Would you be OK with this?

[Winoonoo]

Would you be happy with your dh going to the gym on a regular basis with another woman?

@Winoonoo, I’m trying to get a feel for the nature of their relationship, so …

How often are they or will they be gymming together?

Besides the gym, do they meet up elsewhere 1:1?
What is their frequency of contact, both in person and through messaging? Is she a colleague or hobby friend?
Do you know if they confide in each other?

I don't know, yes they do, no idea as I don't check his messages, they met through work at first and became friends, no idea

Yes

I dunno, I just wouldn't be happy..

It's not like he asked you, you said no, and he asked if he could go with "clare" instead.

Your all close friends etc

A new work friend, hmmmm

It depends. I trust my gut in situations like that, but if I didn’t get any weird vibes then yeah it wouldn’t bother me.

Okay, so they do meet elsewhere 1:1. How often and in what context? Coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, walking?

At first glance, I would not be comfortable with this. He is already meeting up with this woman, a newish friend, and is now pursuing going to the gym together regularly. That’s a lot of investment of time, energy and attention.

No, it would be completely out of character for DH, who sees the gym as a necessary chore that he gets out of the way on his own, not a social occasion. Neither of us have close friends of the opposite sex so it would raise my suspicions.

Attractive single woman who is not an established part of our friendship group? No way! A woman who I know well and I trust and has been part of our friendship group for many years, yes.

"Going to the gym together"

What about all the other women who would be there?

Whay aren't you worried about them?

He could be even close to.some of those and you'd never know.

It would depend who the woman was. My xh used to go to the gym with his best friend's wife and it was fine. I know that she wasn't his type and he wasn't hers either. Although, there are other women that I wouldn't have been comfortable about in the same situation.

As I said, he's not going often now and he didn't ask any of them to go with him, he asked her. I also didn't say I was worried, just asked how other people would feel about it as I wasn't sure how I feel. He's not given me a reason to