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Original poster

'Fuck it attitude' to everything work-related since hitting 50...

289 replies

YankeeDoodleWhat · 13/03/2024 17:40

That's it. I can't say this in real life but since hitting 50 I just don't seem to care about work-related 'stuff'.

I do my job and am in a very senior role but I've lost all attachment to it. I'm more shocked than anyone as I used to love work and everything surrounding it. Now, I'm annoyed if I have to work an evening or weekend.

Not sure why I've posted, just a rant as I can't say this out loud in the real world 🙂

If anyone's been here and come through, please let me know how. I can't afford to retire or do fewer hours.

OP posts:
Joyfulincolour · 18/03/2024 20:30

Ah, I've found my people!
I used to be very calm and tolerant but I'm just not any more. I think it's a combination of age, decreasing hormones and an inability to tolerate nonsense.
I sit in meetings looking around the room in disbelief as people are talking rubbish, but no one mentions the elephant in the room! I can't help myself now & I say the think everyone is thinking.
I'm in my early 50s and I wish I had planned for my retirement more actively. I've spent the last 2 years really evaluating what I enjoy & what winds me up. The enjoyable parts are decreasing by the day and I've started to look for other jobs. I want this last 8-10 years to be enjoyable/satisfying work, but I don't want to run myself into the ground either. The decade also brings some doubts & feelings of imposter syndrome, too.
There is talk of redundancy too and you can't help feeling that the managers look at staff in this age group as dead wood. Not feeling appreciated is very real too. I agree with PP about aiming for a simpler life and maybe that's what i will aim for when the mortgage is paid off.
Great thread @YankeeDoodleWhat
Some of the comments have really made me laugh - "I couldn't give a shiny shit anymore" 😂

ILoveNigelTufnel · 18/03/2024 21:37

Aydel · 18/03/2024 14:56

My whole and authentic self is a right cunt and better left at home and you have the sanitised version.

I was asked at staff drinks, being the old boiler, what advice I would give to new colleagues. I said “Don’t have a drink and drugs fuelled threesome with colleagues. It can make Monday morning a bit awkward in the cold, harsh light of day.” It was a bit of a tumbleweed moment.

🤣🤣🤣

TorroFerney · 20/03/2024 15:50

WoodBurningStov · 15/03/2024 11:03

I'm in a senior role that looks after customers (think Account Director type role). We supply services to large companies that we all use at some point or another.

I really struggle with the amount of fuss and stress they show when things go wrong. I end up sat there thinking 'oh ffs Mr Customer, you sell fucking bed linen, you're not curing cancer'. I really struggle to get that worked up about anything these days. I'm waiting for someone to question my urgency - but people just compliment me on my level headedness and the fact I don't panic or get stressed, I'm loathed to tell them it's because I don't actually give a shit if one of their shops can't dispense coffee or sell you a quilt.

Absolutely this - it's not God's work is it. It's funny because if you ever watch things with brain surgeons on or other medical people , you know people doing proper jobs, they make no where near the fuss that middle manager (insert name here) makes when their laptop doesn't work or they don't get some report on time. I've started saying to my boss who gets stressed - it's just stuff we've made up to keep us all busy you do know that!

Floofydawg · 20/03/2024 17:57

I had the most pointless 121 with my boss today. I might as well have been talking to my dog.

StoneTheCrone · 20/03/2024 21:04

Floofydawg · 20/03/2024 17:57

I had the most pointless 121 with my boss today. I might as well have been talking to my dog.

😁

I think this every time I'm in a meeting. WHY are we talking about this? Nothing will get done and it makes no difference whatsoever.

I think some people just like hearing the sound of their own voice and meetings make them feel important.

Ilikewinter · 20/03/2024 21:17

100% get all of you! Ive dropped a bit of a bollock today, nothing life threatening or that will end world peace, but tomorrow I have to have a sit down meeting to formally discuss what happened and why and then my manager will decide if to give me a formal warning. The past me would be shitting it, but now I just dont care. I made a genuine error in a pressurised situation and have already 'reflected' on the reasons why...however I will go through the motions in the morning! Life is to short to worry about this stuff.

Floofydawg · 20/03/2024 21:33

Sounds a bit OTT @Ilikewinter - good luck.

