'Fuck it attitude' to everything work-related since hitting 50...

[YankeeDoodleWhat]

That's it. I can't say this in real life but since hitting 50 I just don't seem to care about work-related 'stuff'.

I do my job and am in a very senior role but I've lost all attachment to it. I'm more shocked than anyone as I used to love work and everything surrounding it. Now, I'm annoyed if I have to work an evening or weekend.

Not sure why I've posted, just a rant as I can't say this out loud in the real world 🙂

If anyone's been here and come through, please let me know how. I can't afford to retire or do fewer hours.

I’m late 20’s and already feel like this - i never used to, but I went above and beyond to get some work done in record time & someone in my team turned round and said pity it’s not always like this. Made me realise I’ll never please them so fuck it.

Let’s not forget the `forced fun via teams’ - I hate this at my workplace. I don’t need yet another -let’s get to know each other and let’s play games kind of meeting. I feel like such a grump somedays but remote working has made forced fun so much worse. I just want to get on with my work and get closer to leaving….

@PhamieGowsSong , this might be a little late, but i started saving in my 30s. I've reckoned i needed £20k for every self funded year of early retirement and then less that from 55 to 67 when the rest of my pensions kick in. I'll only have been able to provide myself with 5 years self funded retirement as it is a lot to save, but that's massive really when feeling like this, and it's absolutely the best thing I'll have done for myself.

I have my annual appraisal on Monday and I'm meant to submit a few discussion points around accomplishments and job satisfaction by tomorrow. I cba to do it and am seriously considering recording my accomplishments for this year as 'turned up for work, what more do you want?' and for job satisfaction, 'it pays the bills'.

It's amazing how little money you can live on if you are content with very little.

I agree. I worked part-time for a year, temped part-time, temped with gaps in-between, and now I am retired - five and a half years after leaving my full time job (voluntary redundancy). I retired a year before I turned 65 (national superannuation age here).

I don't have holidays, or expensive tastes, and don't even own my own home. I do have some money in the bank from inheritances, but really I live on very little. My main expenses, other than rent, are groceries and recently, vet bills. I do have lots of coffees out, the occasional dinner, trip to the cinema etc., and I go walking every day - often several times, otherwise I am happy pottering. I do more online shopping than I should, but mostly live a fairly simple life and I'm happy and content.

I’m not in a job where we not often do teams, but next week we’re to attend to an obligatory dance work shop. Because it’s good to use both parts of your brain. I’m 50 very soon, and don’t mind dancing really. But this just no.

@SomersetTart

Your life sounds lovely.

Can I ask if you'd feel the same if you were single do you think?

Im 40 and I don't care. I want to be left alone and grow plants and make art. I haven't figured out the financial side. 🤣

Thanks for this thread and it's cathartic to share but such a shame so many are fed up with such a large part of people's lives.

I enjoyed a job I had for decades despite low pay. The work was straightforward, undemanding and couldn't have wanted better management and colleagues. We were professional experienced adults who played fair, had a bit of fun and cared about colleagues and doing a good job. People rarely left and were productive. They said I was hardworking, competent and devoted.

After redundancy and joining the NHS where generally some are great but it's very different. Most of the team are kind but there's little camaraderie coupled with pressure, lack of training, unfavourable pay and conditions, and lack of staff. Most jobs are temporary. You have to watch your back and some NHS staff are very unpleasant and hard. Sick leave, finding staff and then retaining them is a constant battle but it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I got fed up of making suggestions and trying to get upskilled to get ignored. I had a strip torn off a few times for being friendly and caring then it was mentioned a few times I'm quiet and seem sad now I've got the message and shut down. They don't know what they want. I don't care anymore because there's no point and it just hurts you in the end. I was never somebody who wanted to play games but they do so now I follow suit rather than challenge and be seen as a trouble maker who they'll try and push out, or be walked over people pleaser like I've been most of my life. I'm not giving them the satisfaction when the job suits me for now but NHS jobs have a shelf life. They've got the corporate robot they wanted who only does the necessary and puts herself first.

If only companies gave a bit they'd generally get loads back in return but are too focused on the bottom line and short-sightedly screwing people over for a few quid. The money they lose by recruiting and training staff who don't stick around is far greater.

@allaloneandlost I work in the NHS and it’s always been thus. I’m fairly junior but experienced. Standards have declined massively, we’ve had a huge intake of new staff and yet we haven’t enough staff to do the job properly. Meanwhile the higher grades seem to spend most of their time in meetings about meetings, shooting out e-mails, gossiping in their office with their tea tray and coffee maker, and really haven’t got a clue about what is going on out on the ward. 5 years ago they did clinical days, now they don’t, massive mistake. Our group bonding days have been cancelled because we don’t have to staff to do the job, you couldn’t make it up…

Perhaps linked to that but likely to be the reduction in female hormones that makes us docile compliant people pleasers. God bless the menopause.

@SixtyandGrumpy ah yes, the death by feedback. Sitting in a room listening to every group trying to say something to make sense of a bollocks set of questions no-one really understood in the first place.

I tend to say that I have a train to catch and skip out of the "feedback"

"Could you please all post this [some corporate bollocks PR piece] on Linked In"

Nope, a) it is my Linked In page which belongs to me, would you expect to use my Facebook account or the front of my house to do this? b) Linked In is the most tedious load of utter wank and I spend as little time on there as humanly possible

Roll on the day I can walk away

I have been thinking about this - would make a good novel. Hormones which make women compliant until they are of an age where they can no longer have young, and then they blend into the background because they can't deal with the change in feelings - but a new wave of postmenopausal woman come through who decide they want to overthrow men. They do this with the new wave of younger women who are identifying out of womanhood - and in the end women rule the world - but they tap into femininity to make sure violence is quashed, and have the best of both worlds.

