Help with grammar please, every line is expensive !

[CheckMyGrammarPlease]

Hi I've name changed for privacy but I would really appreciate some help with the wording of an entry in a book of Remembrance

Basically this is what I've got so far (obv I've changed some of the details )

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Jones, David

1/1/1955 - 3/3/2024

Enjoy endless rides on your beloved Delta and wait for the next release from the Imaginary Number Crumpets.

Inserted by : his children Julia, David and Bethany and their mother , Susan

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Am I missing a comma / full stop etc . Have I missed a capital letter ?

Should the band name be in quotes ?

This thing gets hand written with, I presume, some sort of quill, so I need to get this right !!!

thanks

yeah , I think I'm overthinking it now, just what it to be "right" its on special paper and gold leaf an all !!!!

Sorry - explanation was just to cover you if anyone said you had it wrong! Lots of options and choices are fine here.

Your last version is perfect and it sounds as if it will look beautiful.

Thank you @unnumber
I think I would have had to pay good money for all your advice !

If anyone finds fault with it, send them our way :)

You’ve written 1st January 1966 but your previous posts say 1/1/1955.

@somptuosité
Thank you for noticing the difference but they are made up dates anyway .