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Original poster

how many missing people do you know of in real life?

417 replies

notnowmarmaduke · 03/04/2024 19:56

Just wondered - we are always saying how common it is, but how many of us know many missing people? Of course you might be closely associated with a missing person and not know it, as people don't necessarily talk about it, or might just not know themselves.

I have only known two people reported as missing, long term. one friends father, who was the classic went out for a pint of milk and was never seen again. ( 30+ years now). One runaway teen never found (15+ years)

Apart from that I have known a few runaway teens who were found, and two people reported as missing who I know went into witness protection

Also, have you ever been reported missing?

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 04/04/2024 09:28

My youngest son.

Original poster
notnowmarmaduke · 04/04/2024 09:29

XelaM · 04/04/2024 07:29

In Soviet Russia, my grandfather's step-father was a very prominent university professor who was an outspoken critic of the Stalin regime. He was actually a high profile political activist from the "old guard" of Bolsheviks who was very passionate and idealistic about the original ideals of communism. He was invited to a meeting with party leaders to discuss his views. He was very excited about the meeting, prepared for it at length and put on his best suit that morning. He walked out of the house and has never been seen again (presumed executed).

can you tell us his name? I feel like such a brave and hopeful man should have his name remembered

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 04/04/2024 09:31

My cousin... No idea if she's dead or alive but didn't come to her dad's funeral, her sisters or my nanas.

No social media presence.. all very sad. Don't think my nana ever got over it.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 04/04/2024 09:31

i dont know her but a young girl in next street when to shop and never came back. they dug up the land next to my house but didnt find anything

JosiePosey · 04/04/2024 09:33

One. My sister. Walked out one day and never came back. Left her kids behind.

Original poster
notnowmarmaduke · 04/04/2024 09:34

tennesseewhiskey1 · 04/04/2024 08:01

I know 3 in total. 2 were found in the Thames eventually and one was found after 5 years. Mum had a friend who’s child was kidnapped for over 20 years then found begging on the streets later in a foreign country - believed to have been kidnapped by a gang then trafficked.

As a foster carer I was occassionally given trafficked children, trafficked into UK to work in cannabis industry - they were clearly missing from their families in their countries or origin. I hope they were identified and returned, I don't know though. They would normally arrive in the night after police raids, and then be collected by social services a day or two later. Often I never knew their names or ages, they were tiny, and didn't speak English. Didn't know what a bed was for.

OP posts:
Ohmych · 04/04/2024 09:35

There's been two in my home town. The first was over 20 years ago he was early 20s and went on a lads holiday and vanished after leaving a pub. There's been no sight of him since then.

The other one went missing at a rave and was missing for a few weeks before being found sadly dead.

Passthepickle · 04/04/2024 09:35

I forgot another from dh’s cousin who dropped contact with his parents and brother and vanished. Was drinking heavily but working but when the job ended no one knew where he went. Parents now dead and no info on him at all. He was a very sweet person, much more so than his family.

romdowa · 04/04/2024 09:38

I know a few.
A local guy went missing on a stag abroad a few years back , he was found 5 days later. He'd lost his wallet and phone and hadn't thought to go to the police.
Another lady in our town was missing for 2 weeks and eventually they found her inside the heding on her property, she had gone in there and took her own life.

Longlongtimeagooo · 04/04/2024 09:46

When I was at high school, the librarian's daughter (who I didn't know) was missing for about a week. Her body was then found about a week later at the bottom of a cliff, she'd committed suicide. Very sad.

terceira · 04/04/2024 09:49

So sorry for those who have lost someone close, or who have had to run from abusive family etc.

One.

I worked for a company where a colleague from a different office went missing. I didn't know her but a couple of my colleagues did and were very upset. She was Bangladeshi and it was thought that she had been back to Bangladesh for a visit and forced into marriage. I don't know if there was any evidence for that or if the company just assumed it because she was Bangladeshi. All I know is that she didn't give notice and she just didn't turn up for work when she was due back from leave. I think the company reported it to the police but I don't know what happened, probably nothing much. I think about her sometimes and wonder whether she is ok and whether she is allowed to work. She was good at her job and really enjoyed it apparently.

Simonjt · 04/04/2024 10:13

notnowmarmaduke · 04/04/2024 09:06

what was the outcome? Was she found?

Show quote history

I don’t know really, her brother would send us all an email on her birthday every year, they stopped about seven years ago (uni ended 2008). Googling her name doesn’t bring anything up. She had an extremely controlling girlfriend who was prone to fits to extreme anger, so we always wondered if she was involved.

AliceMcK · 04/04/2024 10:13

ARichtGoodDram · 04/04/2024 08:42

I’ve been reported missing numerous times. The police eventually gave my brother a warning for wasting their time. Not wanting contact is not the same as missing.

