I just got called deranged and/or evil?

[SheepAndSword]

It's by a friend, he suddenly quit his job moved to London a few hours away and intentionally went street homeless. No drugs or alcohol, detachment from possessions, deeply religious.

He's apparently reading a passage from the bible for me at church tomorrow and quoted it.

I can't think what I said, in my last email I asked him about practicalities and said to apply for UC using the church address as he has no income now, and to see a doctor. He did say Jesus was homeless and I said but you're not Jesus.

Is it best to take a step back from this? He won't like whatever I say. I'm not religious. I felt like snapping at him to read more Darwin.

Cut the connection. Why bother with someone this daft? Just block him.

Sounds like a mental health crisis.

Definitely a mental health crisis.
Best keep your distance for now.

He sounds very unwell. You won’t be able to support him in any meaningful way until he has treatment. Unfortunately suggesting a doctor is probably enough to get you put on the ‘evil’ list. I had the same with a delusional friend.

@Menomeno yes I think so, I know he used to be on PIP. That's nothing to be ashamed about but he did say his old boss was discriminatory against people with disabilities.

It's a hard subject to breach though. He keeps talking about music and religion and I'm asking about if he still has a bank card/phone/any money, is he warm and fed etc. So that makes me evil and deranged because I don't 'get it'.

Perhaps I'm attempting to impose my views too much and should let him be. All I know is that I'd be off to seek help faster than a ferret if I was in his position.

Oh no!! I'll try to take a step back and stop wondering if I can do anything to help.

Did your friend recover?

That’s the problem with mental illness. Often the sickest people will feel on top of the world. They won’t seek help because they don’t believe they need it. Could you contact the church he’s attending and see if they can step in? There’s not much more you can do to help, sadly.

exactly

Do you know which church he goes to? I think it would be worth contacting the priest there, or possibly the safeguarding officer and say how concerned you are. If he won't listen to you perhaps he will take notice of his priest telling time that being homeless isn't a goal in Christianity and God wants us to care for ourselves.

Sounds like my old mate who lurches from church to church to cult to church again depending on how unwell he is. He once sat singing his legs from a pulpit (old church, sturdy build) and self harmed while singing to Jesus who was there with him.... Actually, deliberate self harm in churches has been a theme.

He's been sectioned umpteen times for short periods but he's very intelligent and good at talking as though he's come through the current crisis and then he's back out unmedicated in five minutes and trying to convince us all that the apocalypse is imminent and only his followers will survive.

Needless to say most of us have distanced ourselves - we can't help him no matter much we want to. I really feel for his Dad who is a lovely man, but who tbh failed to get him any help as a teenager when he really needed it. Yes I know, I was there.

Friend is now in his 40s and there's really no solution. He keeps going to modern churches in backstreets and finding the next version of God with dodgy preachers asking him for money. At least he hasn't got money to give them I suppose.

@WaitingForSunnyDays no I wish I'd asked now - he got baptised and wanted me to go to London but it clashed with something else. I'll try to coax it out of him but seems like that's all I can do. He's 6'2" and looks like a Swiss hitchhiker so doesn't appear to be vulnerable to the outside eye. He sent me a pic and he's the most groomed homeless person I've ever seen.

@NCForQuestions yep this one is very intelligent as well, honours degree in mathematics at a good university (you know what I mean by good, well ranked)

Religion can really affect people who are prone to mental illness or psychosis. It sounds like he could be losing touch with reality. Also, is there any chance he could be autistic? Sometimes autistic people can become obsessed with their religion and take it to the farthest degree.

@SheepAndSword hey, detachment from possessions but he still has email contact??? what is that all about then?

He sounds very unwell

Oh he goes to the library. I'm surprised he keeps in contact with me since I'm such a heathen 😆

No he isn't well, I get the impression he has constant difficulty interpreting the world and is frustrated by it.

I emailed back and asked why I was deranged/evil, asked the name of the church where he was baptised recently and if he wanted me to visit London. I'm not sleeping rough though I'd be a miserable snappy fuvker if it was cold and wet.

I'm through with him for today.

Bipolar? He has the trademarks.
Not a lot you can do.

Not as far as I know. She cut out everyone who spotted she needed help. All I said was ‘maybe you ought to talk to the GP and tell them how anxious you are at the moment’ but I think the lucid bit of her knew then that I knew. She wasn’t really a friend - more someone I knew through an activity. She thought someone was leaving her messages in the newspaper crossword clues etc (very paranoid). Very sad.

A similar thing happened to me as to your friend, I lived on the street, gave away all possessions and was devoted to religion, and some unrelated strange beliefs. It was a mental health crisis and psychosis but I didn't know that. I felt on top of the world, euphoric. No one could have talked me down. My advice is to be on hand if he needs you (for emotional support) or if he decides he is ready to accept help, but until then it's best to distance yourself.

This is what he's apparently reading out for me at church tomorrow...

I dunno what he's on about, I never talk about boyfriends, wild nights out on the town or things I want to buy to him.

That's a standard prayer from the BCP.

He does sound unwell- if you can find out the church it might be worth speaking to them. It's not wrong to distance yourself.

@Theredfoxfliesatmidnight glad you got through it. I definitely need to downsize but not to that extent!

I'm speaking a different language to him at present, I don't want to analyse songs or talk about Jesus. My mind runs through practicalities like 'does he need me to send him a pop up tent and sleeping bag go to doctor go to council where do you eat and sleep do you have a phone and bank card, sign for UC'

I haven't even got onto ID, don't know if he has a passport

Could you be bipolar?

That's just the 'general confession' we used to say it at school chapel weekly iirc.