I have a colleague at work with very low self esteem and self worth , he is a time proper carpenter aged in his early 30s , in the past he has been a victim of domestic violence from his Dad as well as intimidation and also his ex girlfriend who used to take her frustration out on him by beating him up
His parents divorced years ago and his Mum has finally kicked this nasty piece of work out
My colleague is blaming himself and his Dad is still trying to manipulate him and control him
On the plus side he has managed to move into a new flat which I thought would be a fresh start but all he does is go home via the pub turn his phone off and then sit and smoke weed all night
He thens oversleeps and is late for work or misses days which results in his earnings going down etc etc . He is on a tight household budget
I have told him we are going to start having random drugs tests at work and I am happy to help him with counselling or therapy
There are lots of obvious things I have suggested to help him such as NC with his Dad etc
He produces some fab work and is one of my best guys and very popular amongst his colleagues and clients and has been with me for around 15 years on and off
I went around to his new flat the other morning to get him up and it was a proper state , washing all over the floor , dishes piled up etc
I am just trying to get him a few small wins that he build on , not sure what else to do
Suggestions welcome