Awful mistake at work - totally panicking, please help

[triangles5]

I’ve made a dreadful mistake at work and am devastated. I’m in tears, feel very low and am having suicidal thoughts. I’ve been with the company for several years, adore my job, am hardworking and usually careful and diligent, but it was simply silly human error. I feel sick with fear as it’s going to cost the company a significant amount of money. I haven’t spoken or apologized to my managers yet as I was so upset and couldn’t face it. But they’re aware it has happened, we’re due to meet next week and it will obviously come up. I feel sick with fear that I’m going to be sacked. And if they don’t sack me (unlikely), they’ll never be able to rely on me again as it’ll always be in the back of their minds. I’m distraught and can’t think of anything else. I’ve let the company and worse, my kids (who rely on my income) down so badly. What can I possibly do from here?

Honestly this is not worth so much worry. You won’t be the first or last to make a mistake. The company can write it off against profits. I can guarantee your managers will not be thinking about it over the weekend. You will get through this.

I make mistakes all the time. I also do brilliant things all the time. I'm a human being. It all balances out.

There should be processes in place to reduce human error but because companies are now 'lean' (understaffed) there is too much pressure on individuals.

The fact that you feel this way about one mistake shows what a conscientious and careful employee you actually are. It's the opposite of the Dunning Kruger effect. People who are highly competent and analytical are also highly critical of themselves and punish themselves in excess of the crime. Please keep all of this in proportion.

I really feel for you OP. I was in this exact same situation a few months back and it was horrendous. I ended up having to take weeks off work and then resigned. I had to speak to a Councillor about it who said I was struggling with ptsd as I had triggers resulting in panic attacks.
To my managers credit she was actually fantastic about it, really understanding and really had my corner. She refused my resignation at first, but relented after I insisted a few days later. If you have a manager like mine you'll be absolutely fine.
I have moved on and got another job. My confidence is still very low, but I'm doing lots better. Things will get better OP, just hang on in there

I know it’s really hard not to panic, but don’t be so hard on yourself. You can never eliminate human error completely and even the most reliable employee can make a mistake. Say sorry, take ownership and show you know you’ve made a mistake and will put it right if possible or give solutions for how to avoid it again - extra checks, more diligence etc.

Everyone has made mistakes at work, don’t beat yourself up.

Oh OP. I’ve been there and it will be OK. It’s your managers job to work out why it happened but also to support & buffer you from heat.

Everyone makes mistakes. I’m sorry this is hanging over you over the weekend

Remember it's the 'child' you that is feeling all the fear, anxiety & worry. Be a kind loving parent in your mind to the 'child' part of yourself.

The 'adult' you will rationalise everything in time.

This thing happened but thoughts & feelings can be changed in a moment & you are in charge of that. Everything is temporary.

How much money are we talking? Processes can always be improved, most mistakes can be rectified unless someone died.

You’re definitely blowing this out of proportion and besides, everyone makes mistakes, it’s human nature, that’s why there should be some kind of control mechanism in place.

Don’t panic, it’s never as bad as you think. I’ve cost my company hundreds of thousands of pounds, mostly because I’m overworked.

But I’ve also saved them money and generated new money, so it evens out.

Please please call the Samaritans OP if you feel that low.

x x

Thanks very much for the support, it has helped. I will read through the comments properly later and try to take the advice on board. One thing I feel dreadful about is that I’ve let down my kids. If I lose this job we lose our income as a family and that is so frightening. All because of my stupid error.

Gosh, I'm sorry OP. We have ALL made mistakes at work, I promise!

If you need something to occupy you until Monday, try the Sophie Kinsella book 'the undomestic goddess'. It's about a young lawyer who makes a catastrophic mistake (costs millions of £s) and feels exactly like you, but it's all okay in the end.

I understand you're upset about the mistake but I think you need to look after number 1 - that's you! If you really believe you are going to be sacked then sort your CV out, looks at jobs on Linkedin/job sites and start to prepare what you want to do next. You'll feel better once you are in control of the situation with other options.

With work mistakes as long as you can identify what went wrong and go into the meeting with a plan for how to do a lessons learned to stop it happening again it should be fine. This won't be all on you. Your manager will also have to take some responsibility. Remember that and go I to the meeting in a ' what can we as a company do' attitude.

Oh I know that spinning panicky feeling and it's horrible OP. I've made mistakes in various jobs, some humdingers and all you can do is apologise and you know that it won't happen again.

I've also been a manager for many years and I'd hate any of my team to be going through what you are. If you have a number for your boss, drop a quick message to apologise for interrupting their weekend but that you can't function, eat, sleep or whatever as you're so upset by what happened and you couldn't wait until Monday to apologise.

