Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.

[sprigatito]

My dad's partner died of cancer a few days ago, he and I were with her when she died, and I've brought him home with me until the funeral (and probably permanently). He's got Alzheimer's and his partner was his carer. He's been looking pained and twisting his shoulder, he said it's just a spot, but I made him show me his back and found this. It looks just like the squamous cell carcinoma he's had removed before, only it's enormous. He's lost weight and is pale and more vague and breathless than usual, but I thought it was just grief

This is really fucking bad, isn't it? He survived stage 4 lymphoma in 2017 and has a heart condition. I have a doctor calling me back from 111, but should I just take him to A&E?

Bless you. I will be thinking about you today. X

Best of luck OP, loads of us sending good vibes. You're making a massive difference in your dad's life by being his staunchest supporter through this. It must be hell for you, but it is worthwhile. We're all here to support you. loads of love from a mumsnetter in New Zealand!

Good luck for today from me too. I hope you get some answers x

Thinking of you today OP. Xx

Morning OP. Me too!
x

Best wishes for today @sprigatito , I hope the appointment is useful and you get some answers/progress and come away knowing what the plan is.

Good luck for today. Will be thinking of you

Wishing you and your dad lots of luck for today 💐

Good luck today x

Sending you a virtual hand hold @sprigatito 💐

You've got this @sprigatito

Iv not posted before now but wanted to send a message of strength for today.

whatever the outcome, you have been great for your dad. I only wish more people had a child like you when they get to your dad’s stage.

Good luck today. I'll be thinking of you and your wee dad xxx

Haven’t posted before, but sending you my support today 💐

Good luck today.

Re: updating people, can you task one person from each 'social group' with keeping that group informed? People want to help at times like this. Delegate to a cousin or aunt or anyone sensible.

Sending thoughts, strength and hope to you both today xx

I have been following this and wishing you and your Dad well today op. I am thinking of you both. Sending big hugs

Best wishes to you both - I'm thinking of you today

Thinking of you and your Dad today.

Good luck today @sprigatito im thinking of you both. Hope the dermatologist can offer some information and help you feel less alone with whatever it is that you’re dealing with.

Wishing you a lot of strength, OP

Been watching along and quietly hoping for the best news possibly OP. I lost my Ddad to cancer last year so your story struck a cord with me. Hope today has gone as well as it could

We saw the dermatologist, once again I'm not completely happy and need you lot to tell me IABU!

She said it's definitely cancer but it's not clear what type. She is going to book him in to have it removed, within two weeks but hopefully sooner. I mentioned the weight loss and breathlessness, and she said she could hear that he was short of breath and could tell from his skin that he's lost a lot of weight very quickly. She told us to make a GP appointment and ask to be referred for a chest X-ray, because although it is concerning she doesn't think it is related to the back lesion, so it's not her department to refer him. I asked whether it was possible that the lesion is a metastasis - that the symptoms are related - she said it's certainly possible, but unlikely because the lesion is tender, and metastases are usually painless. I'm confused about that, as I've read dozens of papers that say they can be painful, but I'm not a doctor so that's that.

I'm worried about them doing a full excision without knowing what kind of cancer it is or how deep it goes, but again I'm not a doctor.

I also pointed out the other small nodule on his back, which she said is probably a cyst, and a small one close to his eye, which she said will also need to be removed, but not as urgently. No blood tests, and she didn't do a full skin check for other lesions, which I was hoping for.

Please tell me I am being unreasonable and overanxious and that was all completely as I should have expected 🫤

I can’t help at all with the medical part, but I completely identify with the overwhelm of having to keep people updated.
My suggestion: the first person who you are reasonably close to who asks how they can help, ask them if you can use them as your spokesperson. Speaks a few minutes giving them the contact details of the people who have contacted you. Keep them informed. Expect them to take the full load of external communication from there.

Well, you have one answer, @sprigatito

I am not sure why the dermatologist couldn't have just filled in the CXR form. And she could have referred your dad to the physicians.

I guess you just have to go back to the GP.

But I'd be slightly annoyed that she didn't pay more attention to the weight loss and breathlessness.

Will he have a GA for the excision? If so, I think the anaesthetist will order a CXR.