I never ever share any missing posts except official police ones on social media. And often share the police post saying about only giving information about people to the police rather than random people online when I see other people doing the whole “A woman that looks a bit like that is staying in a flat at 1 The Road. Always different people staying there every week! Always women as well” as people really do not think!

Absolutely agree with this. I only ever share official missing reports. It’s so easy for abusers to track their victims down on social media with “good intentioned” people spotting the missing victims.

Humdingerydoo · 04/04/2024 10:14

One colleague went missing 10 years ago and was never found. My childhood friend's nephew went missing a few months ago and was found dead last week. Absolutely heartbreaking.

Bookworm1111 · 04/04/2024 10:19

My uncle, in the Seventies. He was in his late teens. He stole the takings of the shop he worked in and disappeared to London. I was only four at the time but years later I found out the family never reported him missing, presumably because they didn't want him to be arrested. My dad once heard he was being treated for mental illness in Camden but we never found out if it was true. Then about fifteen years ago I was walking down Oxford Street and I passed a man who was my dad's spitting image. I thought it was him and went to wave! We stared at each other – I am the spitting image of my mum, therefore his SIL – then the man legged it. I'm certain it was my uncle. I thought about going after him but there was a reason he never contacted the family again so I left it. I was just happy that he looked fit and well.

KreedKafer · 04/04/2024 10:20

I don't know anyone who is still missing, but my sister went missing for a few days once.

KTSl1964 · 04/04/2024 10:26

Oldtinhat- that must be devastating. 🌺

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/04/2024 10:27

A 20-something Canadian relation of dh disappeared while travelling in SE Asia. One of his parents was of Chinese ethnicity, and sadly the family were told that even if it had been found, not much trouble would be taken with a dead body that appeared to be local, if there was no ID on him. It was assumed that he was murdered for his money/passport etc. That was over 20 years ago - his parents died without ever knowing what had happened to him. 😰

Lauraa7 · 04/04/2024 10:35

A family friends son went missing, police appeal done with my dads friend. The son was found in the local river a few weeks later.

CosmosQueen · 04/04/2024 10:36

I worked with a lovely lady whose son went missing in northwest India in 1996. He was a university student and had gone out there for a holiday.
His parents went out there for many years looking for him, putting up posters etc but never found out what happened.
It must be completely devastating for everyone involved.

InferiorDesign · 04/04/2024 10:39

I knew of one, professionally.

She went missing as a teen and a huge hunt ensued - many many years later she was found; sadly she was the victim of a serial killer.

It was such a tragedy.

PoppyAndViva · 04/04/2024 10:45

CosmosQueen · 04/04/2024 10:36

I worked with a lovely lady whose son went missing in northwest India in 1996. He was a university student and had gone out there for a holiday.
His parents went out there for many years looking for him, putting up posters etc but never found out what happened.
It must be completely devastating for everyone involved.

We grew up with that family and are still close. I don't know how they've managed to carry on.

hobocock · 04/04/2024 10:46

A distant cousin walked out on his wife and young children and wasn't seen for years. He simply disappeared. It caused no end of heartache.
He showed up 10 years later at his dad's place said his dad was to blame for the entire thing because he had been far too hard on him growing up and he couldn't cope anymore. Then he disappeared into the ether once more and was never heard from again.

Sharontheodopolodous · 04/04/2024 10:47

My ex and father to ds

He was the sort of bloke who would say 'see you on friday' and disappear for 18 months,pop back up and would refuse to talk about the 'missing' time

We'd broken up and he'd walked away from ds-saw him when he could be bothered and didn't pay anything

He pooped up,wanted contact again (I couldnt refuse) and all was well for about 3 months-he didn't miss a contact

I thought he had turned a new leaf,all good etc

I asked about his family and he said they where all good and told a few stories which sounded normal

He came round,took ds to the park came in for a coffee,said his goodbyes and ds waved him off to the end of the street

He got to the corner,turned,waved and disappeared

That was 8 years ago

I was on fb about two years ago when his picture popped up-his brother was begging for help,saying he'd not been seen for 13 years and could anyone help find him?

They think he's just had enough and walked away

I agree

He has psychopathic traits and wouldn't think twice about it-if he felt he didn't want to live his life,he'd walk away and change who he is and move on,leaving everyone from his old life behind without a thought-we are dead to him

LuluBlakey1 · 04/04/2024 10:54

My dad's brother went to Australia and went missing in the 1960s. My dad and his siblings tried everything to find him but he was never found. He had a wife and 4 children- stoney silence from the wife when his family were trying to find him. Salvation Army tried too but nothing. There were all kinds of rumours. My grandparents were very upset. My dad and his parents and siblings are all dead now but I discovered recently his brother was alive for at least 20 years living in New South Wales and then in Darwin - he had another child but seems to have left that relationship too. He is most likely dead now.