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Original poster

How old were your kids when you stopped enforcing a bed time?

65 replies

Soubriquet · 15/04/2024 20:54

9 and 11 year old still have a bed time. It’s 9pm on a weekday, and 10pm(can be a bit later if I go to bed later) on weekend or holiday.

OP posts:
reluctantbrit · 15/04/2024 20:57

Around Y8 I think, she was 12. Covid hit and everything went somehow out of the window. DD could sleep in a bit, we still got her up for normal lesson time but she kind of rolled from bed to desk.

When schools started again she got used to organising her own bedtime.

NoisySnail · 15/04/2024 21:00

When they went to secondary school.

tarheelbaby · 15/04/2024 21:06

My girls are now teen DDs. But, bedtimes evolved naturally as they aged. They reached a point when they were reading to themselves and thus did not need a bedtime story. Now sometimes DD1 will stay up late to finish an assignment.

All the same, I have always popped in to say 'nighty night' either around their bedtime or when I am going to bed myself.

It was such a battleground for me with my mum - she had a set time in her mind for lights out and that was IT!!!

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11 year olds Families
Moreteaandchocolate · 15/04/2024 21:12

My 10 year old goes to bed at 8.30 (with a bath / story time beforehand) but will read to himself in bed after that.
My 12 year old I try to get to bed by 9.30 (with a shower and then watching tv with me beforehand) but she’ll faff in her room “doing skincare” after that! (no tech after 9).

PuttingDownRoots · 15/04/2024 21:15

Mine still.have a bed time at 11&12
But its a bedroom and no electronics time rather than sleep. Reading, drawing etc still allowed.

noctiscaelum · 15/04/2024 21:16

I never had it enforced, as long as we are in our room after certain time, it was fine for us. So naturally, I've listen to the music, read the books, my parents never came to check.

I do the same for my kid. He can stay up to do work, hobby, whatever.
But then, my kid is very organised, set his alarm clock and get up fine in the morning.
If he was having a difficulty getting up, I would intervene.

Quornflakegirl · 15/04/2024 21:17

My 11 year olds still have a weekday bedtime. They need a lot of sleep so it’s in bed at 8:30 and they read to 9/9:30 then lights out.

SpringOfContentment · 15/04/2024 21:23

Mine still have a time when electronics are needed to be downstairs, and kids upstairs.
There is no "lights out" time, just a point beyond which DH and I can get some time to ourselves.
Currently 12 and 14.

lairyfights9 · 15/04/2024 21:26

Dd (12) has a 9pm bedtime but can read for as long as she likes. I feel like I'll start leaving bedtime up to her at maybe 14/15 but I guess we'll see. She's pretty good with getting up early, but school is a bit of a journey so she's up and out really early and I think she'd struggle with that on less sleep..

pwhglap2 · 15/04/2024 21:28

Eldest is 14 and still has a bedtime. I had a bedtime until GCSEs finished (school nights) I suspect we'll do the same, though will probably extend it as it's currently bed at 9 then read until 9.30, probably be 10pm soon. Early bedtimes are def what I miss about the younger years 😂

pwhglap2 · 15/04/2024 21:28

Weekends are less strict, unless they're fighting...!

Newsenmum · 15/04/2024 21:31

I was still being ‘put to bed’ by half 8 well into my teens. It pissed me off so much and of course I didn’t sleep. 😳 I hated missing all the tv shows that were on (pre smartphones and Netflix).

But now I have kids, I totally get why I would want this! Seperate tv room at least.

Echobelly · 15/04/2024 21:33

Never had to with oldest (15) - they get tired easily and generally want to be in bed by 9pm

Oldest (now 12, in Y8) we try to get lights out by 10pm, but sometimes 10.30, we're not too strict about it

menopausalmare · 15/04/2024 21:34

We like a quiet evening to watch TV so my 10 and 12 year are in bed by 9pm. Neither argue because they're tired and up early.

