Why are some parents this irresponsible!!

[butterflywingss]

A neighbour asked me to look after her DC to attend a festive event (apparently child free) on a weekend. I said I have family and plans but my DM felt sorry for her and said I should just look after her. Fast forward, I have asked when she plans to come home so I can send her back for sleep etc. she's messaged to say very late and that she may be drunk if DC can sleep over. I messaged to say that I am not feeling well (which I am not, currently pregnant and not feeling good) and if she can arrange to come and collect her DC. She has an older DC who I imagine is sick of playing parent and is refusing to take her. I don't like to shame anyone but to think your priority is to party THE WHOLE DAY and leave your DC in the hands of a neighbour who is helping out of kindness is crazy to me.

I am not a confrontational person, how can I politely put her straight?

"If DC is not collected by X time, I'll be calling the police to report them as abandoned."

You shouldn’t have let your mum tell you what to do. Nip that in the bud now. And I think this was probably inevitable once you’d agreed to babysit for a festival so I think I’d suck it up tonight and not do her anymore favours.

She's an idiot but you shouldn't say yes to this type of thing.
Just say no in future.

Perhaps your DM would like to take over now😀

I would just take care of the child now, but not agree to look after her again, under those sort of circumstances.

Keep the child. Put them to bed so they are safe.

Never ever do her any favours again.

If your mother felt sorry for her she should have offered herself, not told you to do it.

what time were you expecting her to collect? if the mum is at a festival I’d assume dc would be sleeping over so I’m a bit confused what your expectation was.

Seconded.

Not the child’s fault and she’s safe with you. A drunk mother might be a risk.
Put the kiddie to bed and take it up with mum in the morning. Ring her really early and talk VERY LOUDLY.

She is a single mum and as a mum myself I am always open to helping others mum if it's for acceptable reasons like I really have no one to look after my DC and I need to go to work (as long as they don't take the piss). However, having me look after your child so you get pissed, I am clearly the clown here. Of course I'll make sure the child is fed and safe but this is not the first time and at times has lied to me. Time for me to nip it in the bud going forward.

I think you should think of the poor child, and keep them. Let you oh do any running around.
I agree it's not on, but I'd worry about sending them home now.

To add, this was probably her plan all along.

Didn't you arrange how long it was for then?

Regardless of the event, as a parent you have a responsibility to not take the piss when someone is looking after your child and also responsibility to not get drunk knowing you have to collect your child. She originally told me just a few hours but her child told her she's sleeping over.

In future don't let your mum tell you what to do.

The DC said her older sister is upstairs sleeping I think and doing her own thing. It's the lack of honesty that really ticks me off. This is not the first time, and I do feel sorry for the DC but I also have kids of my own to take care of. Sounds harsh maybe but it's the truth.

Well if she told you one thing and now it's another, don't agree to it again

If it's a festival she'll be gone all weekend, surely.
If the sister is asleep, wake her up and hand the child over.

Next time your DM suggests you do something tell her, 'No. You do it if you're that bothered'.

Next time neighbour asks a favour say, 'No. Last time you took the piss. Don't ever ask again'.

And if she's staying the night, send the DC home first thing. Otherwise her mother is likely to lie in bed with a hangover all Sunday whilst you look after her kid.

Sorry should have been clearer, not a festival like that. I think it's a birthday party.

Where is the father in all of this?

None of this is good on the mothers behalf, but assuming this is yet another absent father who does absolutely fuck all parenting, and she does 💯 - whilst she went about it completely the wrong way, I do have sympathy with her situation.

No one goes to a festival for a few hours. This just sounds really weird. I don’t understand why you’re doing it when you didn’t want to just because your mum said. You’re presumably an adult.

In the past I have just kept her and sent her home in the morning. However, it's because I am not feeling well myself right now & that's not helping the situation. This wasn't supposed to be an all night thing but she's making it one so she can stay out and drink. Last time, she wanted to leave her DC alone at 11pm so she can pop down to have drinks with her mates and asked for me to pop in and check on her. I said no because my kids are asleep and I am alone. I don't think she sent out in the end.