My dog has died

[Namechangedforshame]

she was only 9. She had cancer. I don't know how long she was masking the pain of it, but when we realised the vet said no hope, do it very soon. So that happened, 36 hours later, here in our living room. She knew she was dying. She kissed us both goodbye, and then lay down where she used to lie, by my feet, and let it happen.
I have never felt such grief. Not with parents, friends, other pets. Not when I lost a baby early. (This is why I changed my name.) I don't know what to do with it all. She was the thing I loved most in the world and in the end, I couldn't help her.
There's no one in the real world I can tell about this last month. So I'm writing it here.

Meant to say non pet owners sorry

@Namechangedforshame
saying goodybe to a beloved pet who has been an enormous part of your life through the ups and downs is indescribably heartbreaking. Like others who have posted here I know that all too well. In line of sight with my second dog who is loved beyond words and is now old and on the precipe of being the topic of the most dreaded choices.
There is nothing performative about your grief. There is nothing mundane or worthy of patronising head patting about the muddy lead or the box of dog treats; they are a legacy of the everyday, habitual love and lives intertwined and when half of that precious equation is no longer on this earth with us these things become a sacred, tactile touchpoint. Saying goodbye and boxing those things literally away is beyond comprehension.

I am thinking of you tonight. I hope at some point you will be able to close the doors downstairs and say goodnight without feeling the pain I know you are right now. Sending love 🐾❤️

I'm so so sorry , I can't say anything that will help but the biggest hug because I know how losing mine hurt like hell x you're allowed to feel this way too xxx

I am just so very sorry for your loss OP and for the other posters trying to deal with the loss of a much loved pet.

It is really awful and it hurts so much. I wish I could say something to help but she died, as she lived, with the people she loved and who loved her.💐

My beloved cat died aged 9 of a terrible cancer. It’s the most awful feeling ever. The grief was indescribable. I’m 4 years on from it now and I’m just managing to process it. I lost my mother recently and although traumatic, the grief was nowhere near as bad or intense.

I totally understand you op and I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s terrible.

Please don’t feel like you shouldn’t get another dog if that’s what you want. You’re never replacing your beloved dog. You’ve just got room in your heart to love another dog. Why wait? My mum waited, as she thought people might judge her for doing it early. Her beloved lab died of liver failure age 8, they had no idea anything was wrong until 2wks before. My mum said she felt worse than after her husband (my dad) died. And I get it. I really do. Just so heartbreaking and they eventually got a puppy, going from a yellow lab to a basset hound. She’s brought the house back to live again, like only a dog can. Your beloved dog will remain in your heart forever, do what feels right for you. And so what anyone else might thinks.

So sorry for your loss. My dog received a terminal diagnosis a couple of weeks ago - we’re trying to enjoy what little time we have. The pain of losing a beloved pet is very real and painful and how you feel is completely understandable. Take care xx

@peloton2024 how
gorgeous your two kitties are! I too believe in reincarnation.
OP, thinking of you today. They are such a big part of our lives.

I'm so, so sorry. There's no pain quite like it. I lost my soul dog in September and it absolutely destroyed me, so my heart truly goes out to you.

Just coming back to thank all of you. The kindness and understanding of the replies has meant so much to me. I am so grateful. I have people here, but they truly don't get it, but then they were not with her almost every hour of the day.
Curtainsforus I'm sorry.
And to all of us, who have loved and said goodbye to the dear furry faces, I'm sorry too. But I guess, like me, if you had the chance, you'd do it all again.

Yes, you will have another, I’m sure there’s another little soul somewhere waiting for all that love you have. The lost ones never leave your heart, they just budge up a bit to make room for the new one. My heart is very well occupied after so many.🙂

My dad , a long time dog person sadly gone, always used to say that everyone was put on this Earth to learn to be a good soul before they leave. That’s why dogs don’t live as long as humans, they’re good souls right from the start so have little to learn.

Thinking of you, there will come a time when the good memories outnumber the guilt, I promise but it takes a while.

Im so sorry. I'm welling up just reading your thread because I have felt what you are feeling. Even now, years later, it still makes me cry thinking about my beautiful dog. I've lost other pets and grieved for them but losing her was like losing a best friend ( I have endured that too). Time will help you live with the loss but, please, just cry if you need to.
I have always thought of the Richard Adam's quote "my heart has joined the thousand, for my friend stopped running today".
All the best.

Don't feel guilty for wanting another dog. We adopted a new rescue dog just under a month after losing our boy. I just wasn't coping - I work from home and was on my own 11 hours a day in a silent house and I was going mad. In some ways it was too soon but I wouldn't be without her now.

Like others I'm so very sorry to hear this.

I know how much pain you are in but please dint feel guilty about wanting another dog, we lost our beautiful chocolate labrador at 10 from cancer during covid, we were heartbroken. Just weeks later we got a beautiful black lab who has a completely different personality and he makes us smile. He will never replace our girl but I think folk have enough love to go round, and we will never forget her. Huge hugs

I’m so very sorry 🐾💔