Why are some parents this irresponsible!!

[butterflywingss]

A neighbour asked me to look after her DC to attend a festive event (apparently child free) on a weekend. I said I have family and plans but my DM felt sorry for her and said I should just look after her. Fast forward, I have asked when she plans to come home so I can send her back for sleep etc. she's messaged to say very late and that she may be drunk if DC can sleep over. I messaged to say that I am not feeling well (which I am not, currently pregnant and not feeling good) and if she can arrange to come and collect her DC. She has an older DC who I imagine is sick of playing parent and is refusing to take her. I don't like to shame anyone but to think your priority is to party THE WHOLE DAY and leave your DC in the hands of a neighbour who is helping out of kindness is crazy to me.

I am not a confrontational person, how can I politely put her straight?

You looked after them because your mum said you should. For goodness sake grow a backbone and say no!

Father is an asshole from what I know. I sympathise for her being a single mum and like I said I have tried to help when it's impossible with important things like work. However, it's not my responsibility to look after her DC while she goes on a bender.

Call her and say that the unwell feeling you had has developed into sickness and diahorrea and she’d better arrange for someone to collect quickly!

I told her I am not feeling well and if she can arrange to have her DC picked up. I can hear her oldest roaming the house. I feel bad for the oldest as well because this is the mother's responsibility. If nothing happens, nothing I can do and will just have to keep her with me. Definition of taking kindness for a weakness.

She won't come back no matter what you say. I sadly think you're stuck but I would tell her if she's not on your doorstep by 9am you'll report them as an abandoned child to SS and the Police.

It’s not for your Mum to say what you do! You know this woman takes the piss so you should have just said no.

Keep the child safe and shut her down with a sharp no if she ever asks again.

Exactly my thoughts...

I agree, she talked me into it because she said she can have fun with my DC while we went out but it's always easier for someone else to talk when it's not on them. I know my mum didn't mean it in a spiteful way but it is what it is now.. I should have stuck to my guns as originally and said no can do 🤷🏼

You've been well and truly had. Tomorrow at 7am take the child back and hammer on the door till someone answers

How old is the child you are looking after and how old is the older one ?

Neighbour probably intended to stay just a while but nce she knew you'd hold the fort her thoughts turned to "Great I can stay and get leathered"
She;d have probably said to her child something along the lines of "You'll have fun with butterfly and I can have a good catch up with my friends . That's great isn;t it" ?
So the child tells you that was her plan alll along .

I'd ask your mum to come and take over since she thought it was such a great idea.

The op didn't say it was a festival.

She said "festive event"

The DC is under 10 and the oldest is over 20. The DC is innocent in all this but mum should really be open and truthful about her real plans

I’d be telling your mum to come and look after the child if your neighbour doesn’t sort something out.

she’s the one who guilt tripped you into looking after her!

The thing is, the DC is not the elder sibling’s responsibility. No doubt they’re sick of this too. I’d call friend and say you’re unwell and they need to come back immediately.

Well, you def know now but you're landed with the child for the night. I don't think there is anything you can do/ say that will get the mum to come home.

I guess just in future refuse to babysit because she clearly rips the piss.

He was paid for it, but a friend of mine was babysitting when he was about 16. It was 3 kids under 8. Their dad used to DJ and come home about 4am and send the baby sitter home in the taxi (I babysat them a few times too) he never came home one night! My friend had to call his own mum to come get them. The dad didn't phone until about 8pm the next night.

Don't send the child back to a drunk parent.

Look after the child and return tomorrow with very strong words.

Keep an eye on the situation and report if you have any more concerns

In fairness, though, you’re demonstrating weakness rather than generosity or kindness. You’re doing it because your mother told you to, and already resenting the hell out of it.

You've learnt your lesson op

No more favors!

These people

I think it's more unacceptable that your mum tells you what to do and you do it! You can't then complain when it all doesn't go your way. Assert yourself more!

I would be VERY upfront with this pisstaker when she collects her child. I would let her know that she never intended to collect her child as agreed and let her know you think she’s a selfish CF who is taking advantage of you and her eldest child while neglecting this one. If this ever happens again, you will call the police and let them know that she has form for abandoning her child.

Ridiculous

No, sorry, that doesn’t change anything.

Other people don’t have to pick up the slack.

She probably intended to leave her DC overnight all along, she’s a massively CF.

I'm confused. Why didn't you just knock on the neighbour's door and hand the child over to their adult sibling who you can hear moving around?

Sorry, but this is sadly a problem of your own making. You said that in the past you just kept the child over night, so it’s easy to see why your neighbour had assumed that this time would be the same. Absolutely raise it with her today when she is sober again because you both have different expectations.