Would you be OK with this?

[Winoonoo]

Would you be happy with your dh going to the gym on a regular basis with another woman?

Met after we got together, if that makes a difference

Yes it does make a difference.

We have 3yo and they met just after that.

All the responses are interesting, definitely more saying no. I'd be more OK if she suggested it but the fact he did is making me wonder

If she was a long standing platonic friend it might be different. But she is a new friend of his. You say she is definitely not your friend so I'm assuming your DH has not made any attempt for you to get to know her at all. If not, why not?
Him asking her to go to the gym with him really comes over as them going on dates together.

I've met her a few times but it's not unusual for us to have separate friends so that wasn't really unusual.

Is that really how it sounds?

Are you beaming in from Planet Naive ?

you have young children and your DH has prioritised going to the gym with a single attractive woman, over you?

he’ll tell you that it is all fine but he is looking to bang her and leave.

or just bang her

Well perhaps if its normal in your relationship to meet new friends of the opposite sex and socialise with them separately from your partner perhaps it isn't an issue.
To me it sounds like a boyfriend/ girlfriend thing for him to ask her to go with him regularly to the gym and I can only see their relationship getting closer.
I wouldn't be happy with it.

My best friend is a bloke and we go to the gym together, so it'd be hypocritical of me to be pissed off if my husband did the same. But slap me with the hypocrite stamp, I wouldn't be happy with it in the specific circumstances you've outlined. New, attractive, single female friend? Naw.

No. Reason: life experience.

Every time we have these threads its about 50% are jealous and don't trust their husbands and 50% trust their husbands so don't care. Maybe not an exact split but you'll literally never get everyone to agree on this.

Yes and Mumsnet is full of stories of women who have blindly trusted their husbands/ partners and regretted it. Convinced he would never cheat. But guess what? They were wrong.
It's not a question of being jealous. It's a question of being realistic and aware.

@Solidlump k

Sorry. Don't understand what k means.

I think k is short for ok (because obviously ok takes too long to type).

Or, I am dispensing with the o to show you how dismissive of your opinion I am.

Well if they were intending it to mean they were being dismissive of my opinion it rather back fired because I hadn't got a clue what they meant.

No I wouldn't mind. And I'm not a "cool wife" ffs. That's just a ridiculous way to put a woman down because you can't find a way to justify your own (imo overly controlling choices!). You just either trust your husband or you don't. If you don't then you need to be in counselling or end the relationship. If you do trust him then you can trust him to be friends with a woman. My DH used to have a female friend at work he regularly went to lunch and had coffee with. He also has female acquaintances at the gym. He's also in touch with old girlfriends. He wouldn't have a problem with me going for coffee etc etc with a male friend either.

I would not mind. Why would I?
Don't you trust your husband?

trusting someone & that person being trustworthy aren't the same thing.

@Winoonoo

Nope. Not from the way you've described the situation.

@AmelieTaylor

What an absurd reply. If the husband is not trustworthy then what is the point of being with him in the first place ? If that was the case then this whole thread is a massive waste of time as there are bigger fish to fry.

So let's just put aside that scenario and focus in the insecurities that OP seems to have. Do you trust him or not? And if not, why not?

No I would not be fine with that

@Solidlump yes yes that's it, you are not worthy of my "o" 😳

Exactly! How bizarre that people think this is a healthy way to live. With someone they think is capable of cheating, sad really. And I mean 😢 sad not pathetic sad before anyone starts

Really depends on the personalities, history, their relationship and your relationship. One size won't fit all in this situation.

Also - and anyone denying this can give over - a lot comes down to how attractive she is. Is she an 18 stoner with yellow teeth and spiky grey hair or is she Margot Robbie's twin...

Depends who she is. I'd have no problem with an existing long term friend, especially if I knew them.

If she was a new acquaintance he barely knew, I'd probably have a wobble in my head but ultimately I trust him so I wouldn't act on it and would consider that a me problem.