Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.

[sprigatito]

My dad's partner died of cancer a few days ago, he and I were with her when she died, and I've brought him home with me until the funeral (and probably permanently). He's got Alzheimer's and his partner was his carer. He's been looking pained and twisting his shoulder, he said it's just a spot, but I made him show me his back and found this. It looks just like the squamous cell carcinoma he's had removed before, only it's enormous. He's lost weight and is pale and more vague and breathless than usual, but I thought it was just grief

This is really fucking bad, isn't it? He survived stage 4 lymphoma in 2017 and has a heart condition. I have a doctor calling me back from 111, but should I just take him to A&E?

'Regarding all the phone calls, ask for peoples email addresses and set up a mailing list. Then it’s one and done. '

WhatsApp group chats are ideal for keeping people updated. One for family and one for close friends then no need to keep repeating yourself.

What a nice afternoon together you had planned.

I agree with all the suggestions about setting up a What's App or Email to deal with all the callers. I was once in a similar position ( before What's App etc) and dealing with the constant phonecalls was absolutely draining. There will be some who don't do all the "tech" and they are the ones you could ask others on the whatsapp/email group to ring.

Sending strength for tomorrow. Do you feel.confident enough to take a notebook or ask to record the consultation.

Will you feel able to say before you go "what are the next steps, what are the tests to prove or disprove?" "What are the timescales and what are the care plans for my dad?" My dad is only staying with me, he lives at x, please can you tell me what will happen if his care needs to be transferred home?"

Warm wishes.

Good luck for tomorow @sprigatito 🙏🏻

I think I'll be able to do that, but I'm really nervous about it. I'm going to make some notes later when Dad goes to bed, so I don't get flustered and forget anything. I'm also thinking of writing on a small card "My father has Alzheimer's, so I am here to help answer questions about his history and symptoms" so they know that he isn't completely reliable without me having to say it in front of him (he's a bit touchy about it). Otherwise he will tell them it only appeared last week and doesn't hurt at all 🤯

@sprigatito the little card is a really good idea.

Good luck for tomorrow.orrow OP, I've been following since the beginning and I desperately hope.you get some answers x

I'm being soppy now, but I feel like you're all going in there with me tomorrow. I can't express how much difference you've all made to me. I can't lean on DH as much as I normally would because he's going through hell himself (though he's being absolutely lovely about everything) so this thread is a lifeline.

You've got this x

Good luck 💐

Good luck tomorrow. You've got this. And we're all here holding your hands when you need us, so you're not alone.

Good luck for tomorrow

I will be thinking about you and your dad tomorrow and hope the appointment gives you some answers and reassurance. You’ve truly been amazing to cope with all this and I’m in awe of you.

Sending strength for tomorrow OP, I know many of us are following this and wanting to send support. 💐

Good luck for tomorrow, hope you get support and answers

I'm another one who's rooting for you! I've been following this from the beginning and really wish you, your dad and your husband all the very very best luck in the world.

Good luck 🍀

I'm thrilled that your DH got a job! That's one thing off your mind, anyway.

Very best wishes for tomorrow.

He raised an amazing daughter.

Good luck for tomorrow! I really hope you get some answers xxxx

Followed your story for a little while, just wanted to wish you strength and clarity during this difficult time. I hope the news is better than expected. Your dad has a wonderful caring daughter. Big hugs

Good luck x

Keeping fingers crossed for tomorrow, and I'm really pleased your DH has got a new job.

wishing you and your dad all the luck in the world OP

Just read this thread and sending support to you both today