Is there a way to check if someone has been baptised?

[Clementinepippa]

Some kind of church register that the public can access? Is it possible ?

If you moved away is that why you weren’t invited? Why not just ask the people who were having the baptism, sounds like your other family member is trying to cause drama tbh, is there a reason they’d do that?

If it was recently could you check the bulletin? Our priest would usually say "we welcome/ welcomed Sophia into the church this weekend" at mass, then that would be included in the bulletin. It's not guaranteed to be in the bulletin but often is.

Would that be the same for your church?

If you're a deeply religious family wouldn't you know how church record keeping works already? I know and I'm not even religious.

What a completely weird thing (joke?) to say. Especially in a country with predominantly infant baptism.

well it obviously depends on the church, doesn't it.

Is there a cradle roll_/ baptismal roll displayed in the church? Ours has one in the wall with the nahe if every baptised baby and the year and month they were christened in on it. It's displayed near the font in my case. Iknow other l local churches sleep have them up. Get soneone you know to go to the church and see if there's one up and get a photo sent.

I know many pepole who invite no one at at all to their child's christening in a Sunday church service and make nothing of it, and others who attend church a service, but for a private christening with just the godparents so it's possible even if the child was christened they just didn't invite people.

With regard to why you arrnt in communication there must be a back story to why you aren't included- do you know what's happened to upset them?

If you trust the friend that told you then it’s probably true.

I would address this with your siblings. Not need to be accusatory but talk about how you feel excluded now you’ve moved away.

To be fair, if you’ve relocated then you’re are going to be far less involved in what’s going on in their lives.

It sounds as though your siblings are “punishing” you for not caring for your parent.
This is hardly the behaviour of decent church going people-and confirms what I think of families brought up to be strictly religious.

I’m not sure I just needed to find out before I say anything as I don’t even know if the family friend is shit stirring or not 😭

Ask the vicar.

Just ring the church and ask!

well it obviously depends on the church, doesn't it.

Indeed, which I assume the OP knows? There will be a difference between the established churches which have a standard form of record keeping, and the nonconformist chapels, but if OP is deeply religious and well affiliated before she left you'd think she'd know...?

There's a register but I would not give information out (that's part of my job) to a random person who asks for those who are children for confidentiality purposes.

Many churches do baptisms within a standard service, perhaps this is what happened? You don't attend that church now. Most the ones I organise have very few guests, just immediate family not extended family.

@widgitfidgit

I wouldn't tell someone over the phone, there's a formal process to get information and as there's actually no legitimate reason why anyone other than the parents (or legal guardians, foster parents) need this information it would be refused.

Did they go to.a C/E or RC school?

How about asking the parents when is x being baptised, I would love to be there, so want to make sure I have it in my diary.

If it is already done, they will have to tell you?

(Assuming this is someone like your sister, and that it is normal within your family for the kids to be baptised and for wider family members to attend)

Surely if things have gone sour so badly that you have to resort to trying to catch someone out it’s time to cut ties and just let it go?!

😂😂

Good idea!

Not necessarily. I know about baptism records as i once worked in a church and used them. They are also used when the child applies for schools. Even if they havent been seen in the past four years

if they attended the catholic school of the parish they were baptised at the school would have direct access to the records.

So instead of putting on your big girl pants, calling the parents and saying "I hear (baby) was baptised how lovely - please do let me know and I can send a card/gift" you're going to SNOOP?!
You sound delightful.
Your family haven't covered themselves in glory by notice inviting you but it's their baptism their rules.
What's the backstory?

OP,
to be serious, if you are part of a "deeply religious family", as you say then go the Christian way, forgive them their ignorance and move on.

You don't need people who don't want you in their life.

Just get on with your own affairs and if they contact you in the future deal with it then.

This is sensible.

What good will come of snooping for information? What will you do with that info anyway? Confront your sibling? Resent them? Cut them off?

Whats important here? Maintaining relationships with your family- discussing issues face to face- or fuming because you weren’t invited to a christening?

If you have an idea when it could have happened, the church newsletter might be available to check online.

I disagree. You want to intrude on someone's private decision as to whether they had you there. You don't want to ask them and you will be devastated if it's true, so what good will come from your prying?