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Why do some people expect things for free?

92 replies

Catcherintherice · 09/04/2024 23:30

I sometimes makes cakes as a hobby, and pass them on for fundraising; school fetes, charity raffles, etc, or share them with friends/ neighbours.

I very rarely make a cake I want to try that I don’t already have a ‘home’ for, and will then offer it on social media for a donation to cover the cost of the ingredients. Although my kitchen is of course clean it has not been hygiene inspected by the local council, so I don’t sell cakes for profit.

I recently advertised one on social media and a few people asked me to make one for them. I explained that I don’t make cakes to order and recommended a few good local bakers.

One woman gave a tale of woe, appeared to be friends with someone who had previously had a cake from me, and against my better judgement I agreed to make a ( fairly basic) cake for her. I had to be home that morning anyway for a heating engineer.

I told her how much the ingredients would cost.

She sent a few messages. One changing the flavour and another asking for an extra filling. Both increased costs a little but I didn’t alter the cost to her.

She then said she didn’t drive and wanted me to deliver. I don’t normally deliver. If I am just recouping the cost of ingredients it doesn’t give me much leeway for fuel or indeed accidental damage to the cake, but for the same reasons I initially felt sorry for her and agreed to make the cake, I also agreed to deliver.

It then occurred to me that the heating engineer might need to turn off the power as I had had a problem with the thermostat, so I decided to make the cake the day before.

I turned on the oven and the RCD tripped. I reset it and it happened again several times. I called the cooker cover plan company and they said they would arrange an appointment within 5 days.

I sent her a message apologising that I couldn’t make her cake and explained why. She had mentioned having a supermarket delivery the next day, so I suggested amending her order to include a cake. The message showed as opened, but she did not reply.

I next heard from her the following day upset that I had let her down and she didn’t know what to do. She clearly hadn’t ordered a cake for delivery.

She asked me if I could buy some sort of cake, similar to what I would have made.

My nearest supermarket is over 10 miles away ( approximately 7 miles from her), and I was waiting in for the heating engineer, but my friend was in town and she picked up a pretty decent cake. It cost £1 more than the cake ingredients I quoted.

Once the engineer had called I drove 3 miles to deliver the cake, intending to just charge the original sum ( whilst making a mental note to never agree to make a cake under similar circumstances). When I got there she was quite off with me, strongly implied that I had let her down and getting a replacement cake to her was the least I could do. She went on for some time before I realised that she didn’t intend to pay.

I know I said I would do something that in the end I couldn’t do, but she knew that I agreed as a favour, and not as a business. I don’t know why she thought I should be out of pocket. She’s not a friend, just a random person who contacted me via social media.

OP posts:
TulipBluebells · 09/04/2024 23:37

I’m so sorry she treated you like this!

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 09/04/2024 23:37

Surely you didnt give her the cake?

Thatsthewayitisnt · 09/04/2024 23:40

Join the CF thread! What an absolute freeloader she is.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

TheCheekyKob · 09/04/2024 23:40

It’s really bizarre you went out and bought a cake for her and delivered it.

CallMikeBanning · 09/04/2024 23:41

Did you buy and deliver a cake to a rude woman you didn't know for free.

Catcherintherice · 09/04/2024 23:41

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 09/04/2024 23:37

Surely you didnt give her the cake?

No, I didn’t.

OP posts:
Catcherintherice · 09/04/2024 23:42

CallMikeBanning · 09/04/2024 23:41

Did you buy and deliver a cake to a rude woman you didn't know for free.

I didn’t give her the cake.

OP posts:
TheCheekyKob · 09/04/2024 23:44

Catcherintherice · 09/04/2024 23:42

I didn’t give her the cake.

But why did you even get one and take it around there?

Catcherintherice · 09/04/2024 23:44

TheCheekyKob · 09/04/2024 23:40

It’s really bizarre you went out and bought a cake for her and delivered it.

I agree. She really did give a very convincing sob story, but with hindsight I should have just said no at the outset.

OP posts:
stargazer02 · 09/04/2024 23:45

You sound like a lovely person. I hope it won't put you off offering (premade) cakes in the future.

