If you had the money to, would you send your children to private school?

[lomp]

And why?

I would say no but it does depend on the child and the school. My DD has a learning disability and if she needed private provision to meet her needs then I would. Luckily she is in a great state SEND place as we couldn’t afford it anyway! My boys with no SEND however are in a great state primary and doing really well. Their school provides a lot of opportunities and they are doing well academically so I definitely wouldn’t move them at this point even with the money.

Absolutely. Who doesn’t want the best for their children..? Difference in upbringing and intelligence means there will always be a level of inequality amongst students; as a teacher I can do something about that, as a parent it would be completely pointless making my kids go to a rough Comprehensive based on moral principle.

Would you stay in a rough area, uneven though you could afford to move to a leafy suburb?

If your child was struggling and you could afford a tutor, would you not get one because it would give your child an unfair advantage over their peers?

If your child was sick and you could afford to pay for the latest treatment, would you not use your money to ‘buy them’ better health care and preferential treatment?

As parents, we want the best for our children, to pretend otherwise framed as ‘faux morality’ is ridiculous. At the end of the day, we all constantly ‘buy’ advantages and a better quality of life. The only people who seem to get cross about it, are those who can’t afford all of the advantages that others can.

I never said I was against private schools; I just don’t think they are necessary or worth the additional money when in a good catchment.

Agree. I wouldn’t rule it out if the state option sub standard but if it’s good and we are involved parents for us it’s not worth the expense.

I do but have mixed feelings. Academically there is not much difference I think; but in terms of facilities and other opportunities it is night and day. That tips the balance away from the state. I agree though that in terms of exams there is not much difference. Private schools have always been good at making a very average student shine, and a very good one excellent.

Private schools have a better environment better discipline more opportunities i went to state school as did my children I work in private education and they are worlds apart for some of these reasons

No I 100% agree, we send DD private. However you see many times PP stating that they are morally against private schools but can't see the hypocrisy of then moving houses to an area with good schools!

Absolutely not! I fundamentally disagree with private schools and think education for ALL should be equal, including university! Pisses me right off that those MPs who got grants voted to then bring in tuition fees!

This always seem to be overlooked.

If we won the lottery tomorrow - be unlikely to get a place in one good school catchment area in time for youngest now - we could possible still do private or huge number of tutors.

We don't have the cash so it us firefighting gaps cause by lack of subject teachers or just really bad ones - it's incredibly frustrating knowing she'd likely do so much better at different school with so much less extra effort we are all putting in. Our council apparently spends some of the lowest sums per pupil in country and that's reflected in the results.

If you're so against inequality the least of your problems is the person working hard and paying taxes. Start with directing your gripe at the royal family who do no work, pay no taxes and quite frankly never have to worry about their child's earning capabilities to sustain a livelihood!
Work, pay your taxes and spend your money to buy the house you wish, the education you desire and the food you want. Stop laying claim on the money taxpayers spend on educating their children which is from the remainder after contributing to state education.

My PIL paid for my SILs girls to go to a private school with an absurdly old fashioned uniform. We were told they were very bright and so needed private education. My MIL was genuinely bemused when our bright boys went to Cambridge from the local comp. The granddaughters who were independently educated did fine but but certainly not Red Brick or Russell Group.

Its as if Oxbridge takes no notice of the high standard of the uniform!
TBF my MIL did not go to university and had no real idea of the process. She was surprised when I pointed out that the great majority of students from Oxbridge are state educated.
I think there are a lot of people who think the same as my MIL.

Have done a mix. Really good state with a MC cohort vs decent private are not that different in my experience . They all ended up at the same unis doing the same courses and are now doing the same internships and grad schemes. I def have friends who are considering if it was a good use of their money.

DS- most of his time at secondary it was in special measures - he still did well at GCSE and doing well enough at college A-level to consider oxford. School very nearly fucked up his GCSE for him and it was home support that got him though - though with two subjects with no teacher for most of the course were much lower.

My DDs seem worse affected by lower expectation and class disruption - and harder to help at home.

So it's not that I'm unaware pupil get in to Oxbridge from state schools - DH was put off but my State secondary sent some every year.

