Birth trauma - poor maternity tolerated as normal report says

[Justkeepswiimming]

Is this the experience of the majority?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4n1jv7xxpwo?trk=public_post_comment-text

I think we all have pretty grim tales to tell of Birth experiences. From both our own experiences and those of our friends. Are the resources just not there to care? I had a wonderful Midwife who delivered my baby, but prior to that had to beg for someone to check me once I'd been induced because I was in agony. Was written off as being a wimp. They wouldn't check me. I was in tears in a shared ward, on my own trying to make no noise. When they finally checked me they realised I was far along and sent me to the labour ward.

The next day I was desperate to leave, after finding myself with a male midwife who didn't even introduce themselves before starting to express me. A horrid experience. All round.

I've read lots of awful stories, and wonder how we've got here.

No they just want dad or grandma close by because we arent their family. They want dad around for baby's first night. They want to be with their partner for their first night as a parent.

Some people cant outsource that kind of vulnurability to a professional. They find it weird when people can.

The report should have included the women left traumatised by the presence of men being there overnight on addition to the ones tramatised when they were sent home.

But there is no outsourcing, the report confirmed that the level of care is so poor that women and babies are often left on their own. The fact that you are trying to find excuses for the unexcusable is really worrying and confirms sadly why women are treated like this in maternity wards.

There’s a reason I had 3 elective sections. I was treated like shit, but at least the births were controlled.

I had my first in 2002, second in 2014 and third in 2020. “Care” was shocking each time but at least by the third, my bar was so low it was on the floor, so I expected it to be horrendous (and it was).

The report should have included the women left traumatised by the presence of men being there overnight on addition to the ones tramatised when they were sent home.

Absolutely. It’s the only part of the report I disagree with. Someone’s need for her fella to be there does not trump the safety, privacy and comfort of every other woman on that ward

Whenever there’s a MN thread about the behaviour of men on maternity wards the stories are always shocking. when men start behaving more respectfully then we can have the conversation about them staying in wards IMO. But whilst they are staying at other women, kicking women out of their beds to have a lie down, making demands of staff and stealing their food (as happened to me when I had my DC) because they think they should get fed too, they can feck off

It’s a double edged sword.

My first baby, back in the dark ages, fathers were allowed 8am - 8pm and there were strict visiting hours for everyone else. it was a bit shit as the care was abysmal (before the tories), I’d had a section, ds taken to nicu, told I had to get up and walk to the dining area if I wanted to eat, I was left for 6 hours in a pool of blood in bed overnight as they were “too busy” to help me. So if dh had been there, he would have helped me at least.

Second baby, fathers were allowed on ward all the time. I was still alone as dh had to be at home with ds, and the men on the ward made it awful. Noisy, inconsiderate, loudly complaining, walking into the wrong cubicle while women were being examined or breastfeeding, using the loo and shower that they weren’t supposed to, snoring all night.

I had my last baby in lockdown. Again, I would have been on my own anyway as dh had to look after the other two, but for me, no fathers and no visitors at all cluttering up the ward was bliss.

well, apart from being treated like a piece of shit on the midwives shoes, again. There was a problem with the kitchens, they couldn’t get enough supplies delivered. So the food was even more dire than usual. I’m coeliac and there was nothing for me to eat, bar an apple. I was told “gluten for a couple of days won’t hurt.” Fuck me, imagine being glutened after a section, I would have been praying for death on the one working toilet on the ward and in no fit state to look after a baby.

They wouldn’t let anyone order a takeaway or have relatives drop food at the door because, “covid, it’s too risky” but the midwives and HCAs sat stuffing their faces with free pizza and pasta delivered by the local take away, cakes and chocolates from local businesses “for the nhs heros” while women who had just given birth went hungry.

We all complained. But, you know, “covid.”