RagzRebooted · 15/04/2024 21:36

Mine are expected to be in their rooms and quiet by 10:30/11pm on weekdays. DD is 14 and usually settled a bit before then, the boys are 16 and 17 and are probably WhatsApping their girlfriends until gone midnight, but as long as they aren't disturbing anyone (including eachother as they share a room), I don't mind. DS1 struggles to wake up regardless of when he gets to sleep, DS2 can get up at 6am no problem.
Weekends, often the older two are out late or staying out, but they know DH and I like some peace and quiet and the living room to ourselves by 11:30/midnight so they are usually settled by then if they're home. Though it's not unusual for DS1 to appear in the kitchen after midnight for a snack!

Marblessolveeverything · 15/04/2024 21:38

Ten year old has bed time 0930 . Oldest one had similar until 12. I don't enforce a bedtime at weekends.

Goldenbear · 15/04/2024 21:53

11 with my youngest, she’s in year 8 now and very organised so will go to bed by 10 regardless, she gets up at 6.45 no problems:

My 17 year old DS I can’t remember but he is like me and goes to bed too late, he does get to college on time though and is getting really good grades so it is not necessarily a problem not that I could say much if it was at his age.

GruffalosGirl · 15/04/2024 21:57

Mine are 13 and 15 and I still have to enforce a bedtime or they would be up all night. But they are late bedtimes as they are both night owls.13 year old is 10 in the week, 15 year old is 10:30. And it's 1am on weekends. But they would happily be up later than that if I let them.

EventuallyDecluttered · 15/04/2024 22:05

We didn't really it just naturally evolved, they were always really good about bedtimes and going to sleep so we just let them gradually stay up later, initially just weekends and holidays them weeknights too. They did a lot of evening activities that went on later and later from late primary school to about year 10.

Takemethere · 15/04/2024 22:07

Soubriquet · 15/04/2024 20:54

9 and 11 year old still have a bed time. It’s 9pm on a weekday, and 10pm(can be a bit later if I go to bed later) on weekend or holiday.

When they could get themselves up and ready on time in the mornings

IncompleteSenten · 15/04/2024 22:12

When they left school.
The bedtime became more a "start relaxing and get settled down now" time as they got older of course but I still needed to help them transition and to prompt them.

Now they are in their 20s and it's mostly just me suggesting and prompting them to try to maintain a routine and get enough sleep but no "hey now lights out in ten minutes" style bedtime unless there's somewhere they have to go early and I need to be a bit more firm in my suggestions or my youngest has had a long period of sleep issues and needs help resetting.

turkeymuffin · 15/04/2024 22:12

Mine will continue to get put to bed for as long as it takes them to grow out of the whole messing around / getting giddy with each other after dinner. I am ready for some peace and quiet by 8:30

turkeymuffin · 15/04/2024 22:13

IncompleteSenten · 15/04/2024 22:12

When they left school.
The bedtime became more a "start relaxing and get settled down now" time as they got older of course but I still needed to help them transition and to prompt them.

Now they are in their 20s and it's mostly just me suggesting and prompting them to try to maintain a routine and get enough sleep but no "hey now lights out in ten minutes" style bedtime unless there's somewhere they have to go early and I need to be a bit more firm in my suggestions or my youngest has had a long period of sleep issues and needs help resetting.

Edited

You still make your 20 odd year olds go to bed on time?!

Ok jeez I do not want to be in that position. I guess there needs to be a transition to being more mature & self reliant

Curtainsforus · 15/04/2024 22:13

I stopped a long time before they realised and I can't remember when exactly but it was early in secondary school

Curtainsforus · 15/04/2024 22:14

IncompleteSenten · 15/04/2024 22:12

When they left school.
The bedtime became more a "start relaxing and get settled down now" time as they got older of course but I still needed to help them transition and to prompt them.

Now they are in their 20s and it's mostly just me suggesting and prompting them to try to maintain a routine and get enough sleep but no "hey now lights out in ten minutes" style bedtime unless there's somewhere they have to go early and I need to be a bit more firm in my suggestions or my youngest has had a long period of sleep issues and needs help resetting.

Edited

😯