Positive stories of speech delay please - worrying myself silly

[T1nkerbelll]

I know this is a very common subject on these boards but I am worrying myself silly with my son’s development and need some words of encouragement please.

My son is 22 months and barely speaking. He probably says around 5-8 words, but that includes some animal noises, and does babble sometimes but not a great deal. I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole of reading autism symptoms that I’ve recognised in him including: focusing on my lips when I’m talking to him, he’ll often fall into a trance - usually when sat in his highchair where he likes to stare at a spotlight in the kitchen, can seem like he’s ignoring me or doesn’t hear me, lines up toy cars, has to shut a cupboard door if it’s open, and of course his speech delay.

On the flip side he does have good understanding of what is being said to him. For example if I ask him to sit on the step and put his shoes on, he will follow the instructions and find his shoes, sit on the step and attempt to put them on etc. He shows interest in other children and attempt to engage in play with them. He points to things, he brings me things, he waves/claps/blows kisses and can do actions to his favourite nursery rhymes. He’s got good gross motor skills and can climb stairs leading with one foot, kick a ball etc. He does play ‘appropriately’ with toys (as well as line them up); push cars round a track/down a ramp, says hello when he puts a toy phone to his ear, brush his hair with a hairbrush etc.

But I’m not concentrating on any of that, all I can see is the negative and the things I keep reading on Google. I am pushing for a hearing test for him as his older sister has hearing problems although this never affected her speech. He is very dribbly, and a mouth breather, so I do wonder if he has enlarged adenoids/tonsils but think that’s just me hoping it’s physical rather than developmental.

I’m feeling so miserable about it all and just want my little boy to talk to me. And then start worrying about what the future will look like. Help 😭

You say he failed his new born hearing test- was this followed up with further testing? The lip reading thing could well be related to a hearing problem which can result in delayed speech - glue ear is very common in young children- has he had a lot of colds?

@KnottyKnitting yes he had a follow-up test which he did pass. I was told he failed the first test because he still had a lot of mucus from his quick birth, but to be honest he’s still a snotty kid!

Always seems to have a cold/cough (assumed it was just a nursery thing!), very restless/noisy at night because of it, which often makes him tired and grumpy in the day. He did have his ears checked not long ago and they were ok but my understanding is that glue ear can come and go? He’s dribbly and pulls at his ears but could be his molars. It’s the unknown that is the worse thing!

I would keep an eye on his speech - out of my three kids, one started speaking late at 2 1/2, one struggled with speech and had a speech disorder (diagnosed at 3) also autistic but diagnosed at 10, my youngest was slow to speak and needed speech therapy too. The youngest is showing signs of dyslexia. The autistic one speaks fine now, but it wasn't clear until 7.

Definitely get on the waiting list for speech therapy and consider private therapy. Hopefully it will not be needed. All three kids had excellent understanding of what I was saying but responding back was a different matter. They are all doing well at school now. Slow speech doesn't mean anything is wrong long term but good to be aware.

My eldest wasn't talking until the month before his 2nd birthday. No words really and then was able to say complicated words and sentences by 2 and a half. Was amazing. Fantastic chatterbox now at 12. I love hearing the way he puts sentences together now and new turns of phrases he uses.

I remember taking my dd to a 2nd birthday party. The birthday girl was speaking in full sentences whereas my own dd only had a handful of single words. The age difference only a couple of weeks so the contrast couldn't have been any greater.

I tried not to worry because I knew my dd had a good understanding of language but it was very hard.

I can't remember how old dd was when she finally began talking properly but she was fluent by the time she started school and is now doing well at uni.

That sounds exactly like my dd! I think she was just waiting until she could do it properly…

Breathe.
Speaking as the mother of two boys, one super-academic, the other special needs, I'd say you've nothing to worry about.

It doesn't sound like autism to me. Honest. And I now know not only my second, but much of his age group here in London.

The key point is your child is interacting. He looks at you when you speak. He responds in actions if not in words. Pointing is especially good news. My autististic child, who is not even far along the spectrum as it turns out, never pointed. He didn't (and still generally doesn't) like to interact with anyone but me, or at best his nearest and most familiar people -- dad, brother. Wouldn't even look at them for the longest time. And yet he's now pretty good for all that, by the way. And quite articulate too!

My superbright older son, who hit every other milestone super early, had an extremely long gap between his first single words and his sentences, right around 2-2 1/2. It's apparently normal to have some gap -- they learn words, then fall silent while figuring out sentences. But his gap seemed long at the time to me too!

