What one-pot buffet dish can I make for extremely fussy guests

[unconditional83]

Got family coming over and there are 8 of them. They are all very conservative / unhealthy in what they usually eat, and so I've no idea what to make. It will need to be buffet style / lap food due to lack of space.

Was thinking of making one pot of something hot with salads. But every time I think of something I feel like they won't like it. We eat very healthy and fresh food often spicy and lots of plants. They usually eat really bland and UHP stuff, basically the very worst of "British" food and the reason NHS is on its knees but don't get me started freezer food, virtually no veg, and for special occasions Christmas they have things like Iceland "party food", crisps, pork pies etc.

What can I make that's healthy and tasty which they don't turn their nose up. I don't want to buy the crappy UHP they would choose as I don't ever eat that stuff and nor do my DC, but at the same time I want to make something everyone enjoys.

Hey OP, I know you’ve already decided but just for future ref - skinless, boneless chicken thighs (cheap cut) do much the same job when cooked low and slow and then shredded with forks and very popular with “don’t eat pork” people.

I do mine with soy sauce, tamarind paste, honey and a bit of chicken stock. People love it. I don’t mention the tamarind because it makes fussy folk baulk.

I would go for variety rather than a one pot dish. A butches pork pie? Or you can make sausage rolls. What do they eat from Iceland? Prawns? Samosas? Quiches? A lot of those can be home made too.

Chilli with rice, wraps, salad, cheese, nachos or bolognaise with pasta, salad, garlic bread, cheese.

I think hotdogs is a good idea. You can buy good quality sausages, make potato wedges and some other nice sides for those that want them, like corn on the cob and salad.

How about something like roasted chicken thighs, marinated in some oil and paprika and herbs, roasted new pots and some salads?

Well I was trying to find a balance between OPs level of uph sainthood and the guests requirements.

My AFRID nephew eats my lovely organic home made ones but then I also eat macdonalds one because whilst I can be a bit of a upf snob when doing my own grocery shopping I don't make it anyone else's business or problem and will happily get fully involved in any amount "party food" or whatever - I think life is about balance and I am always about accommodating fussy eaters, guests and making my guests feel comfortable and not judged or belittled.

Oh, absolutely bravo 🤌🏼

Jacket Spuds
Cheese
Tuna
Baked Beans
Pot of beef stew
Something chicken based, home made fillets on breadcrumbs?
Fruit salad/trifle/ice cream or
Homemade crumble and Custard?

Sausage casserole, made with 98% pork sausages, soffrito & peppers ?
You might like it as well !

This has to be a wind up . All eight of your family have exactly the same likes and dislikes regarding food and none of them will drink water ?!

Your opening post is derogatory and scathing of them .

Sounds delicious but I avoid stewy stuff with fussy eaters. It’s the hidden stuff and not knowing exactly what’s what they don’t like ime.

Roast pork and apple sauce/stuffing rolls with salad/coleslaw sides, maybe some new potatoes/wedges?

Sorry just saw no pork…

steak baguettes?

I've done noodles with various toppings. If people want butter & parmesan they can have that, but you can also have red sauce, pesto, some meatballs or grilled chicken, and some grilled veggies. Farfalle is a good pasta for lap-eating.

@Blueberrycreampie - do you have a good Coq au Vin recipe please. I’ve never been very impressed with the ones I’ve tried .

Can't believe how much "foreign muck" has been suggested by well-meaning posters.
I'm sure there's a compromise somewhere, but I'm leaning towards a mix of dishes of healthy food & beige/UPF food.

I know. The OP said that these people ate hardly anything. No veg, no cheese, no spice, nothing 'foreign'.

Yet people keep suggesting macaroni cheese, chilli, paella.

Do you believe that though?

Even if this thread is real

I bet there is a handful of people in this country who genuinely do not eat anything with vegetables in it, nothing with any kind of spice at all (bearing in mind that involves vanilla, any miniscule bit of garlic powder or paprika in the ingredients for that beige food, doesnt eat the mildest chilli con carne, which doesnt have to be hot spicy or overly flavoured, doesnt eat anything italian (ie pizza)

I simply dont believe it. All 8 of them?

I am not being snobby here, just stating facts before anyone has a go.

