Why was I told off for saying 'To whom it may concern' in an email to client's customer?

[autisticconsultant]

Just joined this year

I basically cc'd a customer into an email chain where a bunch of client employees were discussing how to best help the customer

Then some lady from the client complained to my manager and said I shouldn't have

She also said me emailing a pair of managers 'To whom it may concern' sounded frosty and unprofessional (?)

I used 'to whom it may concern' bc my email was addressing a bunch of people in senior positions and I thought it was more professional than going 'Dear X, Dear Y, Dear Z, Dear A' or 'Hi all'

My manager told me that essentially the lady felt annoyed that I gave this client problem without trying to sum up the problem myself and present her with some action points and her complaints re the To whom it may concern email were to do being put off by the massive problem I gave her re the client

I honestly didn't have an issue with deciphering it - it wasn't encrypted! I've rewritten it for whoever is struggling -

I just joined the company where I work this year.

I copied (cc’d) a customer into an existing email chain where a number of internal staff were discussing how to best help this particular customer.

Following this, a female colleague who was in this email chain, complained directly to my manager commenting that I should not have copied the customer into the internal email chain.

This same colleague also said that in sending an email to two managers and addressing it ‘to whom it may concern’ sounded frosty and unprofessional (?).

I used the term ‘to whom it may concern’ because my email was addressing people in senior positions and I thought it was a more professional approach, rather than saying ‘Dear X, Dear Y, Dear Z, Dear A’ or ‘Hi all’.

My manager told me that essentially the female colleague who complained about me was annoyed that I passed on this customer issue without summarising the problem and presenting solutions. She displayed annoyance regarding the use of ‘to whom it may concern’, not merely because of the choice of these specific words, but because of not passing over the problem properly and professionally.

... And if I'm wrong after writing that, then blow me 😂

Saying "you can dox me" instead of "someone can dox me" is really confrontational, aggressive and rude. It is hard to believe it was really meant, or if it was meant that it wasn't intended to be offensive.

@WildBear I'm sure that by skimming, most people can work out what the OP is saying (ie the simple, general context) but:

1. it takes a bit of time to unpick, given the typos & lack of proper punctuation (e.g. "her complaints re the To whom it may concern email were to do being put off" is a bit of a word salad). Even a few extra seconds of effort is noteworthy on a casual Internet forum or in a fast-paced work environment
2. thanks to the confused/awkward phrasing the specifics aren't super clear. Just some small examples:

• "some lady from the client"... "the lady felt annoyed that I gave this client problem" – we initially get that the lady IS the client/represents the client, so going on to refer to them separately (and the use of different determiners – "the" for the lady, "this" for the client) kind of introduces slight doubt as to their respective roles
• "her complaints re the To whom it may concern email were to do being put off by the massive problem I gave her re the client" – we can assume "her" here refers to tbe manager and not the lady but that split second of unpicking the vague prepositions (within a longer run-on sentence I didn't quote) still detracts from overall clarity

Promise I'm not piling on OP/nitpicking! I work with individuals like that and actually all of these little things really add up in a fast-paced or complex environment that demands clarity

Exactly this.

I have worked as a consultant for over 20 years. If you want an honest answer I don’t think you’re cut out for consultancy. You come across as unprofessional and self centred, your focus should always be your colleagues and the client. Not cc’ing the client in an internal discussion is so obvious it shouldn’t even be necessary to tell you not to do it.

Basically you were being picked up on dumping a lot of opinions on a customer, without presenting it properly, and also distancing yourself from the issue. '

Also note "To whom it may concern" is an address used for people you don't know the identity or all the identities of, or even know who might be involved. It wasn't appropriate in this instance.

You know who the customer is. So Dear Mr or Mrs Smith, would have been a better start. Professional, direct and respectful.

Maybe construct email along the lines of:

Dear Mrs Smith

I understand you are concerned/ have requested/ approached us about X.

I have discussed it with several colleagues and gained various advice and suggestions.

In short, it has been proposed:
1.
2.
3.
4.

I hope this is of help. If you would like to discuss this further, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Kindest regards,

Newbie.

Just to note, you're young, you're new. You will be picked up on communications styles that don't represent the tone of the company. The longer you work for the company, the more you'll pick up on how to frame information.

Don't let this company criticism fester. It is intended to help and guide you.