If there is glue ear, that can cause delays, but despite what we are told about this causing longterm problems, it doesn't look like that to me when I consider my brothers' and friends' children. A hearing problem if it exists will become more apparent by 3 -31/2, and could (could, perhaps, not will) require some speech therapy, but doesn't seem to lead to any permanent delay. By all means get on any lists you can, ask your health visitor/doctor for a hearing test referral (they can test hearing that young) on the grounds that you can cancel the appointment if no problem emerges, but don't panic now.

@cariadlet its so hard not to compare and that’s what I’m struggling with the most I think. And reading how they are supposed to have 50 or so words at this age and he barely has 5! Glad to hear all was ok with your DD 😊

@athingofbeauty thank you so much for your lovely reply. He can be very shy around other adults, particularly people he doesn’t know, and refuses to look at them but he usually warms up after a while. I’m definitely going to push for the hearing test, particularly as both me and my husband, and now his sister, have had hearing/ENT issues as children. And my MIL keeps telling me that my husband didn’t talk until he was 2 either!

@T1nkerbelll don't worry about the length of time on an activity. At his age you're more looking for the ability to engage in play than how long they can do it for.

Both my sons have been similar in that regard. In fact, I used to joke about ds1 and tell friends I left all the crafty stuff to nursery because it took me longer to get it out and tidy than DS actually spent with it. He's 11 now and still hates anything crafty.

If he's engaging in play, and looking to others to join in with him and engage with him, even for a short time, I really wouldn't worry.

@Milkand2sugarsplease I’m exactly the same about craft activities 🤣 I definitely leave that to nursery! Thank you so much

Happy Mother’s Day everyone 💐 Hope you enjoy your day however you are spending it.

I could’ve written your post practically word for word when my DS was the same age (he’s 10 now and absolutely fine!). His turned out to be glue ear, and enlarged tonsils & adenoids. So to him basically everything sounded like it was underwater.

My son is 4 and until around a year ago, he wasn't coherent and sentences were almost non existent.

Progress was almost overnight (with the help of a private speech therapist). He will likely meet age related standards (in terms of speech and language) by Sept when he starts school. He has more of a speech issue than language issues, so we primarily focus on breaking speech habits and modelling sounds.

He has no hearing issues, and I would say he is otherwise a very intelligent boy. Now that he can talk, I've noticed how sharp his mouth is lol. His preschool teachers love him because he's very kind hearted and enjoys the company of his friends.

I know what you're going through. It's been a long journey. My peace came from engagement with health professionals, and seeing what could be done to support him. If there were other, more challenging, developmental issues, I felt heartened to know that there is support available (but access to it can vary depending on your location/school choice- I have heard less pleasant experiences in that regard).

Hi Op

Have you done the autism tracker questionnaire? That might provide some reassurance.

My daughter had basically no words until she was about 26 months old (a handful of animal noises and a couple of others).

Then she did just start saying more and more words one week just before Xmas , and putting words together. She's now nearly 30 months and her speech develops everyday. She's still probably a bit behind but within normal ranges broadly (or so I'm told!).

Anyway I was / am very worried but for her it did seem to be a combination of glue ear and just her own developmental path. Like your son she understands what's going on. That, and the fact she does imaginative play, seemed to mean SLT were largely unconcerned.

What helped? Repeatedly Doing songs and encouraging her to fill in the last words eg row row row the '...'

Makaton signing - this helped her communicate. She now doesn't sign at all really.

And what was / is reassuring? Listening and reading about other people who had similar experiences and whose children are now much older!

It can feel all consuming and I really feel your anxiety. Take care x

@Loulo6098 thank you, it’s so reassuring to hear other people’s experiences. And yes it’s the uncertainty that I’m finding the hardest, I just want to know what to do to make it better for him!

@seasaltwater you are so right, hearing other people’s stories is what is giving me hope right now. I just can’t imagine words coming out of his mouth right now 😩 I just need to try to relax and enjoy spending time with him. And yes the SLT mentioned that exact example of ‘row row row your…’ and giving him enough time to try and say the word. And not to ask him to repeat or ask him too many questions which I do struggle with!

Oh gosh I know @T1nkerbelll I remember thinking will my child ever say anything. And it's so hard not to ask questions but we were given the same advice to try and explain rather than ask (LAME - Less Asking More Explaining).

My daughter also randomly started liking to watch Yakka dee on bbc which is a Kind of speech thing. I don't know if it helped but it does feel like vaguely educational / supportive tv (although it is DULL for adults haha).

Anyway, do feel free to DM. I went through (and to be honest stil go through) lots of worries about developmental delay and autism. Also found it very hard to be around other children same age due to comparisons.

