What one-pot buffet dish can I make for extremely fussy guests

[unconditional83]

Got family coming over and there are 8 of them. They are all very conservative / unhealthy in what they usually eat, and so I've no idea what to make. It will need to be buffet style / lap food due to lack of space.

Was thinking of making one pot of something hot with salads. But every time I think of something I feel like they won't like it. We eat very healthy and fresh food often spicy and lots of plants. They usually eat really bland and UHP stuff, basically the very worst of "British" food and the reason NHS is on its knees but don't get me started freezer food, virtually no veg, and for special occasions Christmas they have things like Iceland "party food", crisps, pork pies etc.

What can I make that's healthy and tasty which they don't turn their nose up. I don't want to buy the crappy UHP they would choose as I don't ever eat that stuff and nor do my DC, but at the same time I want to make something everyone enjoys.

"I just mean it's not the day one would expect a roast lamb dinner."

Easter Monday is a biggie, definitely roast dinner territory here!

Have any of the suggestions grabbed you so far OP? What's wrong with pie?

You can easily recreate frozen ready meals you know they eat into cooked from scratch version.
Or serve grilled chicken drumsticks with something instead of nuggets.
Or do pizza by yourself.
Your list gives enough insight to feed people for three pays, not one fucking meal.

"Go to Waitrose or M&S and buy some of their premium buffet stuff."

Or Iceland. It's exactly the same as half of the Waitrose stuff

I know, but OP has her face set against Iceland.

Some people have more money than sense. What can you do?

Waitrose or m and s stuff is probably the worst of both worlds. It's still upfs so the op won't want to eat them and the guests might not like them either.

I've managed to eat a pasty on the tube (albeit slightly messily with the crumbs). Presumably OP could give them plates, though.

@unconditional83 what does UHP stand for please?

Finally, someone else who actually reads instead of just writing "how about a cheese board and carrot sticks?"

Not read many pps but every one likes a chicken roast with roasties and you could do mixed roast veg with some peas as green veg. - everyone eats peas.
Trifle pudding.

Make nicer versions of the stuff they like to eat? Home made chicken nuggets, wedges, etc.

"I think I'll make some pizzas from scratch and serve with salads. Hopefully they'll eat the pizza."*
*
But you said they don't eat cheese

No, not everyone clearly.

@PiggieWig Me. I loathe sausages and bacon.

Onions? I bet they won’t eat onions either 🫣😂😂.

Seriously though, it’s not hard to make any version of the Iceland crap they eat and leave them to it.

Use event as chance to ask them what their cholesterol level are and how they can get heart attack with no veg etc. (Chicken is low cholesterol ).

Under your circumstances I’d probably make a pasta bake - it’s usually a hit with fussy kids (I’m guessing it might work for fussy grown ups as well). Enjoy your lunch!

Just give them what they want, it sounds cheap and easy and you can make something that you'll eat as well. It's not your job to change their diets, or to judge tbh.

Ultra high processed food. Often abbreviated to UPF. Defined as food made with ingredients you wouldn't find in a home kitchen. Not really novel, as people have been saying since the 1970s if not earlier that many food additives are not a good idea.

To be fair, if you are accusing people of not reading the OP's posts when they suggest stew, paella, etc, she does ask in the thread title for 'one pot buffet' suggestions. I still think beef stew and dumplings fits the criteria. But <shrug> I guess beige stuff would be better received. I think if it were me and the stew was too much of a risk, I would probably do burgers in a bun or hotdogs (but that's pork again!) Anyway, nothing that required too much effort as there is nothing so soul destroying as going to a lot of effort that is ultimately not appreciated.

Beige! Not brown.

Also @unconditional83 the term is UPF not UHP

Chicken curry, Nasi Goreng, pasta and meatballs or good old Scottish Stovies.

It doesn't. Being nasty and judging people for it does.

I'm well aware that many people on MN reply to a few words from the thread title and don't even read the full OP! I also know you can't filter the OP's posts on the app, which is bizarre, as that's so easy and useful on the web version.

Completely agree with your last sentence.