Would you tell your mum if your sister was pregnant?

[juneisintheair]

And 17

Planning to keep it

She said her and her boyfriend (partner as she likes to call him), are looking to stay in her room with the baby. She has a small section of the house to herself with an en suite

Her BF is 19 and doing an electrician apprenticeship training so not ideal. He does PT work with his dad as a floor fitter so again, not ideal

My sister has decided she's too unwell to work or continue A Levels at all right now due to anxiety

I feel really sad she has made all of these plans and won't tell our mum until the 20 week scan. Particularly because they want to use her house as their home

My mum is very likely to be super supportive and agree to all of this, but the way, knowing her

So I'm not sure why she's so insistent on holding back

I won't be telling her, for what it's worth. But feel so bloody awful for knowing and saying 0

Tell your sister to tell your mum and that she’ll be supportive.
Is she planning on waiting till she’s past the point where a termination is an option, just to avoid feeling pressured into one?

I don't think so. My mum is a walking example of someone that would never do that, and I think my sister knows that

Your mum might notice before 20 weeks to be fair.

Maybe. She's 15 weeks now and you really can't tell at all, and no sickness

I could hide my first pregnancy, if I wanted to, until about 24 weeks

I think I would. Particularly if she’s expecting housing and financial support from your mum! And if the boyfriend is expecting to move in.

Do you think your sister planned the baby?

For the sake of 5 weeks I'd bite my tongue.

If she was planning on waiting any longer I'd be tempted to drop hints (bad as it sounds)

As she is a minor financially dependent on your mum who you know to be supportive I think I would tell her yes. I’d tell her she had a couple of days to do so (and that you will sit with her to tell her if she wants) or you will.

I would tell, but I'd give her a deadline to do it herself first. It's not fair on your mum, and it's not fair to insist you go along with it, it will affect your relationship with your mum if she finds out you knew.

If she refuses I'd wait say 'mum, ds has something she wants to tell you' then I'd leave them to it.

Your sister is acting like an irresponsible teenager, not a mother. If she wants to have a baby, she doesn’t have the right to do that anymore.

relying on someone else to provide housing and financial support. Likely not seeking proper medical care. It is time for her to grow up.

I would tell her that if she doesn’t tell your mother, you are going to have to choice but to share the information.

What antenatal care is she receiving? If none because of this ridiculous, and frankly immature, idea of keeping it secret, then that in itself is an issue.

In the OP she said she was waiting until she had had her 20 week scan. So clearly she is having antenatal care.

How are you jumping to tje conclusion that she is not getting appropriate medical care when OP says that she is waiting until after the 20 week scan?

I'd give her a deadline of a few days to tell her by, and if she hasn't then I would. Babies are expensive, and an extra 5 weeks to save might be significant if your mums likely to be the one financing the 3 of them (in be moves in)

She's seeing a midwife, and has had a dating scan

Have seen the picture that came out of her maternity notes folder

Its none of your business OP. Please just mind your own the fact that you are asking makes me think you just can't wait to tell your mum! She will have to tell your mum eventually and it's down to your mum to tell her own daughter to organise herself. It is a bit of a mess but it's not your mess!

The boyfriend sounds like he's working his socks off so not sure why you think he and his employment situation isn't ideal.

Absolutely not! Don't do this whatever you do!!

Personally I wouldn’t feel that it was my place to tell if she’d asked me not to, but I would encourage her to do it.

It’s for your sister to tell mum.
Not something for you to be involved in.

I'd tell your mum but ask your mum not to say you told her. She can just say she guessed from thr fact she looked peaky or not drinking or something?

Before people pounce on me my reasoning is that she is 17.

Makes me laugh this site.

God forbid a concerned mum might read her teenage daughters diary. She'd be the devil incarnate on here "for invasion of privacy", yada yada.

But OP is OK to break her sisters confidence?!

I don't think so OP.

She may never forgive you.

I'd tell her due to your sisters age. But I'd let your sister know if you plan to

Id say nothing. You're keeping the confidence of an almost adult & almost parent.

She's suffering with anxiety so it wouldn't help to say anything, perhaps she's trying to keep a sense of control by not telling your mum. She's in her house, she's still parented herself, I can see why she might not want to say anything until 20 weeks.

Yes I would.