Do you live where you grew up?

[eggplant16]

I have this great longing to go back to the town ( it is a town even though it calls itself a city) where I grew up. I don't know anybody there any more. My family are all dead. Why do I have this and what to do? What am I trying to solve?

No. Couldnt afford it when I left after uni and still cannot afford it now!

Your name made me smile! Thats the place!

Nooooo! Oh God I couldn't wait to get away from where I grew up! I remember daydreaming in my bedroom as a DC of going far, far away

But I'm scared. I'll unravel.

I’ve moved probably ten miles across London from where I grew up. We were all glad to move away and I never go back. I feel no nostalgia for the place at all and it is very much changed. DH grew up 120 miles away and since his parents died has never been back or wanted to.

Nope, it was a thriving seaside resort when I grew up, with lots to do, plenty of shops (independents and chains), plenty of entertainments, lots of employment opportunities (branches of national banks, accountants, solicitors, tax offices, factories, warehouses for permanent jobs and lots of casual jobs in hotels, fairground, cafes, shops, etc in Summer).

In the 90s and 00s it suffered the usual seaside resort decline, and for the last 20 years or so has been a run down dump with nothing to do, nowhere to shop, over-run by anti-socials, druggies, etc (which the council encouraged to come to live in the run down ex boarding houses).

I have to go back occasionally and hate the place, I'd never go back to live there, it's all so depressing and miserable, and nothing is being done to improve it.

But I'm scared. I'll unravel.

Why?

You're homesick anyway. Don't you think it might help?

So, I'm homesick and I go there and cry. Then I have to come back.

I left my hometown almost 18 years ago and I do regret it.
It's not an amazing town but it's not a terrible town either.
I miss having - if this makes sense - shared experiences and memories with people.
For example years ago my sister starting working at a supermarket. It was soon established that several colleagues were similar age and had gone to the same secondary school. They didn't know each other but could connect by having conversations like "Did you have Mr So and So for science - wasn't he awful?" or "Were you there when the ceiling fell down in the sports hall?"
I like local and social history and I don't feel that I have a connection with where I live now.

No, and I always have mixed feelings about that. In a way I would like to go back and live there, but I also like where I live and realistically I have lots of friends and a job and a life and then schools and then starting over at my age... The longer you are away the harder to go back.

Although I have a friend who reckons if she moved back to her village in Romania (after 15 years) it would be like she never left and the time just disappeared.

I still live in London where I grew up, but a few miles away. However as the years have gone by I've become disillusioned with London and don't make the most of it. I'm nearly 58 and about to move to Frome in Somerset and can't wait.🙂Just waiting on exchange of contracts and off we go.

No, 140miles away and I love it. Never bumping into anyone from school or old teachers or one night stands. Feels completely anonymous. I've lived here longer than my hometown now so I'm settled where I am. I wouldnt move back because other than pretty villages surrounding the town, there's very little interesting stuff to do nearby compared to where I am now.

Yes, this is what I miss. And I did not value it at all when I was younger! If anything I wanted to escape it.

No. Grew up in South London - Upper Norwood (aka Crystal Palace to incomers). Family had been there since the 1860s (Gt G'dad had worked on the Palace re-building).

Family had been in Newtown from then until DF died in 2010.

All moved away now.

@TheYearOfSmallThings exactly. I didn't value it before 🙁

No, I live 800 miles away. Wouldn't want to go back even though its a nice part of the UK

Yes pretty much, left then came back again

@TheYearOfSmallThings although this has just made me think of the thread I read yesterday about visiting parents and the conversation is always "Do you remember Sue from the chip shop, had a boy called Fred....well Fred has this girlfriend now...Jane..... remember her? You were in Brownies with her sister...." 😂😂
Talking to people when I visit my hometown can feel like you're playing that "6 Degrees of Separation" game !

Do you not want to come back, is that it? Is there a problem in your life?

No, I’m a few hundred miles away and DH a few thousand from his hometown, after both spending years abroad.

We moved here particularly for work & then will move again once we’ve finished here. It’s not the type of work you can find just anywhere.

No. I would rather chop off my right arm than go back to where I grew up - terrible idea.

Live 800 miles south of where I grew up but the countryside is very similar.

No, I live in a different country and haven’t even set foot in my home town for about 10 years. I went through a phase of feeling homesick but I don’t think moving back there would have improved my life and the DDs would not have been ok with it. Objectively, it is a bit of a hole and I hardly know anyone who still lives there.

The area where I live now is full of people who live close to where they grew up and have their families close by and see each other for Sunday dinner etc. I always think that would be lovely but I don’t have that kind of family!

Yes. Moved away twice for two years each time and came back because I was so homesick

Yeah, it's a blessing and a curse, for sure