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Original poster

Anyone who had to put their DC in nursery to return to work when their baby was 1 (or under) - share your experience please?

56 replies

user666555 · 27/04/2024 16:09

Hello,

Currently in ML and there's a good chance I'll need to return to work by the time my DD is one or even before then.

I feel anxious and the thought of sending my little one to nursery so soon fills me with dread. But the reality is that we're struggling financially as it is and my maternity allowance is due to stop in August so it'll only get worse.

Don't really have anyone that can look after her within the family unfortunately

What was your experience like? Pros/cons? Anyone who has multiple children - any difference in the child you put in nursery earlier?

Thanks

OP posts:
PorcupinesAreSpiky · 27/04/2024 17:25

Hi, I had to go back to work when both of mine were around 6 months old due to financial reasons. My eldest was able to be looked after by family until she was 18 months then went to nursery and my youngest was 6 months old when she started. They were both part time but when my youngest was about 18 months, it became full time. I can honestly say there has been no difference between the two and they settled in really quickly. They were very used to being in a setting so starting school was straightforward. I know that’s not everyone’s experience but it worked for me and the nursery was great. Good luck.

gojumpjump · 27/04/2024 17:27

First child went at 3 months. Now a happy, confident, bubbly big child who will make friends with anyone. I think it did him the world of good and no harm been anyway from me at that age. We have a lovely bond and always have.

BotterMon · 27/04/2024 17:31

Went at 9 weeks (due to where I was living and working at the time). Lovely well rounded child who is now an excellent mother herself. Grandchild also started at nursery early as DD is self-employed.
It's often the norm in other countries. Your child will be fine.

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Childcare & nursery Families
Hall84 · 27/04/2024 17:31

DD started nursery at 8 months. Settled really well and even now i can count on 1 hand the number of times she's cried going in. It's hard to know if this is her or her age but apparently there is more of an issue with separation anxiety at 12/13 months.

theclimb · 27/04/2024 17:33

I had to go back when my twins were 20 weeks (14 weeks adjusted due to premature) - I was the main earner and didn't get any full pay maternity leave. I chose a wonderful childminder instead of so it was more honest from home without a constant revolving door or often young employees. My twins have thrived x

Rainyspringflowers · 27/04/2024 17:33

DS started at 10 months and DD will be 11.5 months. It’s fine to be honest.

Andtheworldwentwhite · 27/04/2024 17:35

I will tell you from the other angle. I used to be the manager of a baby unit. Oh my gosh we love those little ones. We used to fight over who would get to sit and give them their bottle. And the rule was if the baby fell asleep on u … well u couldn’t move. My favourite job was getting them to sleep and singing lullaby’s.

make sure u check out the nursery really well. Talk to people on ur local Facebook page and see what others think. The best ones will have a waiting list.

out of my whole working life with children and that was for over 30 years. Working in the baby unit was my favourite 😻

mitogoshi · 27/04/2024 17:35

When my DDs were born the max leave you got was 29 weeks after the birth so everyone went back or quit. Those kids are now all young adults.

Sillybillypoopoomummy · 27/04/2024 17:36

DS started at 6 months - loved it from the start. I was pregnant with DD (I know...) and was shattered and was going back to work and nursery was far more exciting. He moved out of the baby room just in time to make space for DD at 5 months. She also thrived. They will love it. They will make friends. They will love showing what they do there. We never had separation anxiety at all (apparently more common when a bit older) and they are now mid teens and lovely (apart from when DS 15 has eaten the entire contents of the fridge as a 'snack' and DD is overly agonising over F1).

GlassOfPort · 27/04/2024 17:38

My DC started full-time nursery at five months. Never showed separation anxiety, never complained about going. I would never have been able to provide him with so many activities and such a nice bunch of playmates. He is now a big, lanky teenager and is still friends with some of the boys he met there.

viktoria · 27/04/2024 17:38

I went back to work when my eldest was 3 months old. I work Freelance and it was a full time role, but it was fine.
She was in a small nursery and they had a baby room where she was looked after by a very kind nursery worker.
It's also standard in countries like the US. Where there is very little maternity leave. Don't beat yourself up if you have to return to work.
Luckily there isn't one singular perfect way to be a great parent. There's lots of different ways. All the best

shoppingshamed · 27/04/2024 17:41

mitogoshi · 27/04/2024 17:35

When my DDs were born the max leave you got was 29 weeks after the birth so everyone went back or quit. Those kids are now all young adults.

Exactly the same for all of us before a years maternity leave was a thing

I'm not sure I can add anything useful as it was just the way things were, I dont think there are millions of now adults suffering in any way

Decorhate · 27/04/2024 17:42

I went back to work when eldest was around 6 months old though I had holidays to use up so she was probably closer to 8 months by the time I was back full time.

