Awful mistake at work - totally panicking, please help

[triangles5]

I’ve made a dreadful mistake at work and am devastated. I’m in tears, feel very low and am having suicidal thoughts. I’ve been with the company for several years, adore my job, am hardworking and usually careful and diligent, but it was simply silly human error. I feel sick with fear as it’s going to cost the company a significant amount of money. I haven’t spoken or apologized to my managers yet as I was so upset and couldn’t face it. But they’re aware it has happened, we’re due to meet next week and it will obviously come up. I feel sick with fear that I’m going to be sacked. And if they don’t sack me (unlikely), they’ll never be able to rely on me again as it’ll always be in the back of their minds. I’m distraught and can’t think of anything else. I’ve let the company and worse, my kids (who rely on my income) down so badly. What can I possibly do from here?

Stop panicking. Own the mistake, say sorry and come up with solutions for how to fix it.

Aw OP go easy on yourself. You know - and the company know - you'd NEVER make the same mistake again. It's human error and it happens. As pp says, own it. And give yourself a break ❤️❤️❤️

There have been several very similar threads like this and the advice was always sit tight, see what the manager says, no one died and the company will have insurance.

Oh my love this sounds so hard - but listen, you're clearly full of adrenaline, absolutely panicking and just not able to think straight in this state. This means you're likely to be catastrophising and seeing the worst case scenario. You need to do something to bring down your hyperarousal first, some movement, a walk, some intense exercise, whatever it is that will calm you down physically.

Then you can come up with a plan. It's likely the uncertainty that is causing part of the problem so you need a plan to tell work what you've done and you will be able to work with them through all the consequences in a calm manner.

No one died, you are safe, and so are the people you love, normal life is still going on around you and I know you feel trapped in a bubble of fear but it will pass and change and you will be able to cope with what comes next. Take it step and by step, moment by moment and try not to focus on the worse case scenarios.
Sending a huge hug x

Oh gosh OP, its all going to be OK. We're all capable of making errors. You haven't let anyone down, these things happen. Both myself and DH have made mistakes in work, it's awful to go through but you come out the other side of it.

You haven't killed anyone.

I’m sorry this has happened and that you’re in a panic about it. Truthfully, honesty is the best policy and apologies go a long way. Do both. Apologise for the mistake. That it was an honest mistake. If asked his it happened, be truthful about it as can be used as a learning exercise both for you and the company. Being contrite goes a long way with management. Not being contrite could be viewed as arrogance or lack of care. You’re none of these.

What can I possibly do from here?

Many things ....all will be well

All I can say is that it may be ghastly now, but in time it will matter much less; in 100 years or sooner everyone involved will be dead and it won't matter at all.

I used to say to my team at work we are not nurses so no one had died. I made one mistake at work that cost money, it was about 2k. It did however show a massive issue with a procedure which was then changed completely.

I mean my boss made a shocking mistake it cost the place I worked for a couple of hundred thousand. I pointed it out, it was corrected and it had to be bought to the attention of the head of the institution, she wasn’t sacked but my God she hated me afterwards.

if your really worried give ACAS a ring if you are not in a union.

Exactly this. We would all feel awful because it’s human nature, but so is making mistakes, we all do it and it isn’t a foregone conclusion you’ll be sacked. If you’re in a union please speak to them. Of course they will trust you again.

What would you say to one of your colleagues who made the same mistake?

Would you say they should feel suicidal over an error at work? I'm sure you wouldn't, and actually you'd be reassuring them that it'll all come out in the wash. Work is work. Mistakes get made.

What you're saying to yourself and about yourself in your head is highly unlikely to be far more severe than anything that will actually happen in real life.

Take a deep breath and consider what you'd say to a colleague. Really, the reality is very different from how you currently feel so try to pause and think slowly and logically about what has happened and how it really will be fixed or dealt with.

What's actually happened?

OP, echoing everyone else, it's not as disastrous as you think it is; it's that sick panicky feeling making you lose your ability to see things clearly. Try to distract yourself as much as you can over the weekend rather than ruminating on it all the time and when you go in on Monday, speak to your manager as soon as they're free to apologise and then to discuss how to fix the issue - better still, if you can think of a change to procedure to avoid it happening again, suggest that too. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time but you're a good, hardworking employee so they're not going to sack you over one instance of human error.

I know it's easy for us to say don't worry, but you really must try. If your employer has anything about them, and this is your first error they will handle it appropriately

The first thing I say when one of my team makes a mistake is “be grateful you’re not a doctor - nobody died”.

It’s a shit feeling, and as you say it’s a silly human error. People make mistakes. If the company doesn’t have a process to catch mistakes then that’s a process issue, not an employee issue.

In your shoes, I’d identify what could be done to prevent the mistake happening again, hold your hands up, apologise, and suggest ways forward to make sure no one ever makes the same mistake.

All the other similar threads on here seem to have had a fairly positive outcome. You're probably catastrophising as there's nothing worse than your own internal voice telling you you're shit. You're really not though- you've been working there years with no issues and we're all human and as humans we make mistakes.

The absolute worst worst worst case scenario is that you'd be fired and then you'd get another job. But this is the absolute worst scenario. The most likely scenario I'd have thought would be perhaps a procedure change and extra training. As other's have said, no-one has died, and the company may well be insured anyway. I'm honestly so glad I'm not a surgeon as I'm like you @triangles5 and absolutely could not cope with the stress and worry that any mistake could ruin or end someone's life.

Someone I worked with made a hideous mistake.

She worked for a law firm and accidentally let an abusive man know where his victim had moved to.

She didn't get the sack and, thankfully, the victim was able to move again.

You need to own the mistake and speak to whoever you need to

We all make mistakes, it's how we handle them that's important

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Is this going to be one of those threads where the OP never comes back to say what actually happened?

I'n sorry you have this hanging over you, but you say you have been there a long time and are good at your job, so there is that.

Do apologise, but I would say try not to 'grovel' - as others have said, show that you understand why it happened, perhaps give ideas to prevent it happening again, ask if there's anything you can do to help sort things out. Think about focusing on solutions, not problems.

There's only 20 posts, bloody hell. Give the op some time. It doesn't cost anything to be kind.

It’s been less than an hour, have a word with yourself.

Some information would be useful.

When?
How?
What did you do?
How much money is involved?

. . . . .c.

Is there a change in process or procedure that would prevent it happening again?

Apologise for the error.
Explain how it happened.
Think about what you can do to stop it happening again and tell them how you’ll improve.

People don’t generally get sacked over one off, genuine mistakes that don’t have catastrophic consequences.