Do you live where you grew up?

[eggplant16]

I have this great longing to go back to the town ( it is a town even though it calls itself a city) where I grew up. I don't know anybody there any more. My family are all dead. Why do I have this and what to do? What am I trying to solve?

Yes. It was by no means intentional and I lived away for many years, in the same county and two others. It was just a twist of fate. There's comfort in the familiarity (knowing exactly how to get from A to B for miles) but I don't like running into ghosts from Christmas past!

Me too - mine is a small town rather than a village. I love that l can walk down the street and always meet someone l know. Love nothing more than a holiday but home is home.

what you have is called Hiraeth

No I don't. But for 15 years I lived in a city 3 hours from where I grew up and felt a little bit homesick the whole time.
I then moved to a small town of a similar size and with a similar feel and demographic makeup to the town I grew up in - still 3 hours from my home town - and my home sickness was cured instantly.

No, she's mentioned Carlisle, which isn't in Wales. The word derives from a connection to Wales, despite how people have tried to translate it into something not connected to Wales but to their own home over time. https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20210214-the-welsh-word-you-cant-translate

No . A big rough council estate i escaped at 20 . Never looked back .

I get this feeling all the time. Even though i am now settled in another part of the country. It's definitely a feeling of being displaced and not liking change.

Yes, we always owned property here even when working abroad. So we were among the first of many of my school friends who moved back as their parents got older.

One sixth form friend moved back a bit sooner and bought her mum’s house when the mum downsized.

No. I don't even live in the same country .. I go back but never get the feel I wish to be there anymore.

@Arlanymor

The OP is distressed, I kindly meant the overall sentiment conveyed as I'm sure you understood.

Yes, and so do both of my siblings, and our DPs, although neither of them are from here. My DH is from a neighbouring town and so is my BIL (not the same one but very close to each other). Me, DH and BIL were all away in other cities for a few years for uni but otherwise settled here. My siblings have never lived outside the city. It's a great place to live though, our city is fab and the part that we grew up in is especially nice. But the main thing for me is being near to both mine and DH's family, as I grew up with no extended family around which I found sad and felt I missed out. I love having so many relatives within walking distance or short drives and I feel my kids benefit from it loads too. DH agrees, as someone who grew up living very close to his extended family.

I live in the same postcode

My home town, which was a small rural market town, doesn't exist any more. 🙁

Instead there are huge housing estates with dodgy people driving spotlessly clean Audi SUVs, and it has a massive drugs problem.

There were some people arrested for terrorism offences there recently.

I never go back. It's turned into a faceless suburban dump.

I know she is distressed, I have commented sympathetically further on up the thread. I am sure that my pointing out a common error of appropriation isn't going to offend or upset her.

If we don't correct these things then they spread and we've had enough problems trying to hang on to our language over time as it is.

Perhaps the crying will be cathartic. Perhaps you will realise that you don't belong there and not be homesick any more. Perhaps you will realise you are not homesick for the place at all, but rather it is a longing for family, or belonging or something. If you are unravelling, therapy would help you to find what it is you actually need to help you be happy.

No. I was brought up in Australia.

At 21 i moved to the US for work. At 23 I moved to South east Asia for work. At 28 i moved to Europe for work and at 34 I moved to the UK for DH.

I don't feel like anywhere is my natural home. I am 51 now. I have no idea where i will settle for good.

I think... if you have a yearning for a particular place- any place then you should go there. I don't feel like i have a home. And that, as i get older, is becoming an emotional issue. I feel displaced. I cannot imagine feeling in my right spot.

I find all these posts very interesting. I grew up around 4000 miles away in a place where it was just assumed that you'd leave one day. Sure enough I did!

Despite it being obviously commonplace, I always find the notion of staying where you started (or near it) frankly odd because of where/how I grew up. I obviously do not say this to people!!

Yes, can't really be translated but Longing is the closest.

Many thanks, had a shed load of therapy and some. Thanks for your kindness.

I moved from Northern England to London for ten years straight after uni, then to Europe and the US.

Came back to Northern England in my 40’s, close enough to where I grew up to visit, but in a National Park, an AONB.

I always planned on being ‘home’ for my 50th birthday.

Ageing parents, excellent secondary schools, the NHS provision here is fantastic, beautiful scenery in a place people visit from all over the world. I love being here and this new location 50 miles from where I grew up is definitely now where I call home.

OP, have you thought of somewhere closer but not quite the same place? It’s worked for me.

I'm 66 so schools are not important, Thanks. I don't know if I've got it in me to move tbh.

I think you should think about what you want from a location/community and see if you can work out if it’s there.

You could have a really lovely retirement there if it’s got what you want

No chance. Childhood wasn't happy for me. I did a pilgrimage back there some years ago as part of some specialist therapeutic work I was doing to "lay ghosts to rest." I won't go back again. I'm happy where I've lived for the past 32 years

I do visit from time to time even though I no longer know anybody there - but that's because it's a seaside resort and I live a long way from the sea.
I know there are still people living in the area whom I knew from over 30 years ago, but I'm not in touch with any of them and not sure what I'd have in common with them anymore.
But if I had to move, I wouldn't mind going back to my 'home' town. There's plenty of worse places to live.

Thats interesting.