She was there till she started school but has very little memory of it. I gave up work when she started school for various reasons (including lack of wrap around care) so her younger siblings had a different experience in their early years. But when the youngest started school I went back full time again so they did had less of me dropping them off and picking up.

I don’t think any of them suffered but I did get the best childcare I could afford for Dd with total consistency. She regarded it as a second home.

Decorhate · 27/04/2024 17:44

I forgot to say that like PPs may leave was a lot shorter back then so no choice other than to quit which we could not afford at the time.

Kindleonfire · 27/04/2024 17:44

I went back to work full time when both my kids were six months old. I can still remember when six months was the standard mat leave and a lot of my colleagues of a similar age who had kids in their 20s only got to take six months off.

It's hard leaving them at first, but honestly after a week, it's fine.

mynameiscalypso · 27/04/2024 17:44

Pretty much everyone I know had to put their child in nursery between 9 months - 1 year. All happy well-adjusted kids!

museumum · 27/04/2024 17:45

My ds went at 6mo for 2 days a week (I have my own business and needed to get back to it). It was stressful at first as he was bf and refused bottles so fed a lot overnight at first but thankfully he got the hang of food and cups quite quickly and all was great from about 8mo.
We chose a lovely nursery with lots of outdoor play time and a lovely calm relaxed and homely babies room. He had a great time, walked at 11mo and moved to a toddlers room and stayed at that nursery to age 2.

Icanseethebeach · 27/04/2024 17:47

I did but I left work after a year and a half. I ended up keeping DD in nursery 2 mornings a week because she missed her nursery friends.

museumum · 27/04/2024 17:49

I was able to work compressed hours till ds went to school so we still had Fridays together and continued our baby swimming group and then just socialising with those friends. If you can’t afford to drop hours see if compressed is an option.

ISeeTheLight · 27/04/2024 17:52

I went back to work when DD was 5.5 months as my fully paid mat leave stopped there. I earned more than DH at the time and we couldn't afford not to both work (London).
DD went in full time from the beginning. Honestly it's been good for her. It was a fantastic nursery as well and the staff were very caring plus very low turnover. DD is 10 now and it was so much easier re settling in to preschool and school as she was used to it.

Echobelly · 27/04/2024 17:52

I was planning on taking 9 months off, I actually went back to work at 7.5 months (3 days a week) as being full time SAHM was really not for me, especially when I couldn't drive at the time.

DC loved nursery, didn't give me a second glance when I left and had a whale of a time, developed well socially and learning wise. I had longer at home with my second due to redundancy, which was a bit more manageable as I could drive by then, so he started nursery at 18 months, full time, as with a new job it was harder for ask for P/T but I considered the trade off was I was at home with him for longer. He also loved it and wasn't upset by me leaving either.

Some kids do sob to high heaven when a parent leaves but AFAIK most are 100% fine quite shortly after.

CelesteCunningham · 27/04/2024 17:55

I went back after nine months by choice both times. DH then took a month of shared parental leave and they started ft nursery at ten months.

Eldest is now 6 and in P2, youngest is 3 and still at private nursery. She'll add preschool nursery in September and then start school at 5.

Nursery has been entirely positive for both of them. They settled quickly (the more days they do the quicker they settle), made friends at a young age and generally have been benefited from the experience IMO.

We also benefited, not just from being back at work, but by making friends with some of the parents. We have no family nearby and didn't have any friends here pre DC as we moved to the area a couple of years before they were born. Between nursery and now school we feel part of the community.

Nursery staff are heroes, under valued and under paid. I've been surprised at how many of them genuinely care about the children they look after.

Eldest is at school and after school club with kids she's known since the baby room, and it'll be the same for youngest.

Glittertwins · 27/04/2024 17:57

Mine went from 7 months old when I went back to work. Nursery also had a low staff turnover as well so no sudden changes. Can't say that they've had any problems from being there at a young age.

CMOTDibbler · 27/04/2024 17:58

DS went to nursery ft at 4 months. He settled in instantly and was so loved and cuddled in that baby room. He was very happy in nursery and turned out pretty well with a fabulous bond/ relationship with us

Igmum · 27/04/2024 17:58

DD went just before 6m, I had 12 weeks paid maternity leave and had extended it as long as I possibly could. I was in bits. The first settling in afternoon I was fighting the urge to snatch her from them and run away. The second (when I was sent home) I stood in the window staring mournfully in the direction of the nursery. DD was as happy as Larry and had a great time.