Have baby showers always been a thing? Or is this just a recent thing?

[ThatPeachSnake]

I can’t remember anyone having a baby shower up until around 5 years ago. Am I correct? I’m guessing it’s down to SM and I hate to be a party pooper but doesn’t it all seem a bit … grabby and wasteful?

I see this big rubber balloon arches that are terrible for the environment. Loads of shit bought for the baby. I get it might be nice to get together with your loved ones for a horah before life gets crazy with sleepless nights etc but I guess the excessive-ness of it all really puts me off.

I don’t have children and many of my friends don’t so I am only going off what I see on social media!

@ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea well I'm 40 and feels like a lifetime ago

They’ve been around longer than 5 years - perhaps people just didn’t post pictures as much as they do now. Isn’t it like anything these days? Some people like a big party with lots of decorations etc, others are more low key.

I think it’s a nice thing to do - I don’t agree that there’s “loads of shit” bought for the baby. My dh arranged a surprise one for me, yes, there were lots of gifts ( I really didn’t expect any) but they were all brilliant and much appreciated! I also used everything. I think it’s more common to have one for your first dc.

Mine was great day, I loved seeing my family and friends together, bbq in the garden, some music, a cake, all just really chilled.

You have no idea of the horrors Mum to be is about to go through, let her have a moment before the shot hits the fan please

I had one 16 years ago.
friends came to my house and cooked a meal for about ten of us including my mum & mil.
there were gifts. None were desperately extravagant. Mum gave me stuff my gran had made for me as a baby.
just a nice evening spent with friends in my living room! & those who cooked cleared up afterwards.
it was lovely.
for second children we made a point of going out for dinner (& small gifts) without our husbands and toddlers! … which was also lovely & honestly probably the only time we chatted properly over a three year period!!

it doesn’t have to be tacky and expensive.

Very recent and fortunately still not too widespread.

Ghastly

My dc are 17 and 20, baby showers weren't a thing when they were born. In the UK it was always seen as bad luck to buy things for a baby before it was born. I didn't buy anything for dd1 until was 12 weeks out of superstition. I remember an older work colleague telling me that when she was pregnant in the 80s she bought a pram but the shop actually refused to give it to her until the baby was born!

I never had a baby shower for any of my children, 8 and 10... never even crossed my mind. If I have another, again probably wouldn't have a baby shower. Not appealing to me but each to their own! 😊

The first I heard of this was for a wedding shower my American friend’s half sister was being thrown, approx 20 years ago. My friend was being matron of honour but as the stepmom was into designer labels and so was the DD my friend felt pressured to do the same (she’s not into designer labels) but in the end bought something expensive but not designer because there’s only so many Dior/LV gifts you can have right?!

I’ve been to baby showers for friends and relatives which are ok but often the mother either is or isn’t bothered depending on pregnancy stage.

They've been a thing in the US forever.

I had one for my first child 14 years ago, and a few other friends did too. It was very low-key - a nice tea, small presents for the mother-to-be, some games (guess the date the baby will arrive, guess the weight, baby photos, that sort pf thing). It was a nice opportunity to spend time with friends and celebrate what is going to happen.

Baby showers were definitely around when I had my ds3 who is 13. I didn't have one but a few of my friends due at the same time did. I think the balloon arches are a much newer thing and done by people with more money than sense as my mum would say!

I know people who had something called a baby blessing party or similar which sounds nicer than a big baby shower. There is no presents but the guests make things for the baby at the party, all equipment provided. One friend had a load of white baby vests and fabric pens so each guest did their own design, someone else did tie dye vests and someone else did squares of material that her mum made into a quilt afterwards. I thought that was lovely and thought about doing that with dc4 but he was born prematurely.

At antenatal classes with my dc2 we did a thing where we all brought in a bead and an encouraging note for each mum and a piece of cord or elastic for ourselves. We put all the beads we were given to make a necklace. We were meant to wear the necklace during Labour although I didn't.

The first one I went to was for a child who is now 11, but it was pretty low-key (coffee, cake and small presents). It wasn’t a thing when I had my older teens.

I recall going to many as a child in the mid 90s. They happened once the baby arrived. People brought food and gifts and yes there were games and music. Very much called baby showers. I loved getting to have a cuddle of another baby.

It's another load of crap from the USA. Another way for retailers to get more money out of you!

I had a joint baby shower and birthday house party. No balloons, decorations or baby related games etc. My close friends gave me gifts for the baby instead of me. My other friends brought drinks to the party.

It was nice to celebrate and I’m so glad because 5 months later it was lockdown and I haven’t socialised in the same way since I was pregnant.

I think it’s nice for mums to be. It doesn’t have to be expensive for guests. It’s joining the mum club and it’s something nice to do at an anxious time.

They have always been a thing. They are actually becoming less of a thing now.

I went to one about 12 years ago, and it was awful. Awful games like cut a piece of string to the size of the host's bump, 'pin the dummy on the baby'. No alcohol at all. It was all women, and the blokes were getting pissed in the pub.
Also very grabby... gifts were expected.

Then when baby arrived, there was a "meet and greet" party, which was similar and also just as grabby.

I dislike them. I really cant see why you’d celebrate something that hasn’t happened yet.

I’ve only ever been to one (2 years ago) and im 49. I didn’t want to go but I really couldn’t get out of going and it didn’t feel right.

I also dislike these hen nights abroad where the bride decides she is the only one to wear while snd every one else wears black. Ive just seend photos of a colleague’s daughter whos just back from some place in ibiza where you wear heels and a bikini drinking out of orange tumblers. Fully made up and probably sweating like a pig!

Loubelle70 · 29/05/2024 09:16

Likewise. I remember being young and my then girlfriend's pal having a baby. A stream of relatives and friends visited to see the baby and drop off presents, such as clothes - often knitted bonnets and booties.

Then there was Silver for the Bairn, a Northeast tradition, which seems to have died out. Mam and a friend / sister would promenade the neighbourhood with the baby in the pram and people would put a silver coin or two in.

You'd see women, including ones you didn't really know and they'd say "Silver for the bairn!" and you'd put a few 5p or 10 p coins into the pram.

It's similar to the kitchen tea that you have before you get married. It's usually women only but it doesn't have to be, and you're only meant to bring a small gift. As someone mentioned, someone else should host it or it looks like a grab for gifts. I didn't have one and plenty of people don't. Most people prefer to give you a baby gift after the baby is born, it's more fun.

I’ve seen this new trend recently- nesting parties. Everyone comes round and helps you prepare for baby so cleaning, laundry, batch cooking etc. Think they are much better than baby showers!

Had one 11 years ago myself and attended a good few over the last 20 years. I think they are an american import from around 20 years ago. Mine was just a buffet at my house and some games and gifts for baby. Nothing extravagent. I think its nice when its all uour first babies and an excuse to get together with close friends.

i had one when i was pregnant with my daughter 14 years ago
and threw my friend one 15 years ago
i think they were a fairly new thing in the uk at that point

I think they’ve become more of a thing now that fewer babies have been getting christened. Previously the christening would have been the celebration and time that the parents/baby were given presents, but now people aren’t as religious it’s swapped to baby showers instead. Personally I prefer christenings not necessarily for the religious element but because they take place after the baby has arrived.

They ate a horrible American import. Super tacky imho