What one-pot buffet dish can I make for extremely fussy guests

[unconditional83]

Got family coming over and there are 8 of them. They are all very conservative / unhealthy in what they usually eat, and so I've no idea what to make. It will need to be buffet style / lap food due to lack of space.

Was thinking of making one pot of something hot with salads. But every time I think of something I feel like they won't like it. We eat very healthy and fresh food often spicy and lots of plants. They usually eat really bland and UHP stuff, basically the very worst of "British" food and the reason NHS is on its knees but don't get me started freezer food, virtually no veg, and for special occasions Christmas they have things like Iceland "party food", crisps, pork pies etc.

What can I make that's healthy and tasty which they don't turn their nose up. I don't want to buy the crappy UHP they would choose as I don't ever eat that stuff and nor do my DC, but at the same time I want to make something everyone enjoys.

Smoked haddock & boiled eggs with parsley with mild curry powder is considered to be a fairly safe menu option. On par with coronation chicken - rather retro in fact!

I mean this genuinely but are you being sarcastic because I would say smoked fish, boiled eggs and even curry would come out towards the top of a list of foods fussy eaters don’t like.

The OP has explained in detail what her relatives don't eat. Spicy food and fish are both mentioned and they eat few vegetables (so my kedgeree which contains onion, mushrooms, peas and parsley, would be a problem). I'd be surprised if they're OK with smoked fish. Some very traditional eaters won't even try rice.

I would go a tray full of great sausages, baked. Another tray with sweated onions covered with whole cherry tomatoes and thyme, also baked. Great bread. Mustard. Mayonnaise. Dressed rocket for those that are fancy. You can also throw some apples in with the sausages

Fussy people would likely moan or even not eat the sausages because they're different to what they're used to. Likewise the bread if it's 'good' bread and not pappy hot dog rolls. And not touch the veg or salad.

I have relatives like this. You see what they've chosen from a buffet and it's all beige - white bread, breaded things, pastry, burgers, sausages, crisps. Maybe cheese if it's boring enough. But never any veg or salad, won't eat meat or fish if there's bones or shells. Won't eat blue cheese (fair enough, I don't like that) or anything like Brie so pretty much stick to burger cheese or mild cheddar/maybe red Leicester or similar.

They sound like the kind of people who actively prefer Richmond sausages (who actually market the bland taste and texture and lack of 'meatiness' as a selling point) over better quality ones.

Get two slow cookers (maybe borrow them) put a chicken in one and another joint in the other, whatever is cheap.

Set out bread rolls, salads, coleslaw, some beige stuff and let them serve themselves.

For bland, beige fussy/ sensitive eaters it's best to go buffet style so that you boost the chance of providing some foods they like. Put some salad and nicer things like cheeses in the mix so you can have some foods you like too.

One-pot is a high risk strategy. Too easy to get the taste/ texture wrong and many people of this preference don't like foods mixed together and one wrong ingrediant can make the whole meal inedible to them. I made this mistake a couple of times with extended family as I thought that they liked "traditional" so did things like casseroles. They actually like plain and dry. I don't cook proper meals for them as I can't bring myself to "ruin" good food to match their tastes. Much easier to put a buffet out on the worktop and let everyone choose what they like. That will work better for eating off laps too.

Ditto for DIY or naice end of beige. Often they like the homogenous, smooth texture and won't cope with the horror of encountering a whole chunk of chicken breast pretending to be a nugget.

Roll with what they'll eat and make sure there's something appetising to you there. One meal is not going to redeem or destroy anyone's health.

My NC in-laws can’t hack thyme and rosemary in their meals, let alone spice so there are people like that.

rotisserie chicken, some buns and store bought coleslaw and some bag salad if they are so inclined

A humongous pot of old fashioned ‘potato hash’ - Northern English family food. Diced beef, onions, potatoes ( and some people add a chopped carrot). An old fashioned recipe for old fashioned people 😊.
If you want my recipe, please ask. 😀

Sorry, haven't read everything, lasagne is my usual dish for people with limited things they will eat, perhaps with a nice cheesy macaroni cheese. Maybe do some pieces of chicken in breadcrumbs to for the really fussy amongst them. It won't hurt you or your family if you don't get your healthy meals for once.

Yes, sounds good. But why don't you go with your original plan and do some pizzas too, you don't need to make them, get the better supermarket ones?

I would just make a chilli and put a load of options out alongside for people to plate up their own bowls:
rice
jacket potatoes
sour cream
guacamole
jalapenos
beans
grated cheese
lettuce
garlic bread
tortillas
coriander
chopped red onion
coleslaw

Maybe make some easy chicken drum sticks too for anyone who won’t eat red meat.

That chicken cari recipe from a post yesterday sounded wonderful. I think it would fit the bill.

Sandwich bar - bread from plastic white to sourdough, butter and marge to add your own or not, roast chicken, mild cheddar and plain ham, some mayo and salad cream and some salad bits and everyone can build their own sandwich as they see fit. Bowls of crisps, nuts and popcorn. Mini rolls and mr Kipling slices for pudding. Easy and relatively cheap if you cut up a roast chicken and grate your own cheese.

You could make your own chicken goujons - it doesn't have to be processed. You could also make healthy-ish skin on potato wedges with paprika etc. and various salads. All foods they would recognise but still catering to your needs too.

Sausage plait. My mam used to make it.

Make them what they enjoy eating and ditch the superiority complex.

You've pressed a lot of buttons here, OP! I'm on your side completely. People get very defensive about eating crap but they don't mind taking the piss out of healthy eaters, that's perfectly ok apparently. What they need to understand is that people eating UPFs and refusing to move their fat butts off their couches ARE clogging up the NHS and the old people's homes once they all get dementia and put in care. Ok - I am now running for cover. Lol.

You can't go wrong with a spag bol or lasagne, served with salad(s) and crusty bread or bruschetta. (prepared in advance, thoroughly defrosted and re-heated on the day)
You can also do a pan fried chicken casserole dish as an alternative choice, if you add a potato dish. (mostly prepared the day before)
Or do indoor oven-cooked bbq food, with salads and beans.
And make sure any desserts like cheesecake or eton mess are definitely prepared in advance - or eton mess assembled in 10min on the day using homecooked meringe.

I'm a healthy eater but I make my invited guests food that I know they'll enjoy eating.

Chilli with rice and nachos (salsa / sour cream)

Mild chilli con carne or cottage pie

Rice with the chilli and garlic bread

Aw this is such a family favourite in my house! I make it all the time. I make a marmite and cheese one, a red onion chutney one, pork and apple... and obvs plain sausage meat ones

My kids love it, and I always make two and send one down to my in laws too because my FIL is always over the moon to be able to eat it for dinner and then take slices of it for his lunch pack up for the next few days!

Sounds lovely. The OP's guests wouldn't touch any of it.