Would you be OK with this?

[Winoonoo]

Would you be happy with your dh going to the gym on a regular basis with another woman?

To those saying no, why is it a no for you?

Sorry, a female friend not his sister. His sister I wouldn't give a second thought!

It's the effect that the physical exercise has on the libido that makes the gym more of an issue. The actual physical effects of the exercise.
So the fact it's the gym they are going to does make a difference.

I wouldn't like it. I've seen too many affairs start in that kind of way.

Is that true?

I doubt there's any concrete evidence that exercising with someone makes you more likely to cheat.

You might as well say manual workers are more likely to cheat if they heave too many boxes that day.

Well there has been stuff written about this. For example
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/beauty/the-surprising-link-between-exercise-and-infidelity-20180118-h0ka87.html&ved=2ahUKEwiN-eq6nKSGAxWyT0EAHZG7Dh4QFnoECCYQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3pATitQQ-XkA3kW0qqoaTy

Coming back to this @greengreyblue - it was a bit unfair of me to describe him as unfit, he does play dads 5 a side! And will sometimes play tennis with me (he’s much better than me 🫣) but he has no interest in the gym whatsoever and if I’m happy with life he’s happy, I like going to the gym and it’s nice walking in with someone but don’t necessarily want to have a workout buddy. The arrangement suits us though.

No, I wouldn't be OK with it but then I was one of the wives who 1000000% per cent knew for an absolute unshakeable fact that my DH wouldn't cheat. The very thought would have been comical/ridiculous/crazy/fantastical etc etc. Well reader, he did and it destroyed me.

Friend, similar age to him

I'd be over the moon because in my case he's very obese and drives me mad talking about loosing weight but never does.

In seriousness though I think I would be uncomfortable rather than ok with it but would not put a stop to it because I'm our case his marriage broke down because his ex cheated and he knows the damage it can do.

So is it a long term friend or a new friend?
And why does he need to go to the gym with her? Can he not go by himself?

If I minded, it would surely suggest that I think he might cheat on me. If he's going to cheat on me then I don't want him. I'm not going to stay with someone where I have to restrict who he spends time with so that he won't have an affair.

Being not OK with this is a clear sign of low confidence and trust issues and indicates that the issues run deeper in the relationship.

No I wouldn't like this.

My DP used to go to the gym all the time with women and men, they went and competed. They were CrossFit bores. I never worried about him training with the women and messaging them etc, it was about the dull pbs etc. My favourite person at work is a man. He is a great bloke. I actually change my days I go to the office if I know he will be in. There is nothing in that either. I am happy in my relationship and I feel if someone is going to have an affair it will happen no matter what.

No.

DH and I have friends of the opposite sex but we don't socialise with them on our own.

In principle, no, of course not.

In reality... Hmmm. Not so sure.

But there's a million potential circumstances unique to you, your dp and this woman, so it doesn't matter what other people think, does it? It matter what you think.

No I wouldn't like it. My partner has female friends and spends time with them if he meets up with them for lunch or something. He also plays various team sports which is mostly men but sometimes women he's friends with are there and part of the team too. That's all fine, but if it was more 1-1 gym workouts, getting sweaty together, I'd not feel as comfortable with that. I can't quite put my finger on why. Maybe because I don't play his other sports, but I do enjoy the gym, so perhaps it's that I'd feel if he's going with anyone I'd rather it be me he spends that time with. Maybe it's because I know so many relationships/affairs that have started out as gym buddies or PTs! What are your concerns OP? Is he choosing time with her over time with you?

Lots more info needed.

Is she single?

Did she suggest they go to the gym?

Was he going to the gym alone before she came along?

Wouldn't it make more sense for her to go with you to the gym when it's your turn presuming that you and your husband take it in turns to go so that one stays at home with the children?

Is she super fit and body confident or someone self conscious because they are a fatty and wouldn't go on her own but your husband gives her platonic support?

Isn't it funny when men have female friends they are invariably attractive and/or younger than them?

I mean when was the last time a woman discovered her husband had suddenly made friends with 65 year old Maureen who works in the payroll department of his company?

Yes

No, he asked her to go with him

No, he wants to but wants to get fitter.

She's not my friend so I definitely wouldn't be going to the gym with her! Especially as it was instigated by him

She's very attractive. No idea if she's self conscious

Depends who the women is. Long term friend then I'd have no problem with it. Some random new person he had met recently I wouldn't be ok about.

Nope! And visa versa

Nope

Why don't you go to the gym with him?

Are dc are too young/childcare and he didn't ask. I'm not bothered about going with him, more that he wants to go with her and didn't know if I was being irrational