'Fuck it attitude' to everything work-related since hitting 50...

[YankeeDoodleWhat]

That's it. I can't say this in real life but since hitting 50 I just don't seem to care about work-related 'stuff'.

I do my job and am in a very senior role but I've lost all attachment to it. I'm more shocked than anyone as I used to love work and everything surrounding it. Now, I'm annoyed if I have to work an evening or weekend.

Not sure why I've posted, just a rant as I can't say this out loud in the real world 🙂

If anyone's been here and come through, please let me know how. I can't afford to retire or do fewer hours.

I think raising the retirement age has really affected people.
People ask me if I enjoy my job. The reality is I’m only doing it for the money. I can’t afford not to work. If I was offered redundancy I would take it.
Extremely unlikely to happen.
I would much rather be chilling, doing exactly what I please.

I hear you op. I think it’s a combination of things - Covid has changed peoples mindsets for one thing. I spent years knocking my pan in but menopause has definitely shifted my focus too. I would love to go part time but I’m senior and can’t even if I could afford to (I can’t thanks to an expensive divorce). I’m like this at home more than work actually as I really love my job. But the people pleaser in me left the building when menopause hit!

I used to love my job, felt I was really doing something good for the kids, but now I see that it’s just box ticking to earn the commission for the company I’m employed by.
Things happen that shouldn’t, no one is told off for it, it’s skipped over and we’re expected to let it go. And that’s not me. And that’s the one thing that’s making me want to go right now, I can only see it getting worse, and I can’t live with that.
I want to buy a motor home and fuck off, so I don’t have to put up with people and their crap.

I disagree, my dh was director level and used to eat, breath and sleep his job. About 51 he took voluntary redundancy (his choice), took his HGV licence and has driven a truck for the last 8 years and is really happy. You literally couldn't pay him enough to go back to his old job

Work places are just no fun at all anymore. When I started work, we could smoke in the office, we all went out for long lunches generally including a drink, we sat around chatting…now the technology means you are always on, it’s frowned upon to have small talk, the politically correct rules mean everything you say and do is potentially offensive…you can barely have a disagreement without someone accusing you of bullying. It’s totally joyless.

Im 49 and quit corporate life a few months ago. I’m setting something up with my partner well away from the corporate bullshit.

the politically correct rules mean everything you say and do is potentially offensive…you can barely have a disagreement without someone accusing you of bullying. It’s totally joyless.

This!
Im actually scared of losing my income due to doing something innocently wrong.

I agree with the above.
I feel every little thing you do and say is monitored.
Too much forced fun.
The staff are frazzled and have asked to be able to work flexi. No let’s have a team building day instead.
The staff have requested hybrid working. No let’s organise an invent on the day staff could work from home.
Staff have requested to reduce their hours. No, let’s give them a longer break in the middle of the day instead.
Whats the point of a long lunch now? Years ago we went to the pub, you can’t do that now.

Totally agree @hamstersarse Friendships were formed at work too and the balance was there organically. The LinkedIn faux culture is painful and makes my ageing toes curl. Good luck in your new venture away from the nonsense.

I was offered a promotion and asked to apply for a more senior position, I turned it down as I can't be arsed with my current job, and just couldn't stand the thought of having to put more effort in. Plus it was managing people and I hate doing that

I have felt like that for quite a few years (I am 53).

I don't understand with the idea that work should always be our number one priority and that should be 'passionate' about what we do...

To me work is just a way to make money so I can enjoy life outside work.

I have had some really bad health issues and it makes you realise that life is too short to spend most of it stuck at work...

I left London two years ago, sold my flat and moved to the coast for a better and slower quality of life and I am much happier there. I work part-time so I have time to try to address my long term health issues/do the physical therapy I need.

My employer was really poor when I had a life threatening health issue a few months ago.

I am doing a full time job over 3 days, have taken on more responsibilities than what is on my JD and rebuilt several areas of work from scratch and for what?

They refused to upgrade my job title to reflect what I actually do, constantly try to prevent me from working from home although they hired me with the agreement I would only be needed one day a month in the office (which is 4 hours away).

I just found out although I am quite senior I am the one who is paid the least in my team (woman, older, part-time and disabled, so I don't matter...)

Most employers don't give a damn about us so why should we?

I am looking to move to a new role working fully from home and have no intention of doing more than is required ever again.

It's good to remember that almost all employers don't give a shit about you. It's easier not to care then. It's a job. Work to get paid.

“I find not being motivated at work to be a problem because 1. I liked finding my job interesting/motivating and would love to find that again 2. I find it quite draining spending my days trying to work up the energy to do my work - when I have the odd day when I end up being busy/productive I feel so much better.”
@Bellebelleagain This is me too!

Thing is - you used to be able to have fun, have relationships (where else can you meet people anyway when you work long hours?), have arguments and still be colleagues and even friends. The red line that resulted in a visit to HR was criminality or serious misconduct - not mere ‘offence’.