I have a cousin who fits this description tbf but she does eat potatoes - mainly in chip form though, occasionally mash. Wondering if she even likes vanilla as she doesn’t like custard and isn’t an icecream person. Her kids are the same. They will only go on holiday to a resort with Irish bars and British pub grub. If I was hosting, I’d prob go for real chips, I’d try to find gammon steaks (haven’t seen one in ages!) and do a fried egg. Maybe peas for the table but I think they’d be wasted tbh. Absolutely no pineapple for the gammon - too exotic!

gammon steaks are readily available in supermarkets, even Waitrose.

Plus most pubs, from Wetherspoons to naice gastropubs.

I prob don’t see them as I don’t eat pork!

But it doesn't mean it's something that you have to 'try to find' as if it doesn't exist any more.

That's like me saying 'do supermarkets still sell nappies and tampons', I haven't seen them for years, because I'm childfree and post menopause so have no need for either.

But I'm not sure that gammon, egg and chips fits the OPs brief of being suitable for eating on laps on the sofa due to the lack of sufficient space at a table.

OP and others - I have not read the whole thread, only as far as the first few pages. I have to cook supper. Apologies to all if I'm overstating the obvious.

But
(a) Iceland do fabulous and very cheap frozen raspberries and other frozen fruit. Also their frozen veg (green beans, little peas etc) are very good and a real bargain. Their plain frozen fish is good also - no additives - and they often have bargain packs of fresh apples, carrots, onions, potatoes etc that are 'real' and very good value.

(b) I often have to cook for a dear friend who is extremely intelligent but still has very definite likes and dislikes. What goes down well - as others have suggested - are the following. All can be served with lots and lots of green salad for those others who like it and good bread and perhaps 'naice' cheese - I make granary bread - and plain salted butter :

• sausages. These can be as wholesome as you like. Oven bake with/without onions, as your guests prefer
• bacon. I just roast oven trays of it - welfare friendly/organic.
• Potato wedges/oven chips - homemade are the nicest. Lots and lots of them. Perhaps with a dip - sour cream and chopped onion is easy to do at home. No additives involved.
• Perhaps even plus: potato salad. Homemade. (Friend will eat it with chopped apples added and chives on top but some might not. Again, I use Hellmans but thinned down a tad with apple cider vinegar.)
• Plain sliced ham. Cold.
• Garlic bread - make your own if you like
• Rolls. Find out what the guests prefer, if possible. They may well not be to your taste, but it's only for one meal.
• Coleslaw. For heaven's sake not with yoghurt but full fat and homemade with mostly Hellmans mayo - a bit of that is not going to kill anyone - and perhaps chopped spring onions. Finely chopped as possible, so as not to stir up sensory issues. I would seriously consider buying this (get supermarket premium variety) - you and your family don't have to eat it.
• I find my friend likes raw carrot batons, red pepper strips, mini tomatoes and mini gherkins if they are not 'signposted' to them and will actually eat quite a lot of these rather absent mindedly. You could add - for self-selection for your family - all sorts of other tasty things: sliced avocados, olives, radishes, celery etc etc etc
• Am a vegetarian but I've yet to find any meat-eater who did not like roast chicken. Ideally hot.
• Probaby plain tomato ketchup - nothing too bad there - plus whatever sauces your guests say they like. Am out of touch re those. People will eat a lot if the right sauce is on top.

Puddings:
*Any sort of crumble with cream; perhaps apple the least risky. Or perhaps just homemade apple pie. Really simple, with crisp light pastry and lots of fruit.
*Any sort of homemade cake/gateau with cream - Iceland rapsberries are great for this sort of thing
*Ice cream, as posh/wholesome as you like but no wierd flavours. Plain vanilla best.
I usually serve blueberries/grapes/strawberries in season as well so that those who like fresh fruit can have those as well.

If fruit is really out of the question for your guests, then perhaps Nigella's chocolate olive oil cake (https://www.nigella.com/recipes/chocolate-olive-oil-cake (it's rather like a brownie, so you could describe it as that) . And cream/ice cream. Any leftovers - I've never known that to happen - then it freezes really well.

Best of luck, and many apologies if I'm repeating earlier suggestions.

Yes, I dont say these people dont exist at all, I just dont think its likely that its as hard as OP was making out (if true) that theres nothing she can feed them except for pork pies (hold the pork!!!)

Most beige or Iceland crap as she puts it, is going to involve stuff like spring rolls, onion bajhi type things, southern fried chicken strips etc etc