Positive stories of speech delay please - worrying myself silly

[T1nkerbelll]

I know this is a very common subject on these boards but I am worrying myself silly with my son’s development and need some words of encouragement please.

My son is 22 months and barely speaking. He probably says around 5-8 words, but that includes some animal noises, and does babble sometimes but not a great deal. I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole of reading autism symptoms that I’ve recognised in him including: focusing on my lips when I’m talking to him, he’ll often fall into a trance - usually when sat in his highchair where he likes to stare at a spotlight in the kitchen, can seem like he’s ignoring me or doesn’t hear me, lines up toy cars, has to shut a cupboard door if it’s open, and of course his speech delay.

On the flip side he does have good understanding of what is being said to him. For example if I ask him to sit on the step and put his shoes on, he will follow the instructions and find his shoes, sit on the step and attempt to put them on etc. He shows interest in other children and attempt to engage in play with them. He points to things, he brings me things, he waves/claps/blows kisses and can do actions to his favourite nursery rhymes. He’s got good gross motor skills and can climb stairs leading with one foot, kick a ball etc. He does play ‘appropriately’ with toys (as well as line them up); push cars round a track/down a ramp, says hello when he puts a toy phone to his ear, brush his hair with a hairbrush etc.

But I’m not concentrating on any of that, all I can see is the negative and the things I keep reading on Google. I am pushing for a hearing test for him as his older sister has hearing problems although this never affected her speech. He is very dribbly, and a mouth breather, so I do wonder if he has enlarged adenoids/tonsils but think that’s just me hoping it’s physical rather than developmental.

I’m feeling so miserable about it all and just want my little boy to talk to me. And then start worrying about what the future will look like. Help 😭

My first born was exactly the same, not a word really by the time he was 2. But fine otherwise, good understanding etc. HV did 2 year check and referred him, he was diagnosed with glue ear and enlarged tonsils. Tonsillectomy at 3 and vents inserted and all of a sudden he was talking, it was crazy looking back how much he was held back due to his problems. He's a strapping 15 year old and absolutely perfect!

Please don't worry. My son was barely speaking at 3 years. Now 8 and regularly starts sentences with "according to my calculations" or "unexpectedly"
Obviously check it out if you're worried but I had the wind put up me by hvs and speech therapists and it turned out fine x

1st thing - see your health visitor and they will put wheels in motion for a hearing test. 2nd thing - although signs out ASC are present at 22 months, a diagnosis will be considered at a later age in many cases.
3rd thing - don't worry by looking at google. All children are different.

My DD didn't respond to her name at all until she was 3 and only had 10 words age 3. She is 9 now and although has a diagnosis of developmental language disorder and autism, she's working at lower secondary level at literacy and maths. Her communication is still poor but she does speak in full sentences, mostly.

Speech therapy, play at home and part time nursery helped a lot. School will help too, they are used to speech delay and have special programmes in place.

Thank you both!

I forgot to say that I did speak to a speech therapist, who seemed unconcerned because his understanding is good. And nursery have said to same. But I just can’t shake this feeling and it’s making me feel so sad, that I’m ruining this time with him almost.

We had a bath together tonight and had a lovely time singing songs and playing but I kept noticing him looking at my lips when I was speaking and of course googled it and the first thing that came up was a research into infants lip reading and autism. I need to stop doing this to myself 😫

@alannabanana81 Same here, it often takes me by suprise when I hear, "Well Mummy, it was a little disconcerting" and think, 6 years ago I was begging you to just say 'mummy'. 🤣

I was worried as my son had very few words at 2. Then one day he just said "can I have a drink?" I was so shocked. He went from a few words to speaking in full sentences.

Thank you 🙏🏼 I’ve read so many experiences like this and just hope my son does the same.

Both my DD were late talkers but walking at 8 months old. Like me they are both bloody hopeless at PE 🤣 Yet exceptionally bright and caught up with talking by age 6.

I couldn't not reply —my son was like this at 2 - fast forward a couple of years and he wouldn't bloody shut up. He's 20 now and doing a fast track diplomatic service job so please take comfort - there is hope.

My youngest, now 13, had glue ear and the associated hearing problems. He couldn't say consonants such as S, T and F but he grew out of it, is a summer baby so started school young, which worried us since we could understand him but often others couldn't, but his hearing improved as he grew (we decided to wait it out for a bit rather than jump to grommets). He went to grammar school and has come top of his year in maths and excelling in other subjects. They come along so fast, I wouldn't worry.

Only one of mine was an early talker... the other three... nope.
DD2 was well over two before she uttered a single word, but is a highly competent and incredibly articulate professional now.
DS2 had glue ear and some special needs and had no speech until he was 4+
After grommets his speech took off and he hasn't stopped talking since.

I now have a litte grandson. At 22m he had maybe 4 words?
He';ll be 3 at the end of April, and while some of his speech sounds are still a bit immature, he has a massive vocabulary and and can argue in full sentences not to mention correcting me on the names of dinosaurs!

I also work with early years... honestly there is a huge range in speech development and if his understanding is good (as it clearly is) ... stop worrying, speech will come!

