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Original poster

To be furious that friend is over an hour late

63 replies

SnowmanInTheSun · 17/04/2024 14:00

Friend was supposed to be here at 1 (she decided the time). I have made lunch, which is now cold. She texted at 1.10 to say she was setting off in ten minutes and has now just called at nearly 2pm to say she's stuck in traffic. I'm furious. This is so disrespectful and I just needed to get it off my chest. No reasons given btw...

OP posts:
Greywitch2 · 17/04/2024 14:05

Lock up, and go out.

😁

stayathomer · 17/04/2024 14:08

Text back maybe to say you have something you have to do. I generally stand up for people who are late but if it’s annoying you this much it’s probably not going to be a good meet up anyway! Go do something nice to cheer yourself up

ImVanillaBaby · 17/04/2024 14:08

Beyond rude

What's her reason for setting off late?

AzureSheep · 17/04/2024 14:12

If she’s not usually late for things, I’d give her the benefit of the doubt. If she’s always late, and that’s why you’re annoyed, either just accept she’s like that and take that into account next time you make plans, or stop making plans with her entirely if it’s a deal breaker for you.

Cronchy · 17/04/2024 14:13

Is she normally a good conscientious friend who isn’t typically late? If so I’d be annoyed but wait until she arrived, maybe she had a good reason.

if she is typically late, it’s fine to be annoyed but why would you assume she would be on time today and why would you make lunch for a set time knowing she’s unlikely to make it.
its a lot to walk into someone’s house and sit straight down for food so I wouldn’t make anything that can’t be left on, or prepared after guests arrive anyway personally.

so no YANBU for being annoyed, but also it’s either a one off, or highly predictable, so seems like a waste of time to get worked up.

TTPD · 17/04/2024 14:13

She texted at 1.10 to say she was setting off in ten minutes

Did she even apologise at this point, for not even leaving her house until 20 mins after she was supposed to arrive?

PossumintheHouse · 17/04/2024 14:14

If this is out of character I'd wait until she showed up to see what the fuck was going on. She should already have apologised, though. If her showing up late is standard behaviour, go out. You have somewhere to be, remember?

cstaff · 17/04/2024 17:07

I think the fact that you are at home and not waiting at a pub or restaurant is not quite as bad. Don't get me wrong - I hate people being late but in the comfort of my own home wouldn't aggravate me as much.

AnotherEmma · 20/04/2024 08:00

What happened in the end? Did she turn up or did you tell her not to bother?

hottchocolatte · 20/04/2024 08:09

As PPs say she set off late and did she acknowledge this?

I have family members who are always late and the last two times a cousin came to my house she was over an hour later and complained about traffic. The thing is traffic would have only delayed by about ten mins so they must have set off late to get there an hour late

They do not acknowledge this however

what time did she turn up Op?

LookItsMeAgain · 20/04/2024 08:22

Definitely would send a message at 2:05pm saying “Had another appointment that I had to leave on time to make. See you sometime soon” or something like that. Don’t hang around for friend to show up eventually.

betterangels · 20/04/2024 08:23

TTPD · 17/04/2024 14:13

She texted at 1.10 to say she was setting off in ten minutes

Did she even apologise at this point, for not even leaving her house until 20 mins after she was supposed to arrive?

Exactly! So rude.

Emmz1510 · 20/04/2024 08:31

Nope, sorry, I’d be going out, no text, no explanation, she can turn up to find the door locked and you gone. Beyond rude and disrespectful. If she’d given a good explanation for why she set off 20 minutes late I might be inclined to be more forgiving, but no one f’s around with my time like that

chatw0o0p · 20/04/2024 09:09

did they turn up eventually @SnowmanInTheSun?

hattie43 · 20/04/2024 09:57

I feel your pain . I have a friend who is also never on time . I just think it's rude when it keeps happening.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 20/04/2024 10:16

I wouldn't be furious, I would normally give people a while to settle in before I actually plate up food. Why didn't you just eat your lunch and then potter about and give her her plate when she arrives?

If it's really stressful for you when things don't run to time let her know next time you'd really appreciate if she can make an effort to be there at the time she says otherwise it stresses you out.

She was late for lunch at home, not a reservation out or a big occasion- you weren't left by yourself feeling awkward. Get over it if you value the friendship or she'll be too stressed to make plans with you eve again

Imisssleep2 · 20/04/2024 20:20

Eat your lunch and go out, don't bother telling them though, just wait for them to arrive to an empty house, it is disrespectful and annoying especially if no given reason. Are they always like this?

My mum is a terrible time keeper, so if I am doing dinner for 4, I tell her it's at 3, I am just used to her lol.

QuizNight · 21/04/2024 11:31

Maybe wait until you know the reason before getting angry? If she’s not included the reason on the text it may be because it’s too complicated to write down and is better shared in person. She’s probably not having a very nice time stuck in traffic when she’s aware she’s already late. She may be taking the pee or she may have just found out her mum’s died. Wait and see what she says.

Buglife · 21/04/2024 13:38

When I invite people for lunch I ask them here at least an hour before I intend to serve up, or you’ll be shoving food at people as soon as they walk in and there’s no room for anyone being unintentionally late. So whilst being late isn’t great, I’d never think of someone said come for lunch at 1pm they meant the food would be on the table. People need Time to settle, chat, get a drink etc. Obviously if this person is often late and careless you have every right to be angry but also in that case I’d plan to serve something that can sit or be finished when guests get there. I have friends who can be late but also don’t plan situations where this will cause a problem.

Andylion · 21/04/2024 14:08

If traffic weren’t an issue, how long would it usually take for her to get to your place?

bowling47 · 21/04/2024 17:12

I had a guest coming around yesterday evening. Was supposed to come at 5. Said it was a longer journey (35 mins) than expected so wouldn’t be there until 6. At 6.15 they said they were setting off. At 7.20pm I messaged saying not to bother coming.

This is someone I don’t know well so that’s the end of our brief relationship lol. A friend I’d wait to hear her out, but it is beyond rude. If it happened again I would be seriously annoyed.

Bestyearever2024 · 21/04/2024 17:35

The meal was ready for 1 pm and friend was meant to arrive at 1pm?

That seems hopeful/naive/ambitious

Trethew · 21/04/2024 18:14

i know the moment has passed, but next time I would eat my lunch without her. When she arrives tell her to help herself. Either leave it in oven drying out, or on the side stone cold. She should be suitably embarrassed

mrandmrsrobinson · 21/04/2024 18:28

Dump

QuizNight · 21/04/2024 18:39

Trethew · 21/04/2024 18:14

i know the moment has passed, but next time I would eat my lunch without her. When she arrives tell her to help herself. Either leave it in oven drying out, or on the side stone cold. She should be suitably embarrassed

Really? That’s how you’d treat a friend because they turned up late once?

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