Please help. Just found this on my dad's back.

[sprigatito]

My dad's partner died of cancer a few days ago, he and I were with her when she died, and I've brought him home with me until the funeral (and probably permanently). He's got Alzheimer's and his partner was his carer. He's been looking pained and twisting his shoulder, he said it's just a spot, but I made him show me his back and found this. It looks just like the squamous cell carcinoma he's had removed before, only it's enormous. He's lost weight and is pale and more vague and breathless than usual, but I thought it was just grief

This is really fucking bad, isn't it? He survived stage 4 lymphoma in 2017 and has a heart condition. I have a doctor calling me back from 111, but should I just take him to A&E?

❤️

Your poor dad and you. Hope you get him seen today, wishing you all the best.

Thinking of you both this morning x

I do hope you get seen asap.
it was a while ago but I’ve been seen by my parents GP in the past when I was registered elsewhere. They registered me as a temporary patient.

I don't have any other advice other than that posted here already, but I just wanted to send you a massive virtual hug. I'm sorry that you are all going through such a tough time.

I don't have any advice for you OP, just to say I'm thinking of you. This is a lot to have going on at one time, be gentle with yourself. Xx

I think that looks more like an infected abscess/cyst. He may just need an incision and drainage and some antibiotics.
It is common that dementia patients lose weight so this is also not necessarily a sign of something more sinister.

Im sorry you are going through this difficult time x

My dad has a lump like this and it too is huge. His is a form of skin cancer, but despite the size we are told it hasn't spread. He is having it cut away in a couple of weeks plus a skin graft. Apparently skin cancers that haven't gone to the lymph nodes have a survival rate of 99% so we are optimistic. There was also a condition (I'm sorry I can't remember the name) that his GP thought he might have initially which wasn't skin cancer at all, so your dad's might not be cancer either.
Take your dad to the GP ASAP, but try your hardest not to panic. Find out what it is then you can take action. I hope he's OK.

Oh and I would take him to A and E as they can refer to surgeons for an I and D.

I hope you managed to get some rest, OP! You’re facing so many challenges, it’s especially important to preserve your energy. So please be kind to yourself.

I - like many people on this thread - have (had) family members who died of cancer.

In some cases it was awful (especially young people…).

In the case of my great grandfather it wasn’t quite that horrible, to be honest.

He stayed home, received excellent care and pain management and went to sleep one night without waking up. It may sound strange but in some ways it was a blessing, I believe.

Just hopped on to say stay strong, look after your own wellbeing and try not to think it’s the worse case scenario. Sending love and thoughts

I'd agree with others GP or 111 if his GP is miles away. If he's in super amounts of pain A+E could provide very strong pain relief, but they are unlikely to do a more urgent referral to dermatology or oncology than the others could. I think you'd just end up sat around for hours which your dad would probably find distressing to be told you need to go through the GP. I'd also phone your GP and see if they will temporarily register your dad with you. Even if they are not taking on new patients, they might in the circumstances (like ours took our baby son on even though they weren't accepting new patients). Even if this lump proves benign, if would still be handy for a frail elderly man to have local GP access.

All the best this am op. Lots of people behind you here

Sending you strength, OP. What a lot of stress you are under. And your poor dad. I hope today brings progress at least. I also hope that the fact it looks angry and feels sore might actually be a sign it’s benign. Whatever happens, having the beginnings of a plan will feel better hopefully x

Sending you love and the energy to put one foot in front of the other today OP. I hope you get quick medical input today.

Good luck today. Hopefully your gp will see him today. Unfortunately that's another worry to add, making contact with the nhs. I do hope it's a cyst or benign

Thinking of you OP. It might be a cyst

Morning @sprigatito Im so sorry you have so much to deal with at the moment.

Something that helped me when I was going through similar - each morning I wrote down what I needed to do, what I could/would like to do if I had time and what I had absolutely no control over.

It helped and forced me to focus on what I was able to do and allowed me to push away the issues that I had no control over to deal with another day.

I know this won’t help everyone. I found it a good strategy to stop me from feeling overwhelmed.

Hope you manage to get your dad seen today - hopefully regardless of what is causing this, they will be able to do something to it that will reduce his pain and discomfort.

OP if he’s coming to you permanently get him registered quickly with your own GP practice. That will give him access to all the medical care available to him. We learned this through bitter experience when our DD had a mental health crisis and ended up in A&E. Much time was wasted that night with our local trust trying (fruitlessly) to get her local trust engaged. Once registered with our own GP things were very much easier.

Thinking of you 🤞🏻💐

It looks exactly like an inflamed cyst which I had a few years ago - completely benign. Fingers crossed it's what I had!

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, OP.

I have no useful advice, but sending you a hand hold anyway.

Good luck. I hope you can see a Dr this morning.

Oh op this sounds so so so hard, sending you lots of love and strength you are an incredible daughter looking after him so well xx

I'm sorry you're having such an awful time OP. I hope you got some rest and can get your poor dad seen today.