Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

CF allotment thief part 2: the Battle of Barbara and the Beansprouts

1000 replies

YaMuvva · 12/04/2024 10:24

Hi all, sorry I didn’t get a chance to post the link to this in the last thread, but it filled up too quickly.

So, another update

DH and I sat and had a looooong talk last night. We poured over every option, the pro’s and cons and the best and worst case scenarios. We thought of every possible situation that could arise from each option and we made a decision this morning.

it was actually the best/worst case scenario talk that clinched it.
Best case scenario for selling it to her was we get a little bit of money. Worst case is we have no allotment and the house possibly devalues.

Best case scenario for if we shared the land is that she is a pleasant plot neighbour and isn’t bitter that we are on the land that used to be ‘hers’ and doesn’t try to boss us about. But worst case scenario is that she remains bitter and makes our lives hell, interferes and our allotment space becomes an unbearable place to be.

Best case scenario for if we keep it to ourselves is we have the enjoyment of a long awaited allotment, one that makes a massive difference to DH’s MH and our general life enjoyment. Worst case scenario is that we make a neighbour - who is smart enough to find another plot or use her own generous garden - cross.

We figured that the worst case scenarios for all 3 weren’t worth risking the absolute best case scenario could bring.

So we are kicking her off.

We discussed letting her wait some months before making her leave or until the end of the growing season around about the end of September. But that when you consider the weather, that would mean we wouldn’t truly be able to enjoy the allotment in good weather for a whole year. I know it can still be enjoyed in horrible weather but the thought of missing out on a whole entire summer of gardening, relaxing and recuperating just feels too long. She has also indicated she will fight us - well she can try and she won’t win so I’d rather the ‘fight’ was a short one not a long one

We went to the plot this morning (no Babs in sight!) and took a soil test, took pictures, used that app to mark the plots (thanks to PP for the tips), and measured it and took pictures of the measurements/readings. From what we can tell she has root veg, fruit and a little herb garden patch, all growing fairly well considering the time of year. We didn’t disturb anything

Going to call the home insurers today to see if we can get legal cover and reclaim costs from the previous owner so solicitors can write her a letter - if not we will just instruct our current solicitors and make the reclaim too. I know we could do a letter ourselves but I really think a legal middle man would be worth the money. We will take solicitors advice on how much notice to give her - but it won’t be long notice. No point, may as well rip the plaster off now. We won’t be offering to buy the shed as I don’t want to be beholden to Barbara or have her make out to others that we stole the shed. We want a clean slate, to pick our own items.

I do feel bad that Barbara will be losing something that is so dear to her and that her ‘sanctuary’ will be taken away but the bottom line is it does not belong to her and she has known this for 10 years. She could have spent that 10 years, or even just the nine months since the house went on the market, to find another sanctuary. We are being selfish, we have been through unimaginable struggles and it’s time to just live for ourselves not a random neighbour. If that makes us a pariah in the community I can take it.

DH also messaged our police officer friend of ours this morning who said if the time comes to bin her stuff and dismantle the shed to call 101 and tell them “We are doing this, it’s our property and we will handle everything with care and bring it to her home” and then if she calls them saying we are stealing or damaging our property then we are one step ahead at least.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Merrymouse · 12/04/2024 22:56

YaMuvva · 12/04/2024 21:45

Let’s be ambitious. Imagine…a West End Musical! songs likes “Carrots mean more me to me than carats” “You bet, courgette” “Plotting my life” “The allotment means Alott to me”

“Plotting my life” - you and Barbara on each side of the stage spot lit - it’s a duet in the style of ‘I know him so well”/“I still believe”. Could Sheridan Smith play you?

EnglishBluebell · 12/04/2024 22:57

Tereseta · 12/04/2024 20:26

Your not in Hampsthwaite are you!?

I'm not far from there

LakieLady · 12/04/2024 23:01

dapsnotplimsolls · 12/04/2024 22:04

OP, I think you should have a drink every time someone mentions adverse possession 😁

Is "adverse possession" the new "cancel the cheque"?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

AprilBringsTheSweetSpringShowers · 12/04/2024 23:01

YaMuvva · 12/04/2024 20:20

Sorry this should read that Babs will be played by Siobhan Finneran or the Windsors woman

Tonbe clear - Siobhan Finneran is NOT Babs

Please don’t sue me Siobhan!

Do you mean Siobhan Finneran as the meanie dark haired Miss O’Brien from Downton rather than as Sarah Lancashire’s well-meaning-but-not-very-bright-ex-addict blonde sister in Happy Valley? Or something else?

That might tell us a bit more about your impression of Babs.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/04/2024 23:02

slore · 12/04/2024 22:50

You are not being selfish for using your own land! Ignore the Be Kind morons. And no, your neighbours won't hate you. This will all blow over soon.

She's had the absolute privilege of using land that she has not paid for for an entire decade. She never had any moral entitlement to the land and she requires no sympathy for this undeserved gift coming to an end.

Barbara is a cunt. She knew that her friend's land had been sold and she carried on using it as her own regardless. She deserves no compassion whatsoever and her upset is entirely self-inflicted. Even if she had somehow been misled, her feelings about having to give up someone else's land are not remotely relevant. That's what happens when you use something that isn't yours: you eventually have to give it back. She knew this when she took it on.

The one thing I would say, that I don't think has been suggested yet, is to set up a trail camera to surveille your plot. These are battery-operated and motion-activated, and designed to capture wildlife. I say this because as previously mentioned, Barbara is a cunt and is highly likely to sabotage your allotment before or after she leaves.

Para 3: Barbara is a cunt.
Para 4: ...as previously mentioned, Barbara is a cunt ...