My first workplace resulted in 5 successful marriages. In my current one my colleagues barely seem to interact.

it's all the HR and wellbeing nonsense the HR kittens are so earnest about. I just cannot take it seriously

Neither can I. We have endless mandatory trainings on recycling, eco stuff, microaggressions, well-being, mental health, menopause, proper terminology, BLM, pronouns, LBGTQ++++++. There are endless exhortations to ‘bring your whole self to work’ - to which my entire response is “I’d rather not”. Fortunately most are video and I can run them in the background or skip to the end.

And people's "wellbeing" is getting worse.

At my last place we had a real push for wellbeing. I believed in it, to begin with, it felt like the right thing to do, you can hardly be anti staff wellbeing, but it seemed the more we did the worse it got, and sickness absence went through the roof.

Yep. Definitely menopause related. I've stopped giving a shit about a lot of things including work.

Does all this not giving a shit make you happier?

I want to care, about work and other things, but find I can't motivate myself to. This does not make me happy or less stressed, just bored and disatisfied.

@Sparetoes I can totally relate to your post - literally job hunting in the hope it will galvanise me into action but your post suggests not. Maybe I should stay where I am and can get away with doing fuck all

They have just advertised and said looking for someone with energy … bloody cheek.

This made me laugh 😄 @Imustgoforarun
Not laughing at you obvs, I have no work energy either

Nurse of many years experience but bottom of the pile band 5, so not senior at all 😂 sick of the stress, sick of carrying less experienced colleagues who are now senior to me, have always worked hard and given 100% but after developing a stress related medical condition decided to retire and return last year. I only work 17.75 hours a week, don’t get involved in work politics at all, hoping to do some volunteering later in the year at a local hospice or a charity cafe, not sure which yet.
Sadly I’ll still have to work until state pension kicks in as the pension isn’t enough on its own but I’m lucky that I’ve paid of the mortgage and I have fairly substantial savings (inheritance).

@Sparetoes completely agree, work takes up too much of my time for it to be this boring/dissatisfying

Sounds a bit cringe but it’s a sense of purpose that I miss. I currently work for a company that are genuinely ‘good’ - great culture, they do brilliant things for society etc but I feel nothing. I was more motivated when I worked for one of the big banks - I was well aware that they were morally corrupt and working there didn’t align with my personal beliefs but I was so driven - I was very close to my team and loved my work. The politics/conflict were pretty bad and I sometimes wonder if I need that friction to be motivated, something to push against. I’m well aware that’s not sustainable/healthy though. I was genuinely ‘burnt out’ when I left there.

This happened to me after the pandemic. Every one WFH, completely detached, our office shut. So I literally did say fuck it and gave it up and now I’m a SAHM.

What are you on about..

This thread is really helpful so thank you. I do like my job but I don't lose any sleep over it but some days I really just can't be bothered, if anyone asks me to do anything my immediate internal response is f off. We all get the same salary increase and bonus, regardless of performance so that is not a motivator for me either.

I am in the high end of my field so nowhere to go unless I changed role which is bit late for me, turned 50 last year and am well paid so don't want to start at the bottom. I work in HR and the 'wellbeing' initiatives/inclusivity and politically correct babble infuriates me rather than inspires me.

I have a GPs appointment in April as I believe I am perimenopausal and am suffering a lot with symptoms (particularly low mood/anxiety/no interest in life/wondering what the point of me is) so it is helpful to hear many of you are perimenopausal too.
I don't hate my job though or dread coming into the office, just not so invested in it. There is hopefully more to life, though I can't see it at the moment.

My husband worked in banking for three decades and then, like me, saw through it and wanted out.

He resigned by mailing this photo of some graffiti to his boss.

And he was free as a bird with me! Now we just muck about and have done so for a decade.

This thread has given me so much heart that other people see through the treadmill and have the courage to step off.

Yes I did. I was a senior PA in a city legal firm and was increasingly dissatisfied from about age 50 I think. The job was changing, attitudes were changing, and I increasingly felt that my experience was not seen as something to be valued but rather old fashioned and not in keeping with the new 'innovative' way that the company wanted their PAs to work.

Covid threw up a number of other pressures workwise - one of my bosses (I had 9) loathed the fact that I wasn't in the office at their beck and call all day and wasn't backwards in letting me know it which included screaming down the phone at me at any given opportunity which added to already stressful days and I was getting increasingly upset with my lot. DH was getting very concerned about me.

In December 2021, when I had just turned 59 and DH was 68 looked at our figures. He had already gone down to 3 days per week and said that he would give up completely in summer 2022 and that if I wanted to I could do the same. I said I would hold fire on making a decision until our New Year bonus/pay rise review discussion which was very unsatisfactory so I decided to give up when DH did.

Nearly 2 years on I'm not regretting that decision. DH said 'I don't think you realised how tired you looked and how much of a toll that job was taking on you' and he was right. Will I try and find something else to try and bring in a few pennies before my State Pension kicks in? Possibly, but for the time being I'm enjoying not having a sinking feeling every time my mobile rings and seeing my bosses' name on the screen. Simply pleasures.