I couldn't give a stuff about uniform - it's dealing with the reality of just how bad the state sector is here and how low DC school dropped to.

The state sector has wide quality variation in it - if you have good quality state then private may well be unnecessary if your options are shit - then it looks bloody good.

Someone started a thread a few days ago upset her daughter was being taught about crucifixion.
It was a prevalent common punishment during the Roman Empire. If people want their children to see how other live and choose non private educated to show them best to let the children really see how much people suffered if not connected to the powerful when there was little justice in the world.

Yes, where I moved from was a grammar school area. But even the non-grammar schools were full of professional parents. Private tutoring, activities, very little behavioural problems. Especially after a lot of people from Hong Kong moved in they are very strict with their children and expect good results!
Several off to Oxbridge every year.
Where I live currently is the 'nice' bit of an otherwise deprived area. The schools are more mixed I'd say, there's quite a bit of bullying and low-level disruption depending on the set. 2 went to Oxbridge last year and it made all the local newspapers, there were congratulatory posts on FB for months. It was a BIG deal.
A small 2 bed terrace with no parking in the first area cost more than my 3 bed semi with garden and driveway.

A house in the former not only would be cheaper than private school for multiple children but will be an investment that holds its value. I know that people say no point in moving for 'good' schools as they can change so much, but IMO an MC area tends to remain so. Especially when there are clear reasons. That region (South Manchester) has always been richer, good connections to Manchester, work etc it's unlikely to go downhill.

I trust your child regularly volunteers at food banks, homeless charities and asylum clinics. Although these in the UK are amongst the best in the world.
So I'm sure their holidays are spent in Russia, Ukraine, Africa and the middle East volunteering and see how those left to the mercy of govt really live.

No - had a terrible experience with ds on a full
bursary it was disgusting he was treated so badly we moved him to a state school

We’re considering private secondary for our dds but only because I work there and get a discount. There’s no way we could afford it otherwise and it will mean a lot of sacrifices as it is. But we live in a deprived area and the local state schools really aren’t good. Dd1 would probably be ok as she’s bright and motivated and she is doing really well at her state primary but she would also love all the opportunities offered by my private school. The nearest grammar schools are over 30 mins away and we’re well outside of catchment. To move closer will cost more than the discounted fees and also move us further from my mum who helps with childcare and who might need help herself in the future.

Possibly. Depends on the child. Both of my DC were academically able to pass the 11+ and went to our local grammar school. Their education has been more rigorous and less disruptive than the local private schools.
If my DC did not pass the 11+ we were prepared to pay for private secondary school as our local comprehensive is abysmal.

we considered private schooling for my son and decided against it. He did very well in the local academy and came away with straight A’s at nat 5, higher and advanced higher level. Now studying at a prestigious university. He says himself now he is so glad he didn’t go to a private school, he has had the benefit of mixing with peers from a wide range of social backgrounds and additional needs. Not to say his school was perfect but overall has provided him with opportunities, fantastic teachers who went above and beyond for him and we are so proud of how grounded he is. His siblings are having a similar experience at the same local high school.

Yes, and we did for both DD's at primary and secondary. We didn't get our first choice for primary, were offered an unacceptable alternative, so went private, and it just went from there.

In our case in two different schools, both highly selective, you also got a wide range of varied subjects, no restriction on numbers or types of exams, free choice, and lots of other additional options, either for exam, or just fun.

The teachers had flexibility in what they taught and how they taught it, and they did a lot of work off syllabus.

So I don't agree with pp's that the education is no better, because that is just not true.

We could have easily afforded private school but chose not to because we have excellent grammar schools and very academic, sporty DC. It would have been a total waste of money in our situation. DC are now on very competitive courses at top universities and are still enjoying playing their sports at a high level.

Yes of course I would. Why would I let my child down by not providing them a genuine educational and social advantage that’s within my reach?

@twistyizzy really quite a number.

No school age children so hypothetical for me. Maybe a day school in certain circumstances, but never a boarding school (aka open prison in my view).

This is also my experience regarding the academic side of things. My kids went to state schools but I have friends who sent their kids to academic privates. If a kid did well in yr 6 SATS, they did well at A Level regardless of the type of school they went to.