ILoveNigelTufnel · 20/03/2024 21:39

We had the most pointless meeting today at work. In the past I would have thought it was a great reminder of how to do ….. but today it felt patronising and pointless. If I can’t do my job properly by now, I need taking out and shooting. No wonder no one wants to do my job!!

Lookingatthesunset · 20/03/2024 23:26

whatsgoingon1234 · 15/03/2024 10:23

Me and DH feel exactly like this!!

I am 54, he is 51. We both just had a month off work, and have come back down to earth with an enormous bump. Being off and travelling has made us realise even more, what life could be like if we weren't tied to work.

I think it's a combination of things as you get older :

Your parents die, which makes you think of your own mortality (why am I doing something every day that I hate, when I could be on a beach in Jamaica?) My Mum died when I was 50, and it has changed my outlook.

You recognise a lot of bullshit politics in the workplace, that are meaningless.

The youngsters can be full of shit/office jargon. Who wants to listen to a 24 year old, who is permanently attached to a water bottle, spout on about anything?

You are close to being able to leave, so you're thinking about it more.

You have more money, so could afford to do things, if only you weren't tied to work, whether that be a nice holiday, or just drinking at the pub on a Sunday, knowing you don't have to up for work at 6am on Monday.

Children have grown up and left home - often they live far away and if you were retired you could visit more.

Friends around you start to retire and do fun stuff, which makes you envious - I have 2 female friends who have retired in the past 12 months. One is 54, one is 56. The change in their personalities has been shocking. Right back to how I remember them in their 20's. They are SO happy and carefree.

My DH works is a very stressful job in Emergency Services, and the shifts are terrible. He often says to me as he leaves "ring me if we win the lottery, cause I'm walking out".

Losing your parents is definitely a trigger. I lost both of mine when I was 43. I couldn't have cared less about work after that. I'd been treated really shittily when I was 30 and was treated like crap ever after. Been 32 years working for the same fucking awful organisation. It doesn't get any better, but at my age I'm just quietly coasting towards retirement. I'm going to flexibly retire if they will let me.

Lookingatthesunset · 20/03/2024 23:38

Changenamefortoday · 15/03/2024 10:46

Thanks so much for this thread.

I'm 56 in a basic admin role with barely anything to do, as more tasks get digitised I'm left with less and less. I don't want to ask for more as I'm afraid of the opposite happening and getting swamped and not coping. I've applied for 2 other roles in the same dept that I would find interesting and had the skills and qualifications but not even been offered an interview.

My organisation has recently announced cost savings offering early retirement and voluntary severance so I've applied. I reckon if I save as much as I can between now and a leave date of July, I can afford at least a couple of months off without touching either the lump sum or my main savings and if necessary pick up a Christmas job to tide me over while I decide what I want to do.

My DH is a few years older and not in the best of health so I'd rather we had the time now while we can still get around and do stuff.

If I get knocked back for ER I don't know how I'm going to cope with another 10+ years.

I would literally kill for VS and so many people in my organisation got it - I was just too young, and it's not going to happen again in the foreseeable!

Lookingatthesunset · 20/03/2024 23:50

Floofydawg · 20/03/2024 17:57

I had the most pointless 121 with my boss today. I might as well have been talking to my dog.

My 1-2-1 meetings with my previous manager were a shitshow. It was basically an interrogation, a memory test. While she with her solitary A level bitched at me with my 4 A levels, degree, MSc, professional qualification and other postgrads!!

MinnieMountain · 21/03/2024 06:30

I’m job hunting because since our company was sold the new senior management are faceless arseholes who clearly don’t give a crap about the staff, but on the other hand I really can’t be bothered to start a new job.

Floofydawg · 21/03/2024 06:54

I feel like we need a regular 'over 50's fed up workers' thread for us all to share the shitty parts of our days.

It's my Friday today....thank fuck!

Joyfulincolour · 21/03/2024 07:06

Agre @Floofydawg we should keep this thread running for support!

My workplace have announced voluntary severance & then it will go to compulsory redundancy, and I really wish I could afford to take it. I would still need another job and this is the problem, as I'm early 50s, intolerant and physically a bit knackered, so I don't want to take just any old job & hate it even more. I need to work until I'm 60 so I've got a way to go but I'm finding it hard to keep going in a job that I don't enjoy & that irritates me. Strange situation to be in at this stage of life.