PlasticOno · 09/04/2024 23:45

Honestly, OP, you’re coming across as almost as much of a nutter as she is! Did you agree to make a cake for someone at a loss, even though you don’t bake for a living, then agree to deliver it for free as well, and then, when through no fault of your own, you weren’t able to make the cake, you drove miles to the supermarket, and bought and delivered a cake to this whiny, rude women for FREE???

Catcherintherice · 09/04/2024 23:47

PlasticOno · 09/04/2024 23:45

Honestly, OP, you’re coming across as almost as much of a nutter as she is! Did you agree to make a cake for someone at a loss, even though you don’t bake for a living, then agree to deliver it for free as well, and then, when through no fault of your own, you weren’t able to make the cake, you drove miles to the supermarket, and bought and delivered a cake to this whiny, rude women for FREE???

I didn’t drive to the supermarket, or give her the cake, but agree with you that I didn’t act particularly rationally.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 09/04/2024 23:53

You sound crazy! Why would you even think of buying a cake or making her a cake or taking a cake to her? You don't even know her!

MLC13 · 10/04/2024 00:07

You sound lovely but also crazy. People always want for nothing. Just to clarify did you take the shop cake to her but then refused to give it to her?

Catcherintherice · 10/04/2024 00:13

MLC13 · 10/04/2024 00:07

You sound lovely but also crazy. People always want for nothing. Just to clarify did you take the shop cake to her but then refused to give it to her?

Yes, I took the shop cake to her but she expected me to give it to her. So I brought it away. She wasn’t happy.

OP posts:
NewbieParentMango · 10/04/2024 00:16

What did she say when you turned up with the purchased cake and didn't hand it over?!!

theduchessofspork · 10/04/2024 00:19

Um, OP you are being a real mug here.

She’s a CF, but no one made you act like a doormat.. or a doormat’s doormat possibly, it’s pretty extreme.

EggFriedRiceAndChips · 10/04/2024 00:25

Bless you Op you sound like a sweetie!

Catcherintherice · 10/04/2024 00:26

NewbieParentMango · 10/04/2024 00:16

What did she say when you turned up with the purchased cake and didn't hand it over?!!

It was odd really. She was talking at me rather than to me. I was holding the cake in my hands and was waiting for her to hand over the cash. She tried to take it and I said she needed to pay. She then started complaining again. A message came through on her phone and as she was looking at that I just walked off.
I was nearly at my car when she realised and she shouted at me but fortunately didn’t follow. She has since sent a couple of messages about how I have ruined her day. She hasn’t said that she would have paid for the cake though.
Also there was a car on her drive, so it looks like someone there can drive and she might not have been so stuck as she indicated.

OP posts:
NewName24 · 10/04/2024 00:30

You have behaved really oddly here.

If you enjoy making cakes, why not offer them to places doing Warm Welcome, or people doing fundraising coffee mornings or something. I can think of several places round here that would welcome a lovely home made cake every now and then. It is really bizarre to just offer them out to strangers on the internet.

Scarletttulips · 10/04/2024 00:32

You learnt a valuable lesson.

Write it down and remember it.

We all gain experience through living.

Don’t let a few bad apples stop you doing what you love and learnt to block CFs

AuntieSoap · 10/04/2024 00:38

NewName24 · 10/04/2024 00:30

You have behaved really oddly here.

If you enjoy making cakes, why not offer them to places doing Warm Welcome, or people doing fundraising coffee mornings or something. I can think of several places round here that would welcome a lovely home made cake every now and then. It is really bizarre to just offer them out to strangers on the internet.

Did you read the OP? That's exactly what the OP does, the situation she's talking about here is unusual and she said she's not going to do that again.

ALongHardWinter · 10/04/2024 00:59

The sheer bloody nerve of some people leaves me lost for words! What a CF!

coxesorangepippin · 10/04/2024 02:28

You're a fool to yourself, op.

Just shut shit like that down.

Baking cakes and delivering for free!

RebeccaCloud9 · 10/04/2024 02:51

You sound lovely, and you tried to do a nice thing, and then did the right thing in not giving her the cake.

But are you often walked over/taken for granted/taken advantage of? Sounds like you went way over and above for no reason really. You needed to have stood your ground way before the point of walking away with the cake.