What’s your name? Call them that. You know full well that it is an awful word.
For someone who proclaims to be so intelligent you are incredibly rude to people that have tried to help you on your various threads.

This is what I am wondering.

When someone has a problem they want help with, it is normal to start a thread to ask for advice / help / opinions. Which you did.

But to then start a 2nd thread, and now this 3rd thread over the space of 2 or 3 days, but not actually take on board any of the help numerous posters have offered just makes it bizarre to keep on starting threads.

This isn't specifically about using 'To whom it may concern' incorrectly - though that is bizarre from a person claiming to be in the very highest % of intelligence. It is about your rudeness and aggressive responses and your difficulty in expressing yourself coherently, both of which seem to be at odds with the work you do, if it is as kindly explained by a pp.

Honestly, given all OP's other threads, I think this is a piss-take, and if it is, it is in very poor taste and seems deliberately designed to perpetuate really negative stereotypes about autistic people. If it isn't a piss-take, I still think MNHQ should step in, because this posting fixation isn't going to improve OP's wellbeing any.

I don’t really understand your post but for me it would have been a ‘Hi all, hope this email finds you well blah blah’

In the company I work for we quite often use “Dear Colleagues…” as an email starter if we’re addressing a wider audience. I’m not 100% keen on it but it does serve a purpose at times.

Ooh, no. “Hope this email finds you well”? That’s terrible and very unprofessional.

You’d seriously be offended by somebody wishing you well? 🤦🏼‍♀️ it’s much more formal than hope you are ok if aimed at clients!

I don't understand what you are saying

I wouldn’t say “hope you are ok” either. That’s equally terrible and not how you would ever start an email. Someone would have words with you if you started an email with either of those where I work- and definitely if you addressed it to a client. We could lose work because of that.

I use both of those depending on how well I know the customer/colleague…also quite widely used amongst others. There’s definitely a lot of customers that prefer less formal

Find it really quite ridiculous that anybody would be offended by the way in which somebody wished you well but guess each profession is different.

I didn’t say I’d be offended, but eyes would definitely be rolled and you would be told to not start any emails like that. Are you expecting the respondent to give you a rundown on their health? No. It’s unprofessional, so don’t do it. What would you do if they said they had terminal cancer?

I agree...I've worked in consulting fir 3 years and with consultants fir over 5 years. The OPs lack of or lazy communication style from the outset is a key indicator they struggle with clear and articulate messaging - something that was pointed out by the complaint and something that is a basic capability fir a good consultant. I think they are also very young so might need some coaching...but it doesn't bode well as its obvious what the right etiquette was to many. Having said that if they usually deal with financial analysis perhaps it's more their forte and they can be focused on that and excel there instead of general problem solving ...

So you can’t ask if anybody is ok or wish them well on the off chance that they are sick? Does this logic extend to real life or just on emails?

Sorry forgot to answer the first part and won’t let me edit. No I don’t expect a full rundown of health because I hope you’re doing well isn’t a question it’s a statement that’s usually responded to with a ‘I’m doing good thanks hope you are too’. Regardless of being sick I’d always respond with that, we don’t really want or need to know about each others health it’s just a polite way of reaching out to somebody.

Well that just shows how different things are in different roles and the formality levels, and also the relationships you have with people you e-mail at work.

I get lots of e-mails that start along similar lines and I take it as they are intended - a pleasantry - in the same way you don't start a face to face meeting with your first sentence being 'the business', you exchange pleasantries first.

Are you expecting the respondent to give you a rundown on their health? No. It’s unprofessional, so don’t do it. What would you do if they said they had terminal cancer?

You are being ridiculous.
Even my GP starts the conversation with 'How are you' when I walk in to the consulting room.
I suspect the world over, but I know for certain in the UK, it is absolutely normal to greet someone like that and that everyone (except you it seems) understands it is a pleasant greeting and not a health check.

You'd hate living where I do, where "Alright?" is a greeting commonly used instead of "Good Morning"

Got to love MN, a true snap shot of our ableist society that can’t be bothered to accommodate an autistic person despite it being a well known fact that many autistic people struggle with communication and often come across as rude despite their good intentions and best efforts.

Perhaps there should be an ND board so that ND posters can get advice from other ND posters on how to talk NT who will understand the struggle, have a bit of empathy, and won’t get offended over the ND communication style.

Don't be ridiculous, you wouldn't survive a second in high flying corporate

There's been a ND board for ages.