Sleeping in bed with Dad aged 10?

[Mangococktail]

My friend is dating a guy and I have red flags everywhere.

She is extraordinary defensive of him.

The latest is that his 10 year old daughter sleeps in his bed with him.

I'm not a parent. Child is not an only child.

Am I completely wrong to think this is not normal?

What if it was her mum she was sleeping in bed with? It’s fine op. I had to do a night shift Xmas eve and my 14yo jumped at the chance to jump into my spot next to her dad. So you basically think your friends boyfriend must be sexually attracted to kids/and/or raping his daughter?

My 10yo get in between me and dp. Is that OK? If I wasn't there, would it make it not OK?

On the face of it, it sounds fine.

If you have safe guarding concerns then you need to report it.

My 10 year old boy sleeps in my bed. Also
sometimes his dad’s bed.

Just because she is a girl, doesn’t mean she doesn’t sometimes need comfort or to be near her dad. There doesn’t need to be anything nefarious about it.

It's perfectly normal for kids to share beds with their parents.

Bit worrying of you to assume that it's not.

It's unusual but not very unusual for a 10yo to still climb into bed with their parents. What are the other red flags you've noticed?

This isn't a red flag on its own, its totally normal.

What are the other things?

On its own it isn’t a red flag at all.

Nail hit head

Thank you everyone. I understand this is absolutely fine.

I'm not sure why a couple of posters felt the need to be horrible about the question...my only frame of reference is my own family where we wouldn't have done this.

Thanks so much. I just wanted to check.

What are the other red flags?

A question isn't a judgment.

If people didn't ask questions, they wouldn't learn.

I know I'd rather seek advice than turn a blind eye. There's no need to be horrible.

The other red flags are financial and social and lies...nothing to do with safety of children and I'm grateful you've all clarified this is normal. I didn't mean to cause offence.

I'm really surprised that so many think it's fine for an adult man to sleep in the same bed as a 10 yo girl. Why isn't she in her own bed?

A father, with his 10yo daughter.

My friend is dating a guy and I have red flags everywhere.

The other red flags are financial and social and lies...nothing to do with safety of children and I'm grateful you've all clarified this is normal. I didn't mean to cause offence.

Your post insinuates that a father is being sexually inappropriate with their child when you have absolutely no proof of this whatsoever, and your other "red flags* are completely unrelated, yet some other posters are being "horrible."

Right.

I often sleep in bed with my 11 year old son. Maybe some people think it's weird but we love snuggling still. I'm sure it changes by teenage years but I wouldn't get too hung up on that.

Ref the red flags, sometimes you just have to sit back and let people figure it out themselves. You often won't be thanked for imposing your opinion on whether the guys a dick. If you're worried about safeguarding based on more than just sharing the bed then that's a different story

And fathers have never been known to sexually abuse their daughters?

Woah. What a bizarre reaction. OP is asking because she isn't sure.

Does the child have her own bed, but pops in with her dad on occasion, OP?

And what makes you think its happening in this case?

Does she get into his bed sometimes when she feels she needs a parent there (pretty normal) or does she not have a suitable bed to sleep in, and sleeps with him every night - this would be a red flag, possibly for neglect, possibly even sexual.

A 10 year old needs access to their own clean, comfortable bed, even if they are choosing to get in with their parent.

And what makes you think it isn't?

There's as much indication of this man abusing his daughter as there is of you abusing children.

Should we all just walk around assuming everyone is a child abuser until proven otherwise?