Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DS can't find a job. What about the gap now?

94 replies

Candleab · 27/03/2024 11:40

DS is 19. Had a very bad time mental health wise, all managed at home as GP was useless and he's a bloke so wouldn't engage (private therapy)
Our family suffered a very stressful time whilst he was at college, a really bad event.

He left college at the end of his first year with no As levels.

He got a job which he enjoyed for a while but the environment wasn't great and so he lined up another job through a friend and handed his notice in.

The job fell through.

This was in November of last year.

He's been applying but just got nowhere.

Just retail jobs, customer service etc... But the previous job wa sin a completely different field so he has no retail experience.

It's been months now and I'm on disability benefits and I didn't want him to be in benefits so I've just been funding him out of my money but turns out I've been paying extra rent every month because he's a non dependant and was still down as working. My rents gone up.

I don't know what to do, he has been applying. I've sat with him many times whilst he sends off applications but nothing. Not even an interview.

He has no friends. He doesn't leave the house.

I'm just so worried and now there's a big gap in his employment too on his limited CV.

I'm scared his mental health is going down hill again.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Original poster
Candleab · 27/03/2024 11:48

I don't want him to go on UC but would they help him find a job? Would they be able to help him get some retail experience? Or experience on something to get his foot in the door?

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 27/03/2024 11:51

Feel for you both.

Has he tried McDonalds? Our youngest has been there for nearly 3 years now whilst studying and it’s been a really positive experience. Great employer, very flexible and fair and he works with a lovely group of people, all ages and backgrounds.

2dogsandabudgie · 27/03/2024 11:52

What about an apprenticeship? I know it's rubbish money for the 1st year but there is every possibility of a full time job afterwards. This is what one of my teenagers did.

Ellsternell · 27/03/2024 11:52

Does he want to go to university? He could apply to an access to higher education course in a local college. You don’t need a levels for them and can be over age 18! I’d get him on UC in the meantime, there’s no shame in it to bridge a gap.

Coldupnorth87 · 27/03/2024 11:53

Some volunteering would be good.

I keep getting adverts for help back to work government schemes.

But really he needs to apply for UC & get in the system.

He'll be at home forever otherwise, failure to launch is a definite thing.

I have a friend who's looked after her DH for a couple of decades, after a period of poor mh. Won't get help but enabling him means he's now helpless.

Original poster
Candleab · 27/03/2024 11:56

Ellsternell · 27/03/2024 11:52

Does he want to go to university? He could apply to an access to higher education course in a local college. You don’t need a levels for them and can be over age 18! I’d get him on UC in the meantime, there’s no shame in it to bridge a gap.

No. He wanted out of education as soon as he could really. He found the social aspect of it overwhelming.

OP posts:
ASighMadeOfStone · 27/03/2024 11:57

Even if his area isn't retail- it would show that he's willing to do something. He'll receive training and learn life skills.

When I finished university (languages) I waited for 3 years to be called for the graduate training scheme in the area I went on to work in. I worked in WH Smith as a shop assistant in that time.

In short: anything is better than nothing, and employers will look at CV gaps.

Original poster
Candleab · 27/03/2024 11:57

2dogsandabudgie · 27/03/2024 11:52

What about an apprenticeship? I know it's rubbish money for the 1st year but there is every possibility of a full time job afterwards. This is what one of my teenagers did.

Yes I've looked but are they available for 19 yo?

I don't know how to help him/where to look.

I feel like I'm failing him by being clueless.

We're in Manchester if anyone has any info.

OP posts:
NCForQuestions · 27/03/2024 11:58

Start by getting him on benefits. You both need the income.

Then he will also be able to access programmes to help him with his CV, improve skillset etc. Could he go back to college? Evenings classes?

If he's worked before you need to look at transferable skills from that job which can translate into other roles - punctuality, listening skills, following instructions, giving instructions, dealing with complaints or adverse incidents in the workplace, using his initiative, ability to learn, working under pressure or at pace... Doesn't have to be the same industry!

Original poster
Candleab · 27/03/2024 11:58

ASighMadeOfStone · 27/03/2024 11:57

Even if his area isn't retail- it would show that he's willing to do something. He'll receive training and learn life skills.

When I finished university (languages) I waited for 3 years to be called for the graduate training scheme in the area I went on to work in. I worked in WH Smith as a shop assistant in that time.

In short: anything is better than nothing, and employers will look at CV gaps.

He's been applying for retail jobs since November with not even 1 interview

OP posts:
beAsensible1 · 27/03/2024 11:58

can he go down to the job centre to get some support?