Does oestrogen make me a people pleaser? In which case it can f off too. Maybe there are some upsides to the menopause!

Yes, me too. Also very senior. I can afford to retire but the organisation have asked me to stay for another year, and I'm too loyal to let them down. And given the current circumstances I would be letting them down. I very much resent the long hours, especially as the compromise of me dropping my hours just isn't feasible

I'd be out the door if I could afford to retire. They won't give a shit about you once you've gone.

quite common to be less motivated after many years of working but the pandemic has accelerated it. Covid caused a lot of people to reevaluate exactly what they needed and valued in life. So they've stopped work earlier than planned, or are planning to retire earlier or realising that only one in a family needed to work... any many of those still working have decided it’s not worth the hassle of trying to climb any further and are happy to coast along where they are.

Thank you@tothelefttotheleft So kind of you to say that, I do appreciate it.

I am sure I'd feel the same if I was on my own as several of my single friends live in a similar way to me and are having a very happy time. They have built really close networks around them and are a huge support for each other both with social and emotional things but also practical stuff like dog sitting.

The allotment, the little bit of gardening (really lovely clients) and antique selling (always someone new to meet), my friends and my local community (especially the wild swimming women) provide a lot of social interaction and a community feel and I think if I were single I'd work even harder at making a cosy community around me

I certainly wouldn't feel the need to go and get a 'proper' job to fill my days as they are already full.

So interesting about your DH @TisTheDarnSeason .

We found that a lot of the stuff like 'holidays, meals out, theatre' were things we did almost to compensate ourselves for the grind and frustration of our daily working life.

I can hardly bear to think of the money I spent whilst working - a new top to cheer myself up after a crap day, a magazine and a coffee for the train, a meal out and a bottle of wine to blur the edges after a long week, and then another on Sunday to gird our loins for another onslaught.

When we stopped our 'proper' jobs the pull of those things dropped right away, daily life is more fulfilling, less stressful, and the escape isn't necessary.

Now a meal out is likely to be at friends, the theatre might be a National Theatre screening at our local community cinema (£7 a head) or the travelling theatre groups that come to the local community hall (£5, bring your own wine, always brilliant). Holidays are camping or house sitting. In June we're going to Devon to house sit - two week's holiday in a smart flat on the coast for nothing....well, we have look after their cat, but I'm looking forward to that.

It's amazing how your life changes and how you can fill your life for less.
I hope your dreams come true.

Yes, this. 100% me now. 57 soon and couldn't care less about the fitting in stuff.

I really, really want to stop working and I can't afford to so I have to carry on.
I have a senior job too so I talk the talk but if I'm honest I am not really walking the walk, I am on here at 10am on a Friday for a start!

I think as long as I deliver what I'm supposed to it's fine. I just don't let anyone see how much I don't give a shit.

What I am finding is helping is a) changing my attitude. So for example if someone says "we should do x" and I think we really shouldn't I'm saying "ok, let's" - anything for an easy life, so what? and b) I am doing things that make me happy during the working day. So being here, browsing Rightmove, chatting to friends etc.

Will RTFT now!

You're an inspiration @SomersetTart. Lots to think about!

Me and DH feel exactly like this!!

I am 54, he is 51. We both just had a month off work, and have come back down to earth with an enormous bump. Being off and travelling has made us realise even more, what life could be like if we weren't tied to work.

I think it's a combination of things as you get older :

Your parents die, which makes you think of your own mortality (why am I doing something every day that I hate, when I could be on a beach in Jamaica?) My Mum died when I was 50, and it has changed my outlook.

You recognise a lot of bullshit politics in the workplace, that are meaningless.

The youngsters can be full of shit/office jargon. Who wants to listen to a 24 year old, who is permanently attached to a water bottle, spout on about anything?

You are close to being able to leave, so you're thinking about it more.

You have more money, so could afford to do things, if only you weren't tied to work, whether that be a nice holiday, or just drinking at the pub on a Sunday, knowing you don't have to up for work at 6am on Monday.

Children have grown up and left home - often they live far away and if you were retired you could visit more.

Friends around you start to retire and do fun stuff, which makes you envious - I have 2 female friends who have retired in the past 12 months. One is 54, one is 56. The change in their personalities has been shocking. Right back to how I remember them in their 20's. They are SO happy and carefree.

My DH works is a very stressful job in Emergency Services, and the shifts are terrible. He often says to me as he leaves "ring me if we win the lottery, cause I'm walking out".

Now I've read the thread, can I just say thank you and ha ha ha ha so many of these posts made me laugh.

Linkedin can fuck off, there's nobody over 35 really on there with their 'inspirational' quotes about stuff they know nothing about

I think I'm going to consider whether I can take a month off in the summer.

@whatsgoingon1234 I agree about those combinations.

I had a really stressful time at work and in life last year (bereavement) and on the way home on a long car journey I really thought I was about to have a stroke (I wasn't). I had a moment of clarity that was "this is my fucking LIFE, I only get one, what if I've wasted so much of it getting stressed about tedious bullshit and I'm about to die and I can't change it?" I really thought I might get home and die but I also thought, fuck this, I am stopping, nothing is worth my life. It's like Shrek handing over his day of birth to Rumpelstiltksin, I thought "have I handed over my whole life to working? Fuuuuuuuuuuck!"

Sadly because our mortgage is massive and we are still supporting a child at university I couldn't and can't stop. Yet.

lol at "ring if we win the lottery"

Whilst I earn really well and think maybe I'd miss that if I wasn't working I do also think hmm, maybe I wouldn't need so many dinners out, treats, things to make me feel better about the tedium that is corporate life if I wasn't sucked into it.