What one-pot buffet dish can I make for extremely fussy guests

[unconditional83]

Got family coming over and there are 8 of them. They are all very conservative / unhealthy in what they usually eat, and so I've no idea what to make. It will need to be buffet style / lap food due to lack of space.

Was thinking of making one pot of something hot with salads. But every time I think of something I feel like they won't like it. We eat very healthy and fresh food often spicy and lots of plants. They usually eat really bland and UHP stuff, basically the very worst of "British" food and the reason NHS is on its knees but don't get me started freezer food, virtually no veg, and for special occasions Christmas they have things like Iceland "party food", crisps, pork pies etc.

What can I make that's healthy and tasty which they don't turn their nose up. I don't want to buy the crappy UHP they would choose as I don't ever eat that stuff and nor do my DC, but at the same time I want to make something everyone enjoys.

Recently had pulled pork at a gathering, so you can cook the pork from fresh, make the sauce which is sweet so they will like it, then have coleslaw and salad. Not much UPF but hopefully all will like. You can have both white and brown bread rolls also and people can make their own sandwiches.

TBH as a host (who doesn't like packaged stuff much either!), I'd suck it up for one day and order in pizza and give the adults whatever you know they usually eat. It will make the day far more pleasant all round, and you will not be worried about whether they will eat it or turn their noses up.

One meal won't kill you OP or anyone for that matter.

Pulled pork? Stick it in the slow cooker, burger buns, big tub of coleslaw (or make your own), selection of sauces and ketchups, some cheese options for those who want it, corn on the cob (accept some will just leave it), chips. It’s a meal everyone can have.

you can do a pulled jackfruit version for you if you fancy having a vegan option.

Why don’t you simply ask them what they’d like? Then serve a nice quality or homemade version?

Was going to suggest this too. I did a slow cooker pulled pork in a bbq sauce so super easy. Then served it with coleslaw and brioche buns (but can have other rolls too obviously). Went down really well with everyone. Put that alongside your salad and some potato wedges.

Haha!

Yes I agree about their health. I don't understand why it's normalised in this country to do so much damage to your health through eating UHP and crap daily. This is not the case in other European countries. I do think our collective terrible diet culture is responsible for a lot of problems and costs the UK dearly. I think it should be ok to say that, in the same way I can point out that regular high drinking, or smoking is bad for one's health and has a knock on effect.

I think I'll make some pizzas from scratch and serve with salads. Hopefully they'll eat the pizza.

Just do a table of the food you know they actually like and then add dishes that you and your children like. That's the beauty of a buffet, the variety. It's not rocket science. If they would really like Iceland food as a treat then buy it for them and make them happy. You want your guests to enjoy themselves don't you? Don't be an arsehole about it.
Alternatively, your guests could go hungry and you'll be throwing out kilos of superseed salad and lentil curry because noone will eat it.

Whose asking you too?
What about pasties and peas they always seem to down well
My local well known in the area traditional pasties shop sell frozen baked pasties in bags of six

They never eat fish, or cheese, or vegetables.

I would just offer what you want. They can eat delicious food for once. It won’t kill them.

I know some people don't eat fish or many vegetables, but cheese? No, this has got to be a wind up 😂

Out of interest OP, what would you serve at the buffet if you didn't have to consider your guests love of beige food?

Honestly, they are the most fussy restrictive eaters. I'm not joking. They won't even drink water.

'I don't understand why it's normalised in this country to do so much damage to your health through eating UHP and crap daily. This is not the case in other European countries."

This is simply not true, the rise in UPFs is a global phenomenon. Go round a French supermarket and it is absolutely rammed with UPFs. 47% of French adults are overweight or obese.

Also it needs to be lap food so I'm not sure Cornish pasty will work.

If it's not a sit down meal, it's more sensible to do finger food. You can do carrot and celery fingers for the ones who like their veg, sausages/sausage rolls, mini pasties made with (bought) puff pastry meat or veg. cheese and biscuits. Variety of cooked meat and french bread. Bowls of crisps or other nibbles. Grapes. A good mixture of healthy and not so much, but good quality and something for everyone.

When you say lap food are you saying they won't have a table to eat off? 😕 If that's the case, then surely it needs to be something they can eat with their hands!

• Chicken drumsticks with a crumb coating or sticky coating, but with foil on the bone so people can hold them
• Burgers
• Skewers of meat/veg
• Pizza

Why couldn’t you eat a Cornish pasty if you’re not round a table?!

I don't know. I guess I imagine a massive pasty to be rather a messy meal!

Just get normal size pasties than

Sausage baguettes - you can make them from scratch if that makes you feel better

Can't you just shove some pizzas in the oven?

Its not a well known fact that miners used to have tablecloths, napkins and cutlery down in the middle of the earth. It wasn't considered very manly so was hushed up.

OP - stop being so dismissive and nasty regarding bland versus spicy food. If I eat anything spicy I am in physical pain for a minimum of 24 hours. Lots of people can't digest onion or garlic. Either try asking what they would like or stop hosting.

I’d google slow cooker recipes so you could hurl a chicken and potatoes in the slow cooker with some stock and risoni and herbs and walk away and leave it and come back later with some garlic bread. Variations on a theme. Boer Bourgignon. (Cut the mushrooms up very, very small so they basically disappear. They’ll never know.)

What toppings will you put on your posh pizza? And cheese on top?