I had horrendous care. I was begging to be induced after 41 weeks, finally accepted for a checkup at 41+4, found to have high blood pressure. Put on the ward to wait, and wait I did for several more days. Told I was 2cm dilated so just waiting for a bed, then told actually I wasn't dilated at all so needed a pessary and to wait another 24 hours. Then told pessary had made baby unhappy so it was taken out. Blood pressure still sky high. Doctor reviewed me at 3am and asked half way through when had I delivered my baby.
We kept asking why my baby's heart was dropping on the monitor, told it wasn't (as if we don't understand numbers?) That it was normal...
Finally sent for induction at 42 weeks exactly, put my cannula in, monitor on and pulled the red emergency button with ten minutes of being on the labour ward because baby was in extreme distress. Had a cat 1 section within 20minutes. Baby had cord round his neck twice, no amniotic fluid and was very cold and covered in meconium. We spent 3 days in hospital for baby to receive anti biotics, of which two sessions were missed.
I asked to speak to a midwife about a possible rectal prolapse, in tears, after 2 days to which she said it was handover so she'd get someone else to talk to me...no one ever did so I had to build up the nerve to speak to someone else.
I'm traumatised, but too angry to go for a review just yet.
Thankfully baby is well and 7 months old and currently shouting at me refusing to go to bed.

My birth was traumatic in a number of ways but I think it would be outing to discuss all of the specific things that happened. I was certainly mocked and not supported for crying with midwives rolling their eyes and saying 'hormones' when I'd actually had a post partum haemorrhage and thought I was going to die and was traumatised. I was physically very sick and asked for support from midwives at the nurses' station outside my room and they said 'what do you want us to do about it?' I was pressured to remove my catheter before I was ready but then not helped afterwards. Other, worse things happened, too. And I wouldn't even say my experience was that bad compared to lots of women's.

There was a really creepy one across the ward from me who just stared whenever I was breastfeeding. The midwives wouldn’t let me close the curtains either, thankfully men were not allowed to stay over on our wards.

Really? Where I work, women get two doses of morphine 12 hours apart, regular paracetamol and ibuprofen 4 to 6 hourly plus oral liquid morphine they can request hourly if they wish post section. If they appear to still be in a lot of pain despite these meds, then we always request a medical or anaesthetic review to assess why this might be and what can be done to help.
This is Scotland though, so I don't know what England is like.

We do encourage women to mobilise as soon as possible post section, though, to reduce the risk of DVT and reduce the risk of developing an ileus ( bowel spasm) that can be very painful and also potentially dangerous.

I think one of the main issues is if the rationale for actions or events is not explained well enough.

In terms of lack of pain relief in the ward for inductions, this is always difficult. Certain forms of analgesia can only really be offered with one to one care, for safety reasons eg morphine injections. But on an antenatal ward, the midwife might have anywhere between 4 and 12 ( if short-staffed) women to care for. We're constantly fighting to get women in great pain into the labour suite but often there isn't the available staff there or multiple emergencies are happening so all free staff are dealing with those.
Basically we need more staff, more capacity, more rooms in labour ward. More resources in general.

I know it would be Scotland! Scotland overwhelmingly treats patients better across the board IME

I had a c section and when the spinal wore off, I had IV paracetamol (although I had to ask for pain relief) and was discharged with ibuprofen and paracetamol. Absolutely no morphine. To be fair it was adequate for me, but the idea that morphine is standard is not the case across the NHS.

The NHS is a brutal place to work clinically, and what my own experience a midwife in London showed me was that if you were young, passionate and really cared you burned out because you’re making up for the deficit of older midwives who’d had to harden up and care less to survive. They didn’t engage emotionally, they just did the bare minimum and went home. I tried my absolute hardest on the postnatal ward, I did 8 years of staying late, spending as much time as I could with families, breaking my back helping with breastfeeding, answering buzzers from women who weren’t under my care, generally just trying to do what I could. I’m not the world’s best midwife but I slowly burnt out, and lots of my colleagues were the same. We went to community, into midwifery office jobs, to BPAS, to scanning, to health visiting - because the NHS will burn you out.

All that to say - I’ve seen shit midwives. They absolutely exist, midwives who don’t care enough and doctors who don’t care enough. I believe all of you who’ve experienced this too.

I was a midwife when I had my own children and my care was patchy, labour was fine but postnatal was atrocious. I complained, because I felt (and feel) traumatised by what we experienced after my son was born. Having my second son, I thought things would be different but midwife just had no fucks to give. We were very alone and I had PND twice.

The system is broken, we absolutely need more midwives. While we’re so short staffed, the shit ones won’t ever leave or get told to go. There is an acceptable level of shit midwife you can be and still work in the NHS - tell me I’m wrong.

Im in Scotland and have heard many, many, horror stories about labour and postnatal wards. My experience was ok given it was elcs but my recent miscarriage experience certainly was not great and my SIL recently gave birth and was treated terribly both during labour and postnatally. It’s the luck of the draw really.