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Original poster

Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.

948 replies

sprigatito · 20/05/2024 18:04

My dad's partner died of cancer a few days ago, he and I were with her when she died, and I've brought him home with me until the funeral (and probably permanently). He's got Alzheimer's and his partner was his carer. He's been looking pained and twisting his shoulder, he said it's just a spot, but I made him show me his back and found this. It looks just like the squamous cell carcinoma he's had removed before, only it's enormous. He's lost weight and is pale and more vague and breathless than usual, but I thought it was just grief Sad

This is really fucking bad, isn't it? He survived stage 4 lymphoma in 2017 and has a heart condition. I have a doctor calling me back from 111, but should I just take him to A&E?

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Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.
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Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.
OP posts:
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AlisonWonderbra · 20/05/2024 18:06

It doesn't look good. I'm sorry you're going through all of this.

Truth be told though, I wouldn't go to A&E. He'll have to sit there for many hours and it won't be considered an emergency. I'd say he needs a referral from his GP

3luckystars · 20/05/2024 18:06

That looks awful
I'm so sorry, you are dealing with so much right now. Yes I would definitely get it seen to today, especially if he is in pain.

helpmum2003 · 20/05/2024 18:06

How worrying OP. I would get an urgent GP appt. Probably not an A and E job. Hope you get it sorted.

Original poster
sprigatito · 20/05/2024 18:07

3luckystars · 20/05/2024 18:06

That looks awful
I'm so sorry, you are dealing with so much right now. Yes I would definitely get it seen to today, especially if he is in pain.

DH's company has just announced its going into liquidation as well 😭 so I feel like my head is exploding at the moment

OP posts:
justabigdisco · 20/05/2024 18:09

Hi OP, I have some experience in this area. Don’t go to A&E - they won’t be able to do anything beyond give him some painkillers and you’ll be sat there all night. Call his GP first thing in the morning and tell them what you’ve told us with the weight loss etc x

Redlorryyellowlorryblue · 20/05/2024 18:11

I’m sorry OP. I would book an emergency GP appointment. I’d only go to A and E if he was in a lot of pain.

Deep breath. One day at a time.

WonderingWanda · 20/05/2024 18:12

Oh op, I have no experience but even to me this looks bad. I'm sorry for all you have on your plate right now. It sounds like such a sad situation that his partner and carer has just passed away and that this had been on his back but has slipped through the net. Agree with others that a&e isn't going to help. Contact the gp for an urgent appointment asap.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 20/05/2024 18:12

I agree with everyone else. Whilst it doesn’t look good, nothing is coming from a trip to A&E other than a long wait. Emergency GP appointment tomorrow

PonyPatter44 · 20/05/2024 18:14

GP tomorrow, no messing around. Your poor dad.

Poor you as well - you must be feeling quite overwhelmed. Be kind to yourself. 💐for you.

Original poster
sprigatito · 20/05/2024 18:17

Thanks, you're probably all right that A&E isn't the right choice. It's just my own urge to get something done right away, but the gp is the right call. He's 300 miles away from home so it'll have to be my gp

OP posts:
Original poster
sprigatito · 20/05/2024 18:22

I know we're not supposed to diagnose online, but assuming this is what I think it is, does anyone know what is likely to happen to him? If it's been growing for months (which I think it has) is it likely to have spread? I've got a really, really bad feeling about this one.

OP posts:
Datafan55 · 20/05/2024 18:23

Agree with the others, urgent GP appt. 111 might be/expediate that (or tell you to try tomorrow).
If any e-consult (if possible if not at his own surgery), attach a picture if possible.

Terrible week for him and you .... Hoping something might work out for you.
Try not to panic until you know for definite....

LizzieBennett73 · 20/05/2024 18:24

Agree with all of the above posts, nothing will happen in A & E other than pain relief. See your own GP in the morning.

Take a very deep breath, and try not to panic. Easier said than done, but panic just makes your heart race and everything feel worse.

determinedtomakethiswork · 20/05/2024 18:28

That looks really bad and I'm wondering why his partner hadn't noticed it..

Do you think that means it's relatively recent?

I hope you do get an urgent doctor appointment tomorrow. Your poor dad. As if he didn't have enough to contend with. 💐

Datafan55 · 20/05/2024 18:29

determinedtomakethiswork · 20/05/2024 18:28

That looks really bad and I'm wondering why his partner hadn't noticed it..

Do you think that means it's relatively recent?

I hope you do get an urgent doctor appointment tomorrow. Your poor dad. As if he didn't have enough to contend with. 💐

If she had cancer, she could have been suffering for months though.

FannyFifer · 20/05/2024 18:31

Oh OP I'm so sorry for all you are going through, I would as others have said wait for the GP tomorrow.

WingingItSince1973 · 20/05/2024 18:33

Oh Op am so sorry for all the stress and worry that's suddenly come upon you. I don't have any advice sorry. I just wanted to send love during this hard time for you xxx

AutumnalLeaves38 · 20/05/2024 18:38

Oh, OP, that must've been a horrible shock by which to be suddenly confronted.

Your poor Dad, and you, for having to deal with so much. Must all seem neverending.

Nothing useful to add medically, just wanted to send strength and my supportive thoughts to you both. Do hope you can get answers ASAP. 💐

K0OLA1D · 20/05/2024 18:40

I echo don't bother with A&E. I would call first thing tomorrow.

Sorry you are both going through this.

Doable · 20/05/2024 18:43

111 this evening.
If working as it should they will advise you, can potentially get dr to phone and prescribe painkillers and also tell you where to go for out of of hours gp if appropriate. Your gp might not automatically see him.
Years ago my gp was brilliant with my dad when he was staying with me. Since covid own gps have been refusing to see any but their registered patients.
On a few occasions trying to get a relative to a dr while away from home 111 advised of the nearest open access clinic and often had an appointment made. They were all great.

CoffeeAndPeanuts · 20/05/2024 18:47

I hate 111, but I actually think they might be useful in this situation. Hopefully they can get you an appointment locally for tomorrow morning.

Definitely not A&E it will just be a long miserable wait, for nothing. I know you feel you want 'to do' something tonight. It's hard. Especially with things as they are. I'm sorry you're going through so much. 🌷

BurntToACinder · 20/05/2024 18:51

That doesn’t look good, I’m so sorry so much is happening at once. Were the moles/freckles in the centre of his back there before because I’m wondering if they could be linked to it?
I agree with going to the GP for a referral. 💐

caringcarer · 20/05/2024 18:56

It doesn't look nice OP. Your GP first thing tomorrow morning. I'd arrive at surgery as they open and ask for an emergency appointment. You might have to wait half an hour but I know my GP has spaces for emergencies first thing. Your Dad will probably be referred under the 2 weeks rule to see a consultant. Make sure you tell the GP about the loss of weight, and other symptoms. So sorry you have all these bad things happening in your life all at once.

Crazycatladyy · 20/05/2024 18:57

Ring 111 explain as you have here that your Dad is not local, etc. They should be able to find you an emergency appointment. Some hospitals also have an Adult Urgent Treatment Centre which he may be refered to tonight and if not GP tomorrow.

Original poster
sprigatito · 20/05/2024 18:58

BurntToACinder · 20/05/2024 18:51

That doesn’t look good, I’m so sorry so much is happening at once. Were the moles/freckles in the centre of his back there before because I’m wondering if they could be linked to it?
I agree with going to the GP for a referral. 💐

I don't know the exact constellation of his moles, but he spent most of his working life in the Middle East and has had a few small skin cancers removed before. He also survived stage 4 lymphoma in 2017. It really doesn't look good.

OP posts: