Do I match this inheritance for DC2?

[LeftLegRightLeg]

My lovely great auntie recently died. Her husband died years ago and she didn't have children. My dad (her nephew) has always been close to her and is executor. The estate isn't large, just the flat she owned. Just for background.

I have two children, 13 and 6, and my sister has an 8 yr old. She adored the children, and was particularly close to mine as we live nearby. When my DC1 was 2-3, my dad told me aunt had updated her will to reflect a few changes, and had included a fixed amount (12k) to be left to my DC. I thought was a lovely gesture at the time, but certainly didn't expect or count on it and thought no more of it until now. Obviously I didn't/haven't told DC1.

She doted on my DC2 as much as she did DC1. But, now I know that she never updated her will, so DC1 is the only one of the great grand (?!) nephews and nieces named. Of course it is none of my business how she spends or leaves her money, but I do believe she would have recognised DC2 and probably sister's DC too if they had existed at the time.

My question now is, do I match the amount to put away for DC2? DC do have savings in their name, but not yet this much. We also have savings mostly with DC in mind - not vast fortunes by mm standards, but enough to do this fairly easily. I've wondered if it would look like we are prioritising DC2 with our own savings? Or disagreeing with DAunt's wishes? And then I feel guilty for DN too, I'm confident my sister won't be able to do the same for them (and I don't think sister even knows about the will), and in financial terms our family (and therefore our DC) are more privileged in the first place.

Gahhh. I'm just trying to think about what is fair here. With a decent age gap between DC I'm usually pretty laid back about who gets what, it's more who needs what at the time. And a recognition that DC1 has more spent on them now and so far, but DC2 will catch up, and we are a lot more comfortable than we were when DC1 was this age... Basically we do our best and hope it all evens out. But this seems like a lot, and linked to someone they love. Any advice would be gratefully received!

Of course 😊

Agreed.

My late husband didn't include his grandchild in his will - he didn't get it updated.

Before he died, he told me "You might give X a couple of thousand," so I gave her 3k out of my money. Under Scots law, DH's kids were entitled to one third of the moveable estate after all the funeral expenses were paid. It would have been illegal for me to give the grandchild her money out of the money legally owed to her mother and uncle.

IfThere was a way to save 1k a year for youngest they both get a sum of 12k when 18

they won’t ask where it has come from or the details you can say at 18 there is a family trust that has been paid into here you are

My grandmother left money to named great grandchildren. My DS got money but my DD didn't because she didn't arrive until after the will was made. My Father died three year later and had made an addendum to his will to leave my DD the same amount as Granny left my DS.

If there is a variation of the will to be done it would be kind of your Dad to reallocate some of his inheritance to your DD and your DN, but he doesn't have to. If he doesn't do it now, he might consider making an alteration to his will to even everything up after his death.

Wherever the inheritance comes from in the family, you should try to ensure that your children inherit the same amount.
It will cause a rift between them one day otherwise.

This is a lesson in why we need to update wills regularly or it be done properly as in " and any other issue".

It's not her money. That's stealing.

You can't split the money.
You have to act in DC1's best interests with the money, not give half or 2/3rds away.

You can however decide to give your DC2 money / save more for DC2 to help even things up.

Who is the beneficiary of the rest of the will?

Is it your Dad?

If it is a lot, and if he understands that had your aunt updated her will she probably would have treated the children equally, then he could do a Deed of Variation and divert an equal amount to your Dc2, and nephew.

Talk to your Dad.