"We were on a break"

[LeaveTheClocksAlone]

Opinions please. Did Ross cheat on Rachel?

YES: They were just taking time to think things over and were still exclusive

NO: She had dumped him and he was a free man

No grey areas. Either yes... or no...

The thing is, has anyone ever heard of 'a break' outside of Friends? It's the only time I've ever heard the phrase so it's not like there are set rules for what it means. As far as I'm concerned Rachel was saying she wanted Ross to back off for a bit and give her a rest from his paranoid controlling behaviour, but in a few weeks when they'd had a chance to miss the good things about the relationship they could re-evaluate and see if they could make it work. To go ahead and sleep with someone else that very night knowing how it would destroy Rachel was him making it an official 'Break-up' that he couldn't undo. That was his decision but he couldn't be pretending like nothing had happened. He crossed the line. He was so far past the line, he couldn't even see the line. The line was a dot to him.

Oh fuck off!!

Technically no

Morally Hell yes.

I'd be absolutely gutted if my DP shagged someone else the same night as a very emotional (and complicated and possible not permanent) break up.

Aren’t you a little ray of sunshine?

Yep he cheated

Agree. If she didn't want a break, she shouldn't have said.

My issue with Ross wasn't this. It was that he seemed obsessive and possessive and was dealing with anger issues.

To keep the drama, then had to come up with a way of breaking them up while they still loved each other, and which wouldn't make the audience hate either one of them.

That was probably the best way to do it. Ross truly thought they weren't together any more and it was only because he was so upset at the time. The other woman hit on him first and made it clear she didn't want anything more than a ONS so he wasn't using her and she was actually happy that he and Rachel were reconciling.

Hugely contrived, yes, but I can't think of a better way to create the drama the story needed without making anyone a real villain.

It wasn't just that she said 'maybe we should take a break... from us' it was that when he called later she was with Mark in her apartment. So Ross thought she'd already moved on. I think this is crucial & is often missed from the debate.

He did make a mistake having sex with someone else so quickly but he admitted it was a mistake & apologised.

Also no one ever thinks about Chloe!

@Carebearsonmybed who is Chloe? Can't remember. Good point about Ross thinking she was with Mark. She was really foolish to allow him to be there, i can't remember exactly how it happened. Ross was being paranoid all along about Mark but from his perspective he had been badly deceived by his ex, he truly believed Rachel had feelings for Mark. She says she she wanted a break and hours later he finds out she is with Mark, so he freaked out. Bear in mind he wanted her for years and she was the cool girl who only laughed at him as a nerd. Even when she got together with him she always lorded it over him that she was the more attractive of the two, she held all the power.

Even when she got together with him she always lorded it over him that she was the more attractive of the two

Did she? I don't remember that.

@NonPlayerCharacter maybe I'm being unfair, that was my impression at the time but I can't think of specific examples. I never really liked Rachel so maybe I'm being a bit harsh.

Technically no but was it a shit thing to do showing complete disrespect for Rachel's feelings? Was she right to break up with him? Yes absolutely.
Ross was such a terrible boyfriend back then, really controlling and jealous, couldn't handle Rachel having a career and being successful, urgh massive red flags!

Yes! He's also controlling in general

She does in s5 ep 19 TOW Ross can't flirt Rachel says he liked her and 9 years later she was his.

At the end of s10 when she sees Mark again when she is leaving Ralph Lauren Mark admits he was after her back then.

So Ross was right that Mark was out to get Rachel.

It doesn't matter what Mark was after though, Rachel had no interest in him. Ross's lack of trust was a betrayal in itself.

😂

Yes. He cheated, no grey areas.

That's not saying she's more attractive than he is, just that he's somewhat timid.

I can see it from both sides, but I agree Ross was bit intense wasn't he.

I think Rachel and joey should of stayed together so theres my curveball 😄

At risk here, but….
They had broken up!

They were on a break but Ross should have realised that Rachel was part of his friends group so a poor idea. He did it because he was jealous of Mark,not because he was over the relationship.

If you have a break from something or someone it is temporary. It wasn’t a break up which is final.

There's a trope in TV/films where a man can treat women like absolute dirt and it's OK if he's a nerd and not a handsome jock. The nerds are just as shallow and objectify women just as much as the jocks but they're better because they don't get the same level of success. It's a bit dated now but it's a thing.

I don't think Ross was the worst example of that, but the character was cut from that cloth.

Hmm technically not cheating…but my XH started something with someone the day after he moved out. That wasn’t technically cheating but it smarted.
If Ross did nothing wrong then why did he race round trying to prevent Rachel from
finding out?! He knew it was wrong. He was a coercively controlling git and she was better off without him. She should have stayed on the plane!