Do you live where you grew up?

[eggplant16]

I have this great longing to go back to the town ( it is a town even though it calls itself a city) where I grew up. I don't know anybody there any more. My family are all dead. Why do I have this and what to do? What am I trying to solve?

No - over 200 miles away from that place. Went back a few weeks ago for a funeral. Went past my primary/infant school - it looked the same

I am glad my parents moved to London

Yes, but I didn't stay from childhood to now, I moved back here after a long time elsewhere. I travelled a lot, have lived in several different areas of the UK and two places abroad... But I always missed home.

I don't live in exactly the same place, went from one small Welsh village to another small Welsh village, but basically within spitting distance of where I grew up. I've just never felt more at home anywhere else, and thankfully my husband and daughter love it too!

Yes I do. It's a beautiful place with loads of excellent services, things to do etc. As a teen I hated it but as a parent I was keen to get back. Look at what you like about it and look for these things elsewhere. Maybe you're grieving or missing a sense of belonging.

Yes the last 2.

What's that saying: "You can never go back." You can, but it won't be the same, particularly if you don't know anyone there anymore. Sounds like you are feeling a bit displaced and looking for a sense of belonging?

Yes. I could visit. To up sticks and move probably isn't an option. I sort of wondered if I just go and feel the feels will it help me somehow?

When I get back to my home town I feel a feeling like I feel nowhere else. I’m home! Unfortunately where I grew up is now unaffordable but if I win the lotto I’d knock out dh, put him in the boot of the car and bribe the kids in every way possible to get them there!

NO, I dont like to go back, i do go back but i find it odd seeing people i knew before and havent seen for 40 years or so

No, can't afford it anymore. I'd love to go back home but not looking likely anymore.

No and I wouldn’t want to. Nothing wrong with the place. It’s just not home anymore. Home is where I live now and I love it. Couldn’t imagine living anywhere else

Nothing wrong with visiting at all, but maybe go with a sense of curiosity rather than wistfulness, if you see what I mean? I'm going to visit an old friend for their 50th birthday soon and I will have to drive by my old house where I lived with my ExH - first time was weird, now I just feel a sense of release! It's totally normal to feel a bit displaced in this mad world and look for a sense of belonging - tell you where I get mine from, I joined a creative writing group and I feel like a proper part of a gang, despite the fact we are all ages, genders, shapes and sizes, political and religious persuasions, but we all have one thing in common and it's lovely.

No. I've never lived in the place I grew up since I left home after university. I wouldn't want to move back there, and I couldn't afford to even if I wanted to. It's super-posh, home counties commuter belt. Convenient, well-connected, very naice towns, pretty villages and nice countryside. I just find it very boring! In the town where I went to school, you'd be pushed to buy a 3-bed semi for less than a million.

Yes I love the village I live. We regularly go on holiday around the UK so quite well traveled but nowhere quite feels like home

50 miles away, where I grew up is a bit of a dump. Where I live is quite decent.

What is the place you grew up like OP? Does it have a sense of community? Jobs? Affordable housing? Is it somewhere you think you’d be happy?

Yep. We did travel and live in other places pre kids but we always wanted to raise our family here. We love it.

No I left to go to university when i was 18 and never returned.

I sort of wondered if I just go and feel the feels will it help me somehow?

Yes, do it. Exorcise some ghosts and figure out your feelings.

I come from somewhere that's become an area of high population turnover, so, like you, I'm in a situation where the place that is "home" is there but the people aren't. You need to unravel the feelings.

I was 74 miles away from where I grew up but am now 24 miles away and that has worked really well for me. I’m much happier here.

I live and work in my home town on the south coast 4 days a week, and with my partner in SE London 3 days a week. I've done this for the last 6 years. It's odd because I feel I'm home in both places. I have friends in both places and both are so familiar. But there's rarely any over lap between both 'worlds'. It's a logistics thing that keeps it like this for now, but I'd have no qualms on living solely in either place, I don't feel any more drawn to my home town.

Sort off. I grew up in two places and live near the second place. I'm in the next door town.

I lived in two other places for a short time as well.

This! I do like visiting (still have family there) but I could never afford to live there, and nor would I want to. It’s got a very different feel to it now, quite soulless and money-driven with a high street full of chain stores and restaurants, whereas it used to have an alternative community who ran interesting events and businesses. Surrounding countryside is beautiful though, I do miss that.

More or less, I'm in the next village. I did move away for a while in my 20s, then came back. I feel at home here and have no desire to move. I like traveling, but I love coming home. I have always been the same. Even as a child, when we came back from holiday, I would run upstairs and hug my bed. It's a semi-rural area and I enjoy the countryside. I'm not a city person at all.

Same here. The particular area is still OK, but the town itself has gone downhill. The council is bankrupt and the town is often in the news for the wrong reasons and isn't a nice place to be any more.

My life is where I live now.

@eggplant16 I'd explore counselling for the issues you mentioned with a view to enabling yourself to embrace new things in life and have enjoyment and comfort from reachable sources. Good luck OP.

Yes just a 2 miles away from my childhood home. A different part of town that is all.