Did you know how many DC you wanted before you had any?

[Superduperuper]

Pregnant with baby no.1 and thinking about being one and done. There’s a number of reasons but house size, finances, time, energy and resources are all up there. We just think at this moment in time we could focus on one much better. That is just us being pragmatic.

Everyone says we will change our mind when baby is here and that we’ll want more when they’re older. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve always dreamed of becoming parents and are so excited - but does that really mean we need to do it multiple times?

Did you know how many DC you wanted before you experienced being a parent and did it change?

I had no idea. I didn’t want kids, then I wanted 1, had 1, then wanted 2. It’s just been about seeing how I feel at the time, it’s impossible to tell in advance really.

4 and had 4.

I knew my first would be my only, for financial reasons and because my husband has older children. I would have loved more - ideally one of each but we have a great relationship with the 3 of us.

I had the number we thought we'd like, plus one more. It just felt right.

I always wanted four but we stopped at two for financial reasons. No regrets - they are both wonderful adults and we had lovely times together as a family. Instead of more children I had a great career.

Wanted 3.
Had 2 and decided we were done.
Now wish we’d gone for 3.

Yes, I originally wanted 5 as I come from a big family myself, but I had 3 miscarriages before my kids arrived, so I was very grateful to have any at all.

Given the physical and emotional toll of the miscarriages, we decided to lower our goal to 4 kids, but would re-evaluate if we had more losses.

So far we have been lucky; we have 2DC and I’m 11 weeks pregnant with no. 3.

I have a couple of friends who are 1 and done after realising how hard parenting and labour/ pregnancy are. I can’t say I blame them, I think you have to really really want kids to put yourself through it.

I wanted none 😂 then after Dd shocked me by turning a pregnancy test positive after a night of (far too much) wine I have one.

Shes 7 now, no more children for me.

I wanted two but could only physically cope with one even though I had a very easy pregancy and quiet calm baby.

I wanted 4 but due to finances and horrible pregnancies I decided I was done after 2.

3 and I had 3.

I came from a big family, so I knew I wanted no more than 2 - as a kid I was fed up of having to be the ones in the mini-bus instead of a normal car, never getting any time alone, or having enough money or going on holiday because everything is so much harder when there's loads of you.

2 before kids- and 2 and done because I am very close to my sister and lost our parents young, so I know the value of a sibling. Never liked children enough to think a bigger family than that. 2 always made sense to me

I’ve always wanted 3 or 4, even as a child.
We had 3. I never even considered another once I’d had 3.

Wanted 2, had 2.

Wanted none but DH wanted some so had 3

Well when I was very young and met DH I thought I probably didn't want any at all.

Few years down the line gradually changed my mind and thought I'd want at least 2 for sibling relationships.

Had #1, very difficult pregnancy, birth, and baby! Thought I still wanted a sibling for them eventually but probably not more than that.

Had #2, weirdly felt broody immediately and knew I wanted at least one more deep down but put it off for a little while because of concerns over whether logistically/financially etc it would be the right thing to do.

Now pregnant with #3 so we will see. But assume this will be our last for financial reasons really. Otherwise I think even despite my awful pregnancies and births I could probably happily have 5 if I had the financial resources but unfortunately we don't.

I always wanted to have children and fortunately so did my husband. We used to talk blithely about how lovely it would be to have four. We had our first and had no doubt whatsoever that we would want another one. We did have a second child, 19 months after the first one. It didn't take long for me to decide that was plenty, and I've never regretted that decision. My husband was happy for it to be my call so we stopped at two and it worked out well. Four kids sounded like fun and an Enid Blyton story, but the reality of family life made me realise it's hard work and it's better to do a reasonable job with two children (or one, or wherever your limit falls) than be constantly tired and broke and not doing a good job as parents at all.

Never planned or expected anything, seemed pointless when you cannot control or predict pregnancy! Same as you though, expecting #1 - I'm totally neutral about doing it again. I had a rough first trimester and can't imagine doing that whilst looking after a child!

I wanted 4.
Dh said no more than 3 because more than that doesn't fit in a normal car 😆

I sort of agreed with three, but thought I'd persuade him when the time came to have a fourth.
But when it came to it, I knew I was done and didn't want another.

I wanted 4. After years of fertility struggles and several painful losses we have 2 and there won't be any more. We are lucky and I'm so grateful but I'll always be a bit sad about it.

I wanted 6, I had 4. The last pregnancy was hard, and money house etc. I did say for a few years I'd still have two more if we won the lottery and could hire a surrogate and buy a bigger house.
Not anymore though, I'm very much done and looking forward to the next stage in life

I would have liked 2 but I have 1. DH had 2 already and whilst happy to have another, he was done after that. In practical terms, 4 would have been v hard financially and logistically due to age gaps so I know it was the right thing really but still wish he would've changed his mind.

I wanted 3 and had 2.

After having 2, it was pretty clear to me that I was at my limit in terms if the care I could provide (DS1 was very high needs).

A couple of years after having the second, I did dither slightly about having a 3rd, and so did DH. I told him he would have to step up his parenting a lot more if I was even going to consider a 3rd. Then we had our little nephew (also quite high needs) to stay for a few days. After that DH never suggested having a 3rd again!

I don't regret not having a 3rd. There wouldn't have been enough of me to go round.

I always wanted 2, I have 1 and we'd like another but it's not happened so far. I'd actually love a whole tribe but house size / finances wouldn't allow it.