Floopani · 21/03/2024 07:18

My current eye roll is going into meetings where people are losing their shit because they want something done IMMEDIATELY that a) they should of brought up about six months earlier or b) they can't understand why you didn't telepathically know what they wanted six months ago. The thing always needs about 3-6 months to achieve and if they think I'm running around working all hours for their mistakes they are in for a shock.

Plus agree with you @Floofydawg, 1:1s with boss, although he is very enthusiastic about life in general as if talking with an ineffective human golden retriever, are totally pointless.

Naptimeagain · 21/03/2024 07:57

I'm forcing myself to go through an internal re-grading application process - public sector - so I can get a pay increase purely so I can retire maybe 6 months earlier.

So I'll have to spend the weekend working on the application and trying to sound enthusiastic about the job which I am sick of. I won't even get a new job out of it, but the same shit will be a bit more bearable with a 2% pay rise.

If my DS wasn't still in uni I think I'd just fade away.

JoJothegerbil · 21/03/2024 07:59

Floofydawg · 20/03/2024 17:57

I had the most pointless 121 with my boss today. I might as well have been talking to my dog.

I had one of these on Monday. I'd stressed about it all weekend as during last year's I felt really picked on. Utterly pointless. It's a small company and he has very set ideas on how things should be done, so even if I suggest anything, it will get pooh poohed and nothing will change. I'm only staying because I can't afford to leave as despite all that, the pay is ok.

DaintyYellowShoes · 21/03/2024 09:10

OMG I've found my people. I'm early 50s, peri, working part time in a job that is meaningful, interesting, worthwhile, and my colleagues are lovely, but I'm so so knackered. And my tolerance for bullshit is near-zero. I feel guilty about not doing enough, but some days I get to a point where I just CAN'T. I mean, I probably could if you held a gun to my head, but that's the level of pressure it would take.

I remember being in my 20s and working nights to fund myself whilst I did voluntary work during the day AND studied, all in order to get in to this profession, and I feel tired just thinking about it.

ILoveNigelTufnel · 21/03/2024 22:28

Sorry!!! Got to own up - just realised that it says about being 50 and not giving a shit. I’ve obviously not even given a shit about reading the title properly… only 44. I’m still really pissed off with my job though!! Please can I continue to grumble on here?!

Floofydawg · 21/03/2024 22:39

ILoveNigelTufnel · 21/03/2024 22:28

Sorry!!! Got to own up - just realised that it says about being 50 and not giving a shit. I’ve obviously not even given a shit about reading the title properly… only 44. I’m still really pissed off with my job though!! Please can I continue to grumble on here?!

It's ok, we'll let you in.

Whycantiwinmillionsandsquillions · 21/03/2024 23:11

My boss feels staff don’t engage in meetings. Well no, I’m looking for another job so I don’t care.
Nothing changes for the better.
It just gets discussed. But the work still had to be done except we’ve wasted hours Discussing how things could change but won’t change, so now we all have to frantically cram like mad to get the work done in less time.

iwafs · 21/03/2024 23:15

My sil feels this way, early 40s. She’s now senior enough to say no to doing stuff and she does as little as possible and doesn’t care. She prioritises her kids, which is fair enough.

Original poster
YankeeDoodleWhat · 22/03/2024 14:06

It's Friday everyone! I hope this is the last working day of the week for us all.

I've had a shitshow of a week where I've had to listen to children fretting about how the organisation will cope when they leave. I think I burst their bubble.

OP posts:
Floofydawg · 22/03/2024 14:52

YankeeDoodleWhat · 22/03/2024 14:06

It's Friday everyone! I hope this is the last working day of the week for us all.

I've had a shitshow of a week where I've had to listen to children fretting about how the organisation will cope when they leave. I think I burst their bubble.

Happy Friday OP! I'm 4 days and don't work Fridays fortunately.

This week's fun moment was when our bonus was announced and the more junior staff whined on for ages about how they were getting less. Try working for over 30 years to get to my level, having had shit or no bonuses for years!

PermanentTemporary · 22/03/2024 15:41

Friday it is, sadly I'm working Saturday, I'd normally then take Monday off but have decided there's too much on so am going to work a half day on Monday. And have done a ton of extra hours this week. Need to improve my fuck-it factor.