Did you know how many DC you wanted before you had any?

[Superduperuper]

Pregnant with baby no.1 and thinking about being one and done. There’s a number of reasons but house size, finances, time, energy and resources are all up there. We just think at this moment in time we could focus on one much better. That is just us being pragmatic.

Everyone says we will change our mind when baby is here and that we’ll want more when they’re older. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve always dreamed of becoming parents and are so excited - but does that really mean we need to do it multiple times?

Did you know how many DC you wanted before you experienced being a parent and did it change?

Oh give over. Done what to your children? Had enough money to give them everything? Had enough time to give them your undivided attention? Had enough energy and space in your life to ensure they never have to want for anything?

Such a nasty thing to say, especially when plenty of parents can’t have more children due to infertility or only have one due to child death.

I hope you’re not raising your many children with this attitude.

We wanted 3, had 4 pregnancies and have 2 DC.

I sometimes wish I'd only had 1, I would have been able to escape my abusive marriage much sooner and life's a lot easier to manage with just one. But of course, I wouldn't be without all of my children now. I wanted to stop at 2, but then I ended up with four.

We wanted at least 2, maybe 3, have 2 and are done, it just never felt like the right time for a 3rd but I don't think I completely felt like I was done until youngest was about 4. I have never regretted not having a 3rd.
I know someone who was dead set on having 4 but have stopped after 2 when reality kicked in. I also know someone who had 2 but took 10 years to get rid of her baby stuff because she never quite let go of the idea of having more.
It's a very personal decision and you probably won't know for sure that you only want one until after your baby is here.

Thanks @Queijo

@LeviOsaNotLeviosaa Actually I grew up in a family with multiple children and it isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Never getting your parents undivided attention, not having the opportunities afforded to my child etc. I actually loved the few years I was an only!

Also, like most parents my life actually revolves around my child, not the other way about - I am not taking her to Nobu and the Opera. She has been on multiple child friendly holidays and I spend most weekends at soft play, parties, swimming, ballet...

Like most rational people I believe that there is not one answer to how many kids should you have! One is right for me but never did I say it was for anyone else. I can honestly say I would be miserable with more children, I like not having to divide my time. I like saying yes most of the time. But that's just me.

Both my husband and I wanted 2-3 kids. We had two kids and debated a third but decided that two was best for us .

Wanted three, possibly four.

Had three. I think a fourth would've broken me!

DH got the snip when DC3 was a year old to remove all temptation to go for number 4.

Wanted 4. Have 2 and pregnant with no.3, not sure if we'll have a 4th. We will see how first year with three goes!