Are you selfish with food?

[Dollenganger333]

In my household, we will all give away our last rolo, so to speak. Except for dd2. Ever since she was a toddler, she does not like sharing food with anyone and did things like take the box of Christmas chocolates to school and hide them in her locker 🤣. She’s a lovely girl in other ways and nobody is perfect.

But, she’s the only NT person in our household. Which got me thinking that ime most people don’t like sharing food do they? Or am I wrong?

I'm ND (autistic) and hate sharing food unless I've already finished what I want or it's something I don't like but that's included in a meal anyway, if that makes sense.

I wouldn't share otherwise and it wouldn't occur to me to offer around my food either.

I hate sharing food. Would absolutely never order a dish to share for this reason. Before the food is put on my plate though it's fine, as it isn't "mine" yet. Once it is, I don't want anyone else touching it Not selfish in any other ways...

DS1 will share wrapped, or pre-sectioned food no problem, likes it to be fair, has been known to take all of whatever treat it is and diligently portion it so everyone has the same. Will not share drinks or bites, or anything that has been near someone's mouth.

DS2 whilst not unreasonable, if something is his, he expects it to be his. If he is feeling some pressure (internal, because he is a nice boy), then he'll share, but will make sure that he strongly controls the amount being shared - to the extent that when a toddler, he'd hold a crisp with his fingers nearly up to the far edge, and you were only allowed to nibble that much of it as your 'share' (he doesn't mind sharing pre-bitten food)

Fuck me. 😂
Since being born, I share my time, my life, my energy...most of it not by choice.
Now, if not rationing or downright starvation situation, why would I "give my last Rolo?" away?
Don't know what Rolo is, soz.

Yeah, I draw the line at rolos. They're MINE, ALL MINE. Getcherown!!

It's only "selfish" if you believe that everyone has the right to other people's food. But they don't. It's kind to share, but it's not selfish to not share. She isn't depriving anyone of something they are entitled to.

I share because it was drummed into me that this is the "right" way to behave. I would rather not, though.

A lot of NT people seem to really struggle to say what they want or ask for things, instead they tend to drop 'hints' that non NT's may or may not pick up on, and expected to be offered the thing. If you haven't noticed the hint they can take that as a refusal and feel slightly that the thing has not been offered.

Could it be that some kind of miss-comunication along those lines has happened in the past, to the extent that she maybe felt she had given out more then she'd received.

I for one do not want to share my food with anyone! I also think its unhygenic too. Last weeks post of the ladys post re her hubby taking her chips was awful I thought

selfish?

if its my food and I eat it, how is that selfish?

it's just natural. anyone touches my food, they die. painfully.

If it’s sweets and chocolate then no I am not a natural sharer. My twins however just naturally share things equally between themselves. They will break things in half to make sure they both have one, or give the left over one to me/dad if it can’t be shared equally. Or they will always swap one for the other if they have different things and want to try eachothers. Never really been prompted, they always just grabbed 2 of everything when they were toddlers to give to eachother.

Treat food, no I don't share much. But I frequently give myself the smallest portion of meals so I don't think it's that I'm a selfish person with food in general. And if I have bought a treat with the intention of sharing it then I will happily do so

I've had to hide my treats since I was little. My DBs during childhood used to grab more than their share, and since marriage my DH think it's a game to find my multiple hiding places and gloat about it. I now have severe binge issues due to me having zero control over choosing WHEN to eat my treats.

Does your DH understand how what he’s doing affects you, @AutumnFroglets? Because it sounds like the behaviour of an abusive bastard.

Agree, what's the point of designating anything as someone's if in reality it's not, and you're calling your child selfish because she won't give you something that's hers?
Are there other ways she gets singled out for not doing what you want?

Yes I'm a sharer. If I've got something really nice I want DS and DH to enjoy eating it with me. DS got me some naice chocolates for my birthday and I shared them with him and DH. They both do the same.

@DelilahBucket but would you call your ds selfish for not sharing something of his?

Maybe because she's always had to be the nice, patient, undemanding one, the only thing she feels she can assert herself over is treats?

I hate sharing and get a bit peed off with people who insist I try their food or offer it to others, not sure why.... might be that I think they are trying to get rid of it!!! Especially if I cooked it or are being martyrs! Get in I say and mind your own plate 😬🐽

I hate sharing food and entirely blame my DM who used to say 'no I don't want any crisps' and then proceed to pinch 'just a couple' of mine and my DS....handful of each. I HATED it as a child and can't stand it now. If you want food, get food but don't expect mine ever.

DH and DC1 will not share their food, will also always take the biggest piece of cake or the most of something.
DC2 and me are both sharers, like food to be shared equally etc and would never take the biggest piece of anything.

I'm a cheese fiend...I will not share MY cheese.😋

No, it stresses me out massively, as I don’t want to have less than my fair share but also don’t want to appear greedy. Sharing a big bag of crisps with DH for example, I have to share it into two bowls.
Like PPs I grew up in a house where there frequently wasn’t enough food so i think that’s a big factor.

I'll share with family, but that's about it. We went out with friends a few years ago, I took one bite of my meal and a friend reached across the table and stuck her fork in my meal and had a big bit then invited her boyfriend to do the same (which he did) put me right off my meal

I'd had thrown the fucking plate at them and walked out. That would have made me LIVID.

Me too. I'd have really struggled not to throw the food at them. That is disgusting behaviour. Once you're finished, fair enough, or if you offered but to just reach over....jfc, do people have NO manners????

Took my sister ages to work out what I was up to. We would both be given a chocolate and I would scoff it down and then go to her and say very sweetly ‘let’s share together’ and she would give me half of hers.
Noob. Took her till about ten years old to know what I was doing.