Both DS were very slow to talk

youngest one had about 10 words and would loose words as fast as gained words. At 3 we found he had glue ear, almost completely deaf in one ear. Sorted that and language resolved very quickly. He doesn’t talk much anyway, he’s 27 and of the male mode strong and silent type🙄🤦‍♀️but he Holds a good job, lovely partner so it’s not held him back

eldest ds was a very early mover. An absconder whether crawling or walking. He would never give things a “ go” to learn…he’d watch and listen and only when he felt he could do something would he do it….refused to feed himself till he could load up a spoon and put in his mouth accurately..wouldn’t join in with activities until he could see how everyone else did it. So, He babbled for 3 years, never got frustrated…we did! Then he came out with “ where has daddy gone to?” Perfectly articulated and precisely. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣🤣🤣. He now works on communication..is eloquent and verbose.

so, get their ears checked…easy to miss…but if they’re ok just keep talking and reading to them…some are just slower on some areas of d velopment, some learn differently ..they’ll get there if you keep talking with them.

My son started school without speech that could be understood even by me. No hearing issues found. However he doesn’t have any issues now at aged 8.

@DiscoBeat this sounds similar as my son will only say words beginning with m, n, d which I presume are a lot easier than s, t, f etc. Thank you so much for your reply.

@Sonolanona thank you for your kind words and reassurance 🙏🏼 there really is such a huge range in speech development, my friend has a 16 month old and his speech is so good it’s hard to not compare 😪

@Dartwarbler you must be very proud of your boys 😍I spoke to the HV who said the hearing referral needs to go through our GP so that’s what I’m pushing for. He failed his first newborn hearing test so perhaps there is something to that 🤷🏻‍♀️

My son is the same age as yours op . Your son says more words than mine , he just babbles , no animal noises either well apart from a dinosaur roar .

Kids at this age tend to look at your lips , speech therapist told me they are looking to see how you make the sounds etc.

Im not worried about my son because like yours he’s got very good understanding , plays with toys in an appropriate way . Good eye contact.

Please try not to worry too much , I’m sure he’s just taking it all in.

@ScoobyBooby my son’s favourite noise is the dinosaur roar 😍 and the same noise for a lion, tiger, bear, Gruffalo etc 🤣 Thank you for your message.

I’m also 16 weeks pregnant so I’m very hormonal and irrational; all your kind words are helping me no end!

My daughter had a global developmental delay and no words at 18 months. We had years of speech therapy and support throughout school.

She got 3 great A levels, a 2:1 in her degree and at 23 is very happy and working in a well paid job. I have to confesss to a quiet satisfaction in seeing her so much happier and more settled than many of her school “friends” who spent so many years laughing at her.

My second son was a late talker and when he was just over two years old and barely speaking I was so anxious. He had full understanding of what was being said to him and he could follow instructions but he just wouldn’t talk.

And somewhere between that point and his 2.5 year old health check he suddenly turned a corner and began chatting away, saying more and more things everyday.

He’s 6 now and he doesn’t stop talking…..it’s constant!

Try not to worry 💐

OP your list of symptoms describes my son to an absolute T, spookily so actually. I didn't realise the zoning out or lip reading was an autism sign! But similarly to your son, his understanding is good, eye contact fine, very sociable with adults and occasionally will play with children. He's 2 years and 4 months old.

I've been really worried about autism too. He has a hearing test coming up but I'm not getting any luck with a speech therapy referral 😟

Reflective learning is not a major autism indicator. Our DC at 2 had quite a decent vocab of single words but his phrases were the same ones he’d had for ages and ages. One particular one “get door” (we lived in US) had been since he was crawling. At just over 2 I was sitting on the couch with him and it suddenly dawned on me that we were having a conversation. It was similar with reading, but the filpside as he actually got there ahead of the game but just presented us with that fait a complis one day.Before everyone piles in, no not hyperlexia. He’s 18 now, still a raconteur and wordsmith. Good at gym benching this and that but not a team player type. More the chap who writes the match report or resides in the commentary box. Not a scientist, a thinker, a writer.

They find who they are sometimes sooner than you’d think possible

DS2 is 33 months now.

Between 24 and 29 months he had barely any words whatsoever and seemed to be making my zero effort at all. Everything was simply a very whingey "ta, ta, ta".

As an SEN teacher, I went around the houses with what could be wrong.

At 29m his speech just came from nowhere and I honestly think now that by the time he's 3 he'll be well within his age appropriate level.

If your son is showing good receptive communication and you have no concerns over his "play" (is imhe engaging with toys, seeking play from you, engaging with shared activities with you ie, a tea party with a toy tea set, then just give things time.

The eyfs 2yr check can be done between 2 & 3 rather then having to be done at 2. This shows the difference in abilities that children will have in that year and for most, there's absolutely nothing wrong, and it's not even a delay because it's still within the normal parameters of the 2-3 development bracket.

What I’m learning is that anything can be a sign of autism - he tiptoed across the kitchen the other day and my mind went into overdrive until I realised he had trodden in a raspberry on the floor and it was stuck to the bottom his foot 🙄🙈

How long did it take you to get the hearing test appointment once you’d been referred? Hope everything goes well for you 💐

My dc didn't speak until after 24 months but within a week was speaking in full sentences. The not speaking never bothered me because we always understood one another.

Many years ago one of my cousins speech was delayed. Apparently it was said his elder brother did all his talking for him. He’s well in his fifties now and is completely fine.
My elder granddaughter was really not speaking when she was two, lockdown hit us and all of a sudden she was chatting away. She’s six on Tuesday and is a proper chatterbox. X

@Milkand2sugarsplease thank you so much, this is so reassuring 🙏🏼

He does engage in shared activities with me but not for long periods of times - maybe 5/10 minutes max? We built a train track together today which was nice for all of 5 minutes, before he got frustrated and trashed it and moved onto another toy. Similarly he loves books, and will bring me one and sit on my lap, but we have to turn through the book at his speed, so we barely read it, before he is off again doing something else. The complete opposite to how my daughter is!