Do I match this inheritance for DC2?

[LeftLegRightLeg]

My lovely great auntie recently died. Her husband died years ago and she didn't have children. My dad (her nephew) has always been close to her and is executor. The estate isn't large, just the flat she owned. Just for background.

I have two children, 13 and 6, and my sister has an 8 yr old. She adored the children, and was particularly close to mine as we live nearby. When my DC1 was 2-3, my dad told me aunt had updated her will to reflect a few changes, and had included a fixed amount (12k) to be left to my DC. I thought was a lovely gesture at the time, but certainly didn't expect or count on it and thought no more of it until now. Obviously I didn't/haven't told DC1.

She doted on my DC2 as much as she did DC1. But, now I know that she never updated her will, so DC1 is the only one of the great grand (?!) nephews and nieces named. Of course it is none of my business how she spends or leaves her money, but I do believe she would have recognised DC2 and probably sister's DC too if they had existed at the time.

My question now is, do I match the amount to put away for DC2? DC do have savings in their name, but not yet this much. We also have savings mostly with DC in mind - not vast fortunes by mm standards, but enough to do this fairly easily. I've wondered if it would look like we are prioritising DC2 with our own savings? Or disagreeing with DAunt's wishes? And then I feel guilty for DN too, I'm confident my sister won't be able to do the same for them (and I don't think sister even knows about the will), and in financial terms our family (and therefore our DC) are more privileged in the first place.

Gahhh. I'm just trying to think about what is fair here. With a decent age gap between DC I'm usually pretty laid back about who gets what, it's more who needs what at the time. And a recognition that DC1 has more spent on them now and so far, but DC2 will catch up, and we are a lot more comfortable than we were when DC1 was this age... Basically we do our best and hope it all evens out. But this seems like a lot, and linked to someone they love. Any advice would be gratefully received!

I'm shocked to read poor and immoral advice like this....

Interesting too as usually MN is the first to say you don't have a right to someone else's money or parents don't have to leave it to their own DC or DD/DS.

Now because it's a minor at hand OP can just decide to divide the money into 3? Oh Dear!

@ThisOldThang how to open an account for a 11-15 year old at Barclays (for example)

How to open a children’s bank accountYour parent or guardian needs to help you open a children’s bank account. What they need to do depends on whether or not they bank with us.

If your parent or guardian banks with us

1. They can book a Video Banking appointment online
2. You’ll need to be there during the appointment, and we’ll need to see your passport. If you don’t have a passport, you can use your birth certificate.

You can’t open an account for a 13 year old that they don’t know about. And they would also get a statement for it.

this is right and proper, or people could bung money into their kids’ accounts to earn tax free interest and then just use them for bills etc.

You can’t split money that had been given directly to one person, but you already know that thankfully.

If you can match it for your dd2, I can’t see why you wouldn’t do that automatically tbh. Tell them both that Auntie loved them and wanted to leave a gift.

An ideal scenario would be for you to match DC2 and your Dad to give the same amount to your DN.

I would split it.

My H granddad left 3/12 to my two dc. He knew I was pregnant with the third. It is obvious he wanted all three babies to inherit but you can't leave anything to an unborn child. The money was paid, I took it to the bank, asked that they split it in three and all three children had an inheritance.

So it can be split.

I think you're mistaken.

https://www.lloydsbank.com/savings/child-saver.html

A parent can open an account for a child up to the age of 15 and withdraw money. They need to provide the child's ID documents when opening the account.

If a child opens an account without parental permission, Lloyds will close the account and return the money.

They do send a letter to the child at the home address as part of the process.

Not allowed. It doesn’t belong to the OP to split.
Awkward though…

Legally it can't be split but yes physically you can do it

😱

But that's immoral and illegal or some such guff.

Well done for doing the sensible and fair thing by your children.

I'm pretty confident I've not broken any laws. My children know and have no issue that their then unborn sibling has some of the money.

It's possible to legally vary the will in these circumstances

You can't split it, you have to keep it in trust until th child is 18.

You saving to match is open to you but not depriving your minor child of their inheritance.

@ThisOldThang I bank with Lloyds and so do both my teens. I assure you I went in with them to open their accounts and they receive statements in their name.

Thanks all, this has helped.

I won't be attempting to split it, that wouldn't be fair on DC1 and didn't sit right with me at all, comments have confirmed that so thank you. If my dad talks about recognising DC and DN from his share then we'll discuss it, with a view to prioritising DN if necessary (I don't actually know the exact amount he is due btw). As far as I know my parents and I are the only ones who know about this, so there is time to work it out as the dust settles.

I absolutely don't expect (possibly predict, but don't expect) dad to even it out, so I think I'll just quietly match for DC2 next year or something. As a pp said, that decision should be easy to justify to an adult DC1 and myself. I know I've probably overcomplicated it, the problem is it's not just money, it's tied up with people you love so it's harder to think through.

And so what it they receive statements in the post?

What's that got to do with sharing out this money?

No it isn’t.
The beneficiary is a minor and cannot consent to a deed of variation.
The child’s parents cannot consent on his behalf as it is clearly not in the child’s interests to give away 2/3 rds of his money.

It was your assertion as to “ why would the 13 year old even know about the account/money” that I was responding to.

Anyway, we disagree on the right course of action. No point belabouring it.

Not if those decisions negatively impact them financially, which this would do.
OP, just save up for your dc2 until they have a matched amount.

Sounds like a good approach, OP

Not with money that was never legally yours. You can manage it for them but you have an obligation to take care of it, for the child. That means no giving it to someone else, or splitting it.

The best interests of a child would be no big family rift or sibling animosity due to an unfair inheritance and enhanced like chances (e.g. house deposit).

BirthdayRainbow did the right thing and I'd do exactly the same.

I feel really sorry for your DN. As you said, all the children were doted on and loved. It’s sounds like it’s just circumstances that means DN will end up with nothing when they sound like they’d need it the most, especially if you could afford to give dc2 the same as dc1 will inherit.

Thank you but to fair, thinking about it my situation was different. He left 3/12 for two children so it was obvious what his wishes were. In this case it doesn't seem to be a fraction and clearly the subsequence babies weren't added for whatever reason.

If my eldest two had been unhappy that their youngest sibling had some of their money I'd be disappointed in my parenting.

I know @DanceMumTaxi ... We are all quite close and my dad is a lovely grandad and fair man, although not always known for his perception or thinking outside the box.. 😄 My mum is though, so I suspect they/he will bring it up at some point. But I really don't think it's right to bring it up myself especially not now.

I'll have a think about DN if it's not evened out. It's not reasonable to treat him exactly as one of my own children in this although I love him to bits. They are doing ok he doesn't go without, although I don't think big help with house deposits etc is on the cards. Maybe the suggestion to recognise him (and any future siblings!) in my own will would be a nice and appropriate gesture not directly linked to aunt - I hope I've got a few more years in me yet! - but it does force you to think of these things 😩

If you've got children I hope you've got a will already!