My dog has died

[Namechangedforshame]

she was only 9. She had cancer. I don't know how long she was masking the pain of it, but when we realised the vet said no hope, do it very soon. So that happened, 36 hours later, here in our living room. She knew she was dying. She kissed us both goodbye, and then lay down where she used to lie, by my feet, and let it happen.
I have never felt such grief. Not with parents, friends, other pets. Not when I lost a baby early. (This is why I changed my name.) I don't know what to do with it all. She was the thing I loved most in the world and in the end, I couldn't help her.
There's no one in the real world I can tell about this last month. So I'm writing it here.

Oh Op, I lost my cat in October 2022. Broke my heart 💔 still have two cats but she was such a loving, carry her around type. Sometimes I swear I see her go by !

So sorry for your loss , we grieve over our pets as we love them like family 🌈💔☹️

I'm so sorry.
I can very much sympathise as we had to say to say goodbye to our lovely little girl nearly 2 weeks ago. It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. She was my soul dog. We understood each other and when she died, I felt that a part of me died with her.
I don't have any words to make you feel better, but try to take some comfort in that she knew you loved her, and were with her till the very end. You did everything you could.

I'm sorry Rainbow1612 I wish I could think of one thing to say to make it better.

Sorry for your loss

To put of bit of contect into this: I would never keep a dog as I would not have the time to look after it as a family memeber

I hated going into homes to complete assemsnets that had dogs that people could not control etc or not kept well and in a dirty house

However, via 30 years of community work I'd be to thousands of homes with dogs and I know for a fact that a dog is more loyal, loving and caring that most humans and they would never cheat on you

I really am sorry for your loss, OP. Easier said than done, time will heal but try to remember the lovely times, the enjoyment etc

I bet your dog felt as privileged as you did

Take care

I don't know, but I think I'm going to try and talk to her vet. She'd seen her less than 3 weeks before for annual health check and vaccinations and to check a UTI she'd had antibiotics for had cleared up (it had). I remember the vet saying she was like a new dog. And 3 weeks later she was dead.

Sitting here beside my beautiful doggo and the tears are tripping down my face.
I understand OP and it was one of the reasons I've put off getting a dog for so long, in fact she's only 3 and I'm already devastated thinking about life without her
Dogs are pure beings, we don't deserve them, they bless our lives in ways we can't actually understand until they're gone.
I'll give my girl an extra squeeze tonight in memory of your girl, there is absolutely no shame in how you feel, she was your best friend, your shadow, she loved you with no strings attached for her whole entire life.
I like to think heaven for pet owners is separate to the non-pet people, and we get to live in eternity with our family and furbabes ❤️

@Namechangedforshame i am
so very very sorry for your loss 🩷 losing a pet is a very different type of pain and please take comfort in the fact she chose to go in her favourite place with her favourite people surrounded by love.

wishing her a safe journey over the rainbow bridge x

I had to have my 16 year old collie PTS in November. She was so so old, and so tired, but she was my soul and I miss her every day. I see labradors and go to cross the road because she always hated them. I drop a bit of food on the floor and for a brief second pause for her to get it before I remember. Yours sounds a home that needs a dog, and there is a dog out there needing a home.

@Namechangedforshame please don't feel shame ❤️ I've had two MMCs recently, and I've also lost dogs in the past and by god I can understand. It's not a comparison, the grief is different and it's absolutely okay to feel how you feel.

A dog is a very much lived part of your life. They provide a comfort that many humans can't provide, and they leave a gap, like something is always missing.

What is grief though, if not love persevering xx

I'm really sorry, you will get through this over time. Remember the time you shared.

Oh OP, come and sit down with me here and we’ll share our grief together. I’m so so sorry, I completely feel your pain. I lost my beautiful girl five weeks ago, she was ten years old and it was completely unexpected. We don’t know what caused it - a brain aneurysm or stroke we think, and she had to be pts as an emergency call out. We are still reeling, but the pain is starting to get easier. I miss her so much. My beautiful girl was the sweetest-natured darling and such a huge part of our lives. Take all the time in the world to grieve, don’t rush the process. Cry, cry some more, and let the tears flow. Don’t rush anything, and be kind to yourself. Sending much love 💐

It's not wicked at all.

