Granddaughters left with £200,000 legal bill after arguing over £50 inheritance

[SerendipityJane]

Pretty certain there was an Ealing comedy about this ....

https://metro.co.uk/2024/05/21/granddaughters-angry-getting-50-will-now-face-200-000-legal-bill-20878694

So basically you've given your son an early inheritance. Is he also unmotivated and with a sense of entitlement?

Most parents couldn't afford to give their children a deposit for a house or pay for their degree. It's usual that their house is their only significant asset and so the children only receive money after the parent has died. You're not really as against generational wealth as you claim. Perhaps stop feeling so righteous when you've done what you are criticising others for, you just haven't had to wait until your death to do it.

They should have visited him, in both good and bad health.

i visited by grandad monthly in both good and bad times (travelling 200+ miles to do so by cheap train tickets) for years. He was like a best friend.

When he died I found out he had changed his will to entitle me to more if my uncle died before my grandad (due to a medical condition of my uncle). Said uncle died before my grandad - 9 months earlier.

mum got 60% and I got 40% (instead of the 40% to mum, 40% to uncle, 20% to me if uncle had not pre-deceased).

this bunch of CFs got what they deserved. Knobs.

They'd have got something in Scotland: here, each child is entitled to (at minimum) an equal share of one third of the moveable estate. If a child has died, then his/her children inherit that share.

Someone I know very well had a situation where the children didn't spend as much time on their dad as they might have. He had been unwell for many years.

After he died, his wife got her solicitor to send them the cheques for their share of one third of the moveable estate. They waited a month before cashing the cheques for some reason - possibly they were accessing the confirmation/probate details to verify that that was all they were entitled to. Their father hadn't been a wealthy man, but they possibly imagined that he had more money in the bank.

The wife got a phone call from the bank, asking her to verify that one of the cheques was genuine. She did so and alerted them to the fact that two more cheques were yet to be cashed.

The next couple of days, she was in hospital for a planned operation. A few days later, she heard from her solicitor - he'd got phone calls about the other cheques, claiming they'd bounced. They hadn't - but the bank hadn't been able to get hold of the wife, so had written to her saying that she should issue replacement cheques if she wished the recipients to get the money.

She got it sorted out - the bank agreed to honour the original cheques, but said that it would take up to another 10 days to get the money to the recipients.

The solicitor's secretary then phoned them to say that their money was on its way, albeit delayed.

The wife had a wry smile to herself about the fact that the recipients had only got in touch because they thought their money was gone.

Gosh, they look like such nice ladies, too!

I think it's grim that people don't visit and then complain when they don't inherit as much as they think they should.

Perhaps stop feeling so righteous when you've done what you are criticising others for, you just haven't had to wait until your death to do it

WTF?? I'm not criticizing anyone and I couldn't care less what other people do with their money when they're alive or after their death.

For me, personally, I don't believe in generational wealth in terms of accumulating money for the purpose of passing it on. And I acknowledged in my post that it is an immense privilege to have your education paid for and to receive financial help in purchasing a home. My parents would have loved to be able to do that but weren't able to and I never expected it.

No one should feel entitled to inherit money. If you were born into a wealthy family let's face it - you won one of life's lotteries and you will benefit. But counting on an inheritance that might be swallowed up in care home fees, taxes and outstanding debt would be foolish.

I think it's grim that when GPs don't offer the childcare care that so many MN threads are based on, there is always a: well you know what to do when they get really old and need care. Every every time.

I do think that what your MIL did there was a bit cowardly, tbh.

While it certainly was her money to do with as she pleased, she should have made her reasoning clear before her death. She could have told both her sons why she split her estate the way she did and dealt with any fallout.

As it is she left your husband bearing the brunt of his brother's hurt and anger and caused a terrible rift between the two. That wasn't fair.

All future generations wouldn't be saddled with monetary concerns, they'd just have to earn their money like the rest of us.

Why would you expect someone who doesn't believe in generational wealth to choose an indirect route to opt out?

I agree it’s not as clear cut when people disinherit their kids. I don’t know anything about this case and I’m not talking about this case, but I often see people get called money grabbers and CF etc….

Here’s my experience from my own personal circumstances, my Dad is a narcissistic vile man who used to beat up my mam and sibling. He’s not a nice person to be around and I keep him at arms length. We’ve not spoken since last year and I’m more than happy about that. He tried to play me and sibling off against each other telling me he was leaving me it all (inheritance) then a few months later I wasn’t getting anything as id annoyed him. It’s all for reaction and attention. You get the picture, he’s a lunatic.

Anyone that is NC or doesn’t make effort with their parents, there’s usually a good reason for that, most likely they were shit and toxic parents. Adults that have been brought up with decent parents tend to have loving and meaningful relationships with them and this kind of nonsense wouldn’t happen.

I love my kids more than the world and they’ll get everything when I pop my clogs and I could never envision a time where I would disinherit them.

So calling people money grabbers anc CF is awful because chances are they’ve endured a shit life with shit parent!

To add he’s been such a shit dad and grandad that I hope he leaves my kids something as it will be the only good thing he’ll have done to help them. I don’t want it need his money but life is hard and one of my DC has SEN and could do with all the help they can get so I won’t turn anything away if it makes their life easier!