No speech / barely any babble in my youngest at 2

salt input - advised lots of songs, books etc and we used makaton signing (helped I knew already through work signing reduced the frustration on both sides - salt told us using signing alongside speech helps encourage communication (we ignored all the ‘well meaning’ people who criticised us for signing with her - as ‘then she’ll get lazy and never talk’ )

speech gradually came and she / we naturally dropped the signs…

by time started school - absolute chatterbox who I regularly wished would stop talking (after years of willing her to speak - now wouldn’t shut up!!!!!!!!!!!! )

It’s really hard when they don’t appear to be hitting milestones - but don’t lose hope.

One of my friends little boy barely made a sound except crying until he was 3 - then literally overnight he started speaking in full sentences - they are all so individual and different.

@seasaltwater it’s crazy isn’t it as he’s hitting all his other milestones but we make such a big deal out of speech. I’m hoping he is just taking it all in and will speak when he’s ready and that he’s just not motivated to talk right now. And I remember my daughter watching Yakka Dee so I’ll give that a go with him!

@anotherrainyday I love hearing experiences like this and just hope my son is the same! I have a daughter who is an absolute chatterbox so I totally get it 🤣 I just can’t imagine proper words and sentences coming out of my son’s mouth right now but will keep talking, singing and reading to him!

I might be reaching here but I've heard a lot about tongue tie lately and how it can hinder speech. Has he had that checked?

@2Orangesandlemons its funny you say that as he his tongue tie snipped at 5 weeks but I have wondered if it reattached as he doesn’t really stick his tongue out and won’t chew certain foods. But then I just wonder if I’m clutching at straws!

Ds had a severe speech delay, he is 7 now and still has trouble with some sounds but is "age appropriate", he worked so hard with his amazing nhs speech therapist, every sound andc word was hard won for him, but he got there!

It was very gradual, we used makaton for a while and made him sign for things, that seemed to make things click. "More" was the one we started with so purposely gave him less and he would get more when he signed for more, harsh but worked and we went from there! He then started saying the word as he signed it, then dropped the sign.

At 3, my son started nursery saying very few words. When he was two he didn't speak. He was so quiet, you'd forget he was there! He's 10 in May and a real chatterbox. He loves a chat, loves talking about facts, loves solving the world's problems. We cycle to and from school every day and it's about a half an hour each way. We have lots of good talks on those bike rides. He's a very profound thinker... with an insane sense of humour. Not only does he speak beautifully, but he's also a really great creative writer.

What really, really helped DS was group speech therapy because it taught him how to take part in a conversation, when to speak, and when/how to listen and respond to what others were saying. PEC cards helped too!

My twins had their HV check at 27 months and at that point were barely saying 5 words each. HV wasn't too concerned as just like your LO mine were understanding instructions and commands so she was sure it wasn't a hearing issue.

That was 2 months ago and they suddenly started speaking a lot more. Still not as much as their older sibling did at the same age but more. I swear they woke up one day and just started saying a lot more!

Singing and understanding is a great sign

DS2 was heading for 3 and didn't talk he had an all purpose noise which only I could distinguish the sound for drink or cuddle.

One day I came home from work to be greeted with hello mummy can I have drink

Haven’t read all replies so someone may have already said this. I understand it’s natural to worry. But please stop thinking of autism as some awful thing to have. For some people yes it is a very debilitating condition. But in many cases it is just a different way of thinking. In your sons case it sounds like he is sociable, has a good quality of life, enjoys activities, is bright and happy. Would it be so awful if he was autistic?

My daughter only had a couple of words by age 2. Her brain really struggled to get to grips with speech, she didn’t really babble much and couldn’t produce much in the way of coherent sounds until 2.5 despite having excellent understanding. By her third birthday she was talking in fluent sentences. At 3yrs 4 months she was diagnosed autistic. By 3yrs 8 months she had taught herself to read. Now at 5 she is the most articulate child I have ever met and will not stop talking 😂 and she has a reading age of approx. 9 yrs old. She has some challenges and things she struggles with but she is also happy and brings us a lot of joy. We are very lucky.

Honestly I know how it feels to worry about them. But he is who he is, as all children are, so we just have to accept whatever that brings. You won’t know for a while whether or not he is autistic so just try to relax and enjoy him.

@Hoooooda thank you for your message and I completely understand what you are saying. Your daughter sounds wonderful and by no means do I think autism as something awful. I think it’s more the unknown that worries me and I just want to be able to provide him with the right support, whatever that looks like.