People will disagree with that approach no doubt, but I can almost guarantee that your boss may be a bit miffed but they would not want you going through what you're going through and them not know about it.

All will be resolved in less than 48 hours. Whatever it is isn't the end of the world although I understand completely that it feels like that when you're in a spiral like this. It's an truly awful feeling.

You also must remember that they know you and know that you're good at your job and you're trustworthy. That doesn't just disappear because of one mistake.

Breathe slowly and deeply, don't do their thinking for them as you'll be much harder on yourself than they'll be! Find something to distract yourself. A wee binge of married at first sight Australia or some other chewing gum for the eyes might do the trick.

Keep in touch with the thread too. Hang in there

You are all so kind. Thank you.

Your kids need their mum, above all else.

It will be okay, OP.

It will show you care you've made a mistake.

OP I am a lawyer who has been defending professionals against negligence claims for 20yrs - I now head up an internal complaints and claims dept in a big firm. Honestly I have seen it all and I am never shocked or think any less of anyone when they make a mistake - and these are mistakes that costs millions. We are all human. People are either upset and scared or completely defensive and defiant. If someone is upset I can reassure them and they feel much better - not so easy if they are just defensive about it! Just say sorry to your employer and tell them how upset you are and that you want to help in any way you can. Hopefully they have insurance. As everyone has said, in time this will be forgotten and there are far more important things to worry about in life.

@Famfirst thank you. Initially I was going to be honest and explain truthfully how bad I feel, not sleeping etc. But a lot of the advice out there seems to be not to over apologize - just say sorry once along with any strategies you can implement and move on. It’s got me a bit unsure about how I should approach this.

This sounds really hard for you. I think today is the worst you will feel with the uncertainty and it being a weekend, so remember that you'll feel better soon. Also it was a mistake. There is such a huge difference between human error and deliberate sabotage, the latter being difficult to forgive while the former is human and understandable.

Hopefully you can turn it round and it's not as bad as you think. Even if it is, you are far more than this one mistake and far more than your job xx

It's fine to show how bad you feel about this error. It is absolutely NOT fine to make it all about you with tales of insomnia, days spent weeping, and so forth. Instead, show you understand exactly what went wrong and what the impact could be for the business. Then segue into a rectification strategy.

Tomorrow, ask yourself how you'd advise a colleague who'd done similar. After telling her she's a bloody idiot (you've already done that), what suggestions would you make for fixing the problem? Who else would need to be on board, and what support might be called for? How will it work, and should anything change going forward?

Once you've come up with a plan for your 'friend', go to work on Monday as if you were going into the meeting with her. Wishing you well!

I know people say it’s just a job. But I adore my job, it’s the best role I’ve had and I was hoping to stay with them for many years. Now I’m worried I’ve thrown that all away because of a moment of stupidity/carelessness.

I have made 3 quite significant mistakes over the years. I have always owned up to them immediately, been prepared to think of helpful solutions to help mitigate the effects and to go through what happened with my manager/Headteacher as part if a 'What can we learn?' thing.

As a manager, I am not unduly upset when staff make mistakes if I know them to be staff who are conscientious and that it is out of character.

One of my best staff took a child's very personal safeguarding file to an important meeting, found the meeting very stressful and at the end sat on a bench outside of social services, in the town centre, for a few minutes to recover and left the file on the bench. He realised 10 minutes later, dashed back and it had gone. He was devastated, came straight to me and was beside himself at how careless he'd been. He wanted to ring the mother and tell her what he had done. He thought someone would post awful details on social media. He thought the mother would sue us. He was sure he was going to be sacked. My view was that someone would pick it up, understand what it was and hand it in. I rang the police and social services to warn them it might turn up- it was already at social services. An elderly lady had picked it up, looked at the title on the sealed envelope the contents were in and realised immediately it shouldn't be lying on a bench and had taken it into the building. The seal was unbroken on the envelope. I know that member of staff will never make a mistake like that again.

Most people, when they know a genuine mistake has been made by someone, will want to help to sort the situation out if they can- even if it makes no difference to them to do so.

Stop worrying. Do go and apologise. Explain what happened and what you have learned and make some suggestions that might help. Don't make excuses though.

If they are a decent employer, and this is a one off, they will see that and support you through. We spend a lot of time at work and invest a lot of emotion in it so being upset is completely understandable. But you honestly need to know that this is not the end of the world. Can I ask what sort of industry you are in?

My husband and I run our own business and sometimes we mess up. There's an emotional arc you go through in this situation from panic and horror through apologising, trying to put things right. We have to accept we might get a bad review online. We can't always make everyone happy. We learn from our mistakes and try to prevent that problem happening again. What I wanted to say to you is that further down the line it just becomes something unfortunate that happened. The emotional response goes away. It will be ok OP.