You said those who know they will get an inheritance are often lazy with a sense of entitlement. In what way is that not criticising?

Generational wealth is assets passed from one generation to the next, whether via inheritance or why the giver is still alive. It is not just about saving for the purpose of passing on after death. Educational expenses and property purchases are some of the key areas wealth is transferred. Based on this, you are one of many who pass on their wealth to the next generation. And I'm not criticising you for doing so, it's what parents do if they can. But you came across as quite judgemental about those who pass on generational wealth when you yourself have already done it.

Agreed its very foolish for anyone to rely on an inheritance. No one knows what the future holds.

@DaniMontyRae My personal observation has been that many (not all) young people who expect to inherit a significant amount of wealth can lack motivation. Plenty of Trust Fund "babies" drift through their 20's and 30's fairly aimless career-wise because they know they'll never have to worry about supporting themselves.

Obviously not all, but it's not unusual from what I've seen. I can't say that I've seen much of that when parents are able to help out with a down payment though. Big difference between a few thousand to help make the monthly mortgage payment more manageable and someone anticipating an inheritance that means they can buy what they want without worrying about earning enough to cover a mortgage.

But people can do whatever they want with their own money. Spend it, give it away, leave it to the barista at Starbucks. Not my business.

But you came across as quite judgemental about those who pass on generational wealth when you yourself have already done it

Honestly not my intention to judge anyone for passing on wealth to their children (or anyone else for that matter). If it came across that way the I apologize.

Where there's a will there's a family.

Good. The granddaughters were grabby. If they didn't have a relationship with their GF and never visited them why should he give them anything?

It's true that some children avoid their adult parents or grandparents for good reasons. There are others, however, who avoid them simply because they don't want to cope with illness.

My next-door neighbour cared for a husband with dementia. Eventually, he had to go into a care home and then hospital.

I used to give her lifts to the hospital - it was out of the way and she couldn't drive. One of her sons could drive and had been given the family car...but it was crushed because he failed to pay the necessary tax and insurance.

I told the (middle-aged) son that I was happy to take him into the hospital too, so that he could accompany his mother. The response? "Oh, I don't like to see my dad like that."

I get that it's hard, but surely a middle-aged man should be adult enough to support his mother?

Personally I think it's a real shame if your hypothetical grandchildren are stuck in insecure rentals because they can't afford a house at 10x salary, put off having children until late 30s because they cant afford childcare etc etc when you could leave them a deposit for property.

The heads of major charities are on 100k plus - they are not doing it for the love of it.

My DF had to be admitted to a care home the last last two years of his life due to failing health. He could not get out on his own.
In his last months, he decided to change his will to include his brother and nephew.
However, he remembered that although they lived 5 minutes up the road, they very rarely visited him. They were given £250 each.
They told me the reason they didn't visit him was because he moaned all the time.

It's not entirely true you can disinherit children in England/Wales. Children - of any age - who can prove dependency on the parent have a case to challenge the Will. Still expensive and still no guarantee though.

And charities aren't money grabbing, they're obligated under charity law to receive income they've been given.

@Humphhhh

"And charities aren't money grabbing, they're obligated under charity law to receive income they've been given."

The case of the woman that was hounded to suicide after being put on the charity 'mugs list' suggests otherwise.

Not leaving inheritance to grandchildren when parent has predeceased can leave to a lot of hurt feelings.

I acted in 2 cases where fathers had predeceased their parent and their minor dcs had been removed from the will with money going to surviving siblings, in case their mothers remarried ‘they didn’t want a stranger inheriting!’

An agreement was reached in both, as the grandchildren were minors, but I’ll never forget the grabbiness of their aunts and uncles. You don’t know that’s what’s happened here behind the scenes.

As for charities - they get in my lifetime, and told my family I’d prefer donations in lieu of flowers, but I’d not leave them money in my will. That’s for my dcs.

I've defended a false Will claim, i find it incredible that their solicitors advised them to continue, there appears to be zero evidence for their case, proving undue influence is very difficult, the main witness is dead, costs are also rarely awarded from the estate....

Especially as the amounts involved were relatively small compared to the potential legal fees.

However, what i found was that many Solicitors haven't a clue about the law and thresholds needed to overturn a Will.

If anyone one on here is thinking of going down this route, speak to one who has experience of this sort of action in the High Court but first of all, use Google and read the many blogs on Will litigation from specialised firms first, at least you'll have an idea of whats involved.

The "moveable estate" children are entitled to a share of in Scotland is often very little anyway. The only asset of note in most people's estates is a property. One-fifth of one-third of the moveable estate might just have got these people their £50 in most cases.

All they had to do was visit their grandad occasionally. They cannot expect their father's share, simply for existing! Greedy people. Hope they've learned a lesson from it!

If you inherited money from your parents, who are you to arbitrarily decide to give that money to charity, just so you can have a warm fluffy feeling for indulging your political beliefs?

Because once someone has inherited money, it becomes their's to spend or save as they wish; whether that's hand to the DC, give to a cause they hold dear or put on red on the roulette table at Monte Carlo. Much of MN seems to have this weird idea that money should just be passed from generation to generation and not actually used.