My old vet used to say, "get another, it'll keep you sane, help you heal and your previous dog really wouldn't mind"

Go easy on yourself, she was loved 💖

I'm convinced they do
I adopted another cat after my boy went
My first boy was a tiny weirdo black cat
He sent me a giant weirdo black cat

One of the things he always did was sniff at a visiting cats bum and pull a face of "stinky"
My new cat met visiting cat, sniffed his bum and pulled the exact same face

New boy/old boy

Oh op, you've made me cry. My precious, funny, beautiful boy went to sleep in my arms here at home in November. I still can't look at photos. It was worse than losing my parents and a best friend. Lots of people don't understand. Gradually there will be longer between the feeling of being hit by a train but, yes, it hurts so badly. In the following weeks I was amazed at how many people I met said they'd got another soon after and I couldn't think of anything else to ease my pain. As if by magic, 3 weeks later, an unwanted pup living in awful conditions came to my attention and I took him in exchange for a few Xmas presents for the 4 children. He's been a great distraction but he has big shoes to fill. I am slowly falling in love with him, we are together every minute of the day. If your heart is calling out for another dog, get one. Sending love.

I am so very sorry for you. I completely agree that it is the worst pain ever. You are not alone.

What a shock after getting a green light at her health check :(

my cat died August last year. I don’t think you need to analyse grief on a scale of less/more. It’s just shit and it’s different to human death but it’s not a more/less thing. I cried for days and days. I still miss her lots and find myself scrolling through hundreds of adored photos of her when I’m alone . Only yesterday my partner accidentally knocked the door in a way that was reminiscent of her scratching to come in and my heart just sunk.

my advice is not to rush to get another animal. As you will resent them for a while for being the wrong dog. Wait until you’ve got the mental space to welcome a new companion for who they are.

I can also say for me the guilt gets better. I really felt like I let her down by not realising how poorly she was and at first I felt so guilty every time I thought of her but 7 months on I am now starting to believe I did the best I could with the information I had at the time.

I understand. We lost our dog around the same time as lovely FIL died and having witnessed both (peaceful) deaths, DH confessed quietly in the deep of night that the loss of our dog was the one weighing harder on him. My heart broke for him as I could hear how hard it was to admit but I also felt the same.
2 years on, we’ve yet to get another dog but our hearts and minds are open to the possibility.
My thoughts are with you.

If getting another dog feels like the right thing to do please go ahead and don't feel guilty for doing so.

A few days after we lost our girl we visited a local rescue, I wasn't sure if it would feel right but we were really struggling with the lack of routine.

We could never just replace our lovely girl but we have a loving home and our new little dog needed a home. She's really lovely and is helping us heal one day at a time.

I lost one in 2016. He was nine and we’d had him from nine weeks. I was in pieces. You don’t forget but holding it gets lighter. 💐

And I want another dog. Which feels wicked.

It's completely natural and what she would have wanted you to do. Dogs, and humans, have an infinite capacity to love so follow your instincts.

I’m another one who understands OP. My partner would too, as would my late parents back in the day. Lots of people feel as you do about the loss of beloved pets. Please don’t berate yourself.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I know.

Just that really. I know. And so sadly do many others on here.

It doesn’t matter who you love or what you love. Grief is personal to us all and we feel what we feel. You don’t have to excuse, minimise or explain.

It gets easier and with time, you will start to smile more than cry, remember with fondness and happiness instead of an ache, be thankful for the love you knew rather than the love you have lost.

And if you want another pet in your life? Do so. Love is not finite and the love will still be there but just different.

As Nurse Phyllis said in Call the Midwife…

”If I may, the pain it costs - to love? I believe it is always worth it.”

And it is. 🌻

It’s such a sore raw grief I’m so sorry

dogs are so sweet and loving without question

it’s so so sad and I’m really sorry, it’s heartbreaking

remember the good times and also when they were naughty dingbats

I'm so sorry . I lost my best boy to cancer in May so feel your pain .

I am so sorry losing a pet holds a special kind of grief and pain that none of us pet owners can't understand