I cannot stop laughing. You have put so much effort into your post and punctuating it with, Barbara is a cunt, has made my day!

OP, do investigate adverse possession.

CaveMum · 12/04/2024 23:05

I’m picturing Babs played by Anne Reid, in similar guise to her role as the ill-fated florist Leslie in Hot Fuzz.

WickedSerious · 12/04/2024 23:07

dapsnotplimsolls · 12/04/2024 19:29

I'm predicting at least a 4-threader for this one!

And a Christmas Special.

MalcolmsMiddle · 12/04/2024 23:09

Caplin · 12/04/2024 22:33

I gave a short advice post, I got a sarcastic pile on. I’m not the one who needs to wind their neck in.

Nah, despite your own circumstances you need to own your gross stupidity.

saraclara · 12/04/2024 23:10

MalcolmsMiddle · 12/04/2024 23:09

Nah, despite your own circumstances you need to own your gross stupidity.

FFS. Give us all a break.

MalcolmsMiddle · 12/04/2024 23:14

saraclara · 12/04/2024 23:10

FFS. Give us all a break.

Think you replied to the wrong person

Mumof3confused · 12/04/2024 23:15

The old owner was probably terrified of Barbara and that’s why she didn’t mention anything to her. If they were such good friends/neighbours that Barbara got to use the plot for ten years for free, she will also have known that the house was being sold and that the plot would change hands.

As previously mentioned by someone else, Barbara is a cunt. She was waiting for you, op.

saraclara · 12/04/2024 23:17

MalcolmsMiddle · 12/04/2024 23:14

Think you replied to the wrong person

No, I was replying to you.

MalcolmsMiddle · 12/04/2024 23:18

saraclara · 12/04/2024 23:17

No, I was replying to you.

OK, usually admire your posts so will let you off for this one.

Zonder · 12/04/2024 23:22

WickedSerious · 12/04/2024 23:07

And a Christmas Special.

And it will be revived as a zombie thread in 5 years time when someone suggests OP looks at adverse possession.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 12/04/2024 23:23

Siobhan Finneran lives down the road from me. See her in Tesco’s.

iAmBarbara · 12/04/2024 23:26
Oh No Reaction GIF by Acorn TV

Siobhan Finneran is a brilliant actress but not how I picture Barbara at all!

KaitlynFairchild · 12/04/2024 23:29

At this show will almost certainly be a huge hit, should we also think a bit about the cast for the Hollywood remake? I'm thinking Zendaya as the OP, Dave Bautista as the husband and perhaps Michelle Pfeiffer as Barbara - or perhaps Sharon Stone.

RadoxMoon · 12/04/2024 23:29

CockSpadget · 12/04/2024 21:29

Sean Bean has to play the northern DH. He can use his best “bastards” on Barb

https://imgflip.com/i/8mlwzh

Sean Bean Lord Of The Rings

An image tagged sean bean lord of the rings

https://imgflip.com/i/8mlwzh

oakleaffy · 12/04/2024 23:29

Mum lives next door to a Barbara...My brother calls her BOB as in ''Bugger off , Barbara''

She bullies Mum, wants mum to fell her tree because it makes a mess on BOB's car, fusses and moans about so much.

BOB is a thin, wiry middle class woman with a fierce, iron grey bob.

WickedSerious · 12/04/2024 23:31

Ghosttofu99 · 12/04/2024 21:13

Ok, this is too much. Fair enough that you are entitled to the land and therefore entitled to piss off as many people as is necessary to get it back but the fact that you see yourself as more entitled to the harvest than the person who planted and nurtured the current crops and hope nothing gets ‘creamed off’ is at best cold. You’ve lost any sympathy from me, not that you’ll care.

Calm down dear,you'll do yourself a mischief.

AngryBookworm · 12/04/2024 23:32

Ultimately if the previous owner felt that strongly about Barbara having a right to the land she could have legally, officially, gifted it to her for free. But of course that would have devalued her house so she didn't do it. She's been greedy and dishonest (at the very best naive). Barbara should be angry at her friend, not you. You know that if the roles were reversed and she'd bought a plot you were cultivating, she'd have dismantled the lot by now. Stay strong, OP!

oakleaffy · 12/04/2024 23:35

AngryBookworm · 12/04/2024 23:32

Ultimately if the previous owner felt that strongly about Barbara having a right to the land she could have legally, officially, gifted it to her for free. But of course that would have devalued her house so she didn't do it. She's been greedy and dishonest (at the very best naive). Barbara should be angry at her friend, not you. You know that if the roles were reversed and she'd bought a plot you were cultivating, she'd have dismantled the lot by now. Stay strong, OP!

True Crime Reaction GIF by Signature Entertainment

Absolutely!
It's OP's land, fair and square, It's not as if Barb hasn't got a large garden that she can grow her weed in , or whatever she's cultivating.

Happinessisamyth · 12/04/2024 23:39

KaitlynFairchild · 12/04/2024 23:29

At this show will almost certainly be a huge hit, should we also think a bit about the cast for the Hollywood remake? I'm thinking Zendaya as the OP, Dave Bautista as the husband and perhaps Michelle Pfeiffer as Barbara - or perhaps Sharon Stone.

Hollywood remake would be Bryan Cranston, Drew Barrymore and Maya Rudolph

BettyBardMacDonald · 12/04/2024 23:43

JayAlfredPrufrock · 12/04/2024 23:23

Siobhan Finneran lives down the road from me. See her in Tesco’s.

That's brilliant.

I always imagine that famous people have someone to shop for them. Or do click and collect.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.