Dacadactyl · 27/03/2024 11:58

Your council should have an employment and skills team and they will support 16-24 year olds who aren't in employment, education or training. Contact them for help and advice.

beAsensible1 · 27/03/2024 12:00

Also as someone who employs people all the time. I do not care about small gaps, especially if it’s for retail roles etc

November till now is fine.

NCForQuestions · 27/03/2024 12:00

Candleab · 27/03/2024 11:58

He's been applying for retail jobs since November with not even 1 interview

Show quote history

Are you seeing the applications? Do you think he's doing a good job of selling himself? Or is it filled with poorly written examples which don't match up with the job or person specification?

He needs to speak to the Job Centre about getting into employment and how best to go about it by the sounds of it. Or pop into places like pubs, clubs, restaurants, bars and speak to them in person to ask about work. Have a one page CV available if they want one, but in person recruitment is still a thing in the hospitality industry.

Original poster
Candleab · 27/03/2024 12:01

I don't really know. I've not done a CV in years, I feel like I'm no help to him at all.

I feel embarrassed myself tbh.

OP posts:
TomeTome · 27/03/2024 12:01

He should apply for UC (on line, interview at jobcentre the following week ish). They will help him find work and check in on him which is really helpful if he’s been looking for a while. Work will pick up soon.

Original poster
Candleab · 27/03/2024 12:02

He's a very shy boy. He's not confident at all in himself. Which is a shame because he is lovely and smart. He's just very down :(

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 27/03/2024 12:04

He needs to apply for UC and he can get so much help to find a job. It's not feasible to use your benefits for such an extended amount of time especially if rents gone up. Hope he finds something soon🤞

Ryegait · 27/03/2024 12:10

It's tough out there for youngsters trying to get work.

@Candleab - could he look into volunteering to get some skills? I don't know Manchester at all but I've just done a quick Google and have seen there's a volunteer cafe - looks interesting

https://manchestercommunitycentral.org/volunteer-centre-manchester/view-opportunities/7099

Milk & Honey Cafe Volunteers | Manchester Community Central

https://manchestercommunitycentral.org/volunteer-centre-manchester/view-opportunities/7099

NCForQuestions · 27/03/2024 12:12

Candleab · 27/03/2024 12:01

I don't really know. I've not done a CV in years, I feel like I'm no help to him at all.

I feel embarrassed myself tbh.

This isn't about you, it's about him. Employers don't really want someone's mum doing the application process for them...

Sign him up to UC today. Look for your nearest job centre and go visit it together. That's a good start.

Dacadactyl · 27/03/2024 12:13

Also the national careers centre can help

Original poster
Candleab · 27/03/2024 12:18

NCForQuestions · 27/03/2024 12:12

This isn't about you, it's about him. Employers don't really want someone's mum doing the application process for them...

Sign him up to UC today. Look for your nearest job centre and go visit it together. That's a good start.

Show quote history

That was in response to someone asking me what his CV is like, if it's upto standard.

I'm not doing anything for him.

I was simply stating I'm not employed or done a CV in years so I'm not much help to him 🤔

OP posts:
YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 27/03/2024 12:20

I work in employability support and I hope the following is helpful:

Sign up for UC, so that he is covering the non-dependant deduction and is able to make some contribution. They will ask him to come into the Job Centre, but whether they offer help is another story for another day!
Princes Trust is brilliant - it is about those first steps, soft employment skills, working with others, volunteering and they are totally geared up for those that struggle with confidence. Hopefully you have a Teams Programme running locally and I have referred many a young person and they love it!
Are you in housing association accommodation, as they often have dedicated teams to help and your son is not alone in how he is feeling and the difficulties of getting into a workplace and, they place more people into work and training than the agencies being heavily funded by the government.
Apprenticeships - no age limit, but Maths / English at C / 4 is the entry. Check out the Gov Apprenticeship site.
NEET support varies from area to area and the funding has been decimated, but worth a shout out to the local authority or speaking to someone in the NEET Team, again local authority to see what training programmes are available.
Volunteering - use your local voluntary association and small steps, so building confidence, getting used to being at a venue, working with others, will help build his CV.

I hope this helps.

WaltzingWaters · 27/03/2024 12:24

Has he applied for any care roles? Working with people with special needs perhaps? I work in this sector and there are lots of young lads who are brilliant in these roles and really great with the lads they care for, it doesn’t have to be a long term job and there’s always loads of care roles around.