Claiming child support from ONS sperm donor

[Maryannberlwyn]

I watched the TV show about that guy who goes around getting lots of women pregnant throughout the globe.

I'm sure there are women out there desperate for a child and would get pregnant from ONS etc. there are even websites set up to meet others.

Would it morally be wrong to claim child support from a guy she had used for sperm, either willingly or not.

I think it's morally wrong but my friend doesn't think a mother should live of benefits.

God sucks to be a man

If a man has unprotected sex then he should be prepared that a child may come from that and as such child maintenance can be claimed from him.
He can always use protection if he does not want a child.

If it's a ONS (strangers meet, do the deed & leave never to see each other again) then I dont know how the woman would claim child maintenance as you need details for the father to claim.

Don't know. Let's pretend she used the condom and found him on LinkedIn.

Yes, he is as obligated as the mother.

Do you mean she has used sperm from a used condom?

It's never morally wrong to claim child support though it it morally wrong to try to get pregnant through semen from a used condom. Not sure why you think it 'sucks to be a man' based on the idea that they might have to financially contribute to babies they created through casual sex!

Also just to blow your friend's mind you can claim child maintenance AND be on benefits at the same time 😱

Having a ONS is inherently risky for all parties. It is an activity some people find worth the risk, but it is not a necessity.

🤣🤣🤣 at the idea you could get enough in maintenance even with a willing contribution to not need a good job yourself or some help from the state.

I do actually think IF it could be proven that she had literally stolen the sperm from a used condom, in that very unlikely scenario, the man could have a case to not pay but other than that, no. This has been done before on here wrt abortion. Most of the time men hold all the cards. In this one instance women have an extra roll of the dice that men can't control. Any sexually active man should be aware of the potential for fatherhood. And whilst Alabama et al is forcing women who've been raped to continue with the pregnancy or face criminal charges I'm tending to lean more to "sucks to be a woman".

Why does it "suck" to be a man? If you don't want a child, use protection. It's not a difficult concept. As a woman who does not want to get pregnant, I use contraception when I have sex to prevent that. Men can wear a condom.

I do think it is morally wrong to be having one night stands with the intention of getting pregnant, but I absolutely do not think it is morally wrong for both parents to have to financially support a child when it arrives into the world, so absolutely the man should pay maintenance.

Your friend needs to educate herself on benefits too. I work full time, receive maintenance AND get benefits. It's not an either or situation.

I think it must be pretty hard to get pregnant from a used condom? Don't they have spermicide in them? Either way it's not right, sounds like women that "poke holes in condoms" or come off the pill without discussion

It's never morally wrong to claim child support though it it morally wrong to try to get pregnant through semen from a used condom

In the unlikely event that someone did get pregnant that way I think it would be wrong to claim child support because he has used protection and hasn’t consented to conceiving a child that way.

I think it's morally wrong but my friend doesn't think a mother should live of benefits
Has she ever entertained the notion of providing for herself?!
Countless women manage it. Having a man provide for you or claiming benefits are not the only choices.

Yes yes, men must NEVER face any consequences or responsibility when they have sex. They must be free to have as much sex as they like. The idea that they can/should be expected to control themselves or compromise their desires in anyway is horrendous and unacceptable.

Of course they should. Might be a lot fewer marriages judging by MN as so many seem to go for the try before you buy philosophy so if men decided they weren't going to risk it (after all even with contraception there is a risk).

I believe the only ones who aren't susceptible to maintenance claims are men who donate sperm through official approved processes.

Things I never thought I’d read on MN!

Let's say a woman wanted to get pregnant, had sex with a guy with a condom, took the condom after he left... Got pregnant.

He did everything he could to protect himself.

She wanted to get pregnant on purpose.

Should she claim child support?

In that case I’d say no she should not. He used a condom to avoid pregnancy, yes accidents happens even with condoms which both parties have to face up to however what your friend has done doesn’t seem like an accident so she should of thought about the financial side of bringing a baby up before she got pregnant

No she shouldn’t

But it would be impossible to prove so…

It would be an unwise idea to claim it as he could counter claim for sexual assault, the same way a woman could if a man deliberately slipped off a condom during sex.

I don't think this is true. It wouldn't make any legal sense

If a man and woman have sex, take precautions (or not) and an unplanned pregnancy results... then morally they should both be responsible.

If deception occurs and a woman deliberately sets out to become pregnant... then morally no. However legally, can this be proved? Legally, the man may still be responsible.

That's nonsense, stealing a condom is not the same as someone stealthing at all, how is stealing a condom from a bin sexual assault?

In the very unlikely event that it happened then the child is an innocent, so does need to be provided for, however there should be some type of charge, that men have to go through the system to prove, and get questioned about their sex lives and a judgment based off that, then the Mum can get a slap on the wrist or maybe a few hours community service.

You seem to be coming at it that child support is for the mother, and that therefore should not be paid if the mother behaved immorally

But the child support is for the child, who didn't ask to be born, who had no control over their conception, and who deserves the financial support of both parents regardless of the circumstances of their conception

And given rapists aren't currently usually being left with a baby on their hards I think men have some way to go before it "sucks to be a man" because of women

All contraception can fail so if a man is genuinely worried about becoming a father through a ONS regardless of whether its by contraception failure or the incredibly rare possibility of a woman stealing semen out of a condom after a reasonable amount of time has passed and hoping that enough of it is still viable (it starts dying after 15 mins plus spermicide on condoms) then don't have a ONS!

What if she lied?

The child support is for the child, not the mother. Whatever the mother has done, however she got pregnant, irrelevant. The child still has rights.

Condoms